Just a short Five-Minute Friday post.
On these posts, I follow the one-word prompt from Kate at Heading Home.
If
you want to join, click that link to her blog. Every
Friday is a new word, and the only rules are:
Write for 5 minutes.
Link
your post on hers.
(You have a whole week to get your post up.)
It's pretty cool, and I find a new blog every week.
(I'm getting better at revisiting them, too.)
This week's one-word is "Weak".
Timer starting...
My first instinct when I saw this word was my ankle. I don't know what I did - it's not exactly sprained, but... well, that's not really what this "weak" is about, is it?
I have always been a "Strong woman". The opposite of weak. So what can I write?
I have a weakness for good food, and when I pass by a bakery, my willpower is weak. I don't think that's really it either.
When am I weak? What makes me weak?
Lately, every time things go wrong I'm ready to bail. The job situation since our move has been fraught with troubles and disappointments. Just recently, when they started pressing me for my documents to finalize my visa and contract, I balked. I don't love doing what I would be doing with their contract. I have worked with them because I didn't know about other options. Now that I have other options, I don't want this first option anymore. I want to leave that situation. I feel weak and powerless.
I feel like it makes me weak.
Actually, today, I found the strength to call my contact person and explain my hesitation, and guess what? It's okay! She agreed to give me time to think about my options and we will talk in a week.
Ha. In a "week".
But I feel stronger for opening up. Maybe I'm not as weak as I thought, after all.
I think there is a lot of strength in the moment of accepting where we are weak and reaching out. I am learning to do that every day. I have prided myself on being strong for so long. Not even sure if it was a pride thing. It was more of a necessity. I am definitely learning where my strength is now.
ReplyDeleteGlad to drop by as your FMF neighbor.
Have a great weekend. :)
Thank you, Kelly! Sorry I didn't get back into the blogosphere for so long!
DeleteI have also had the experience of feeling I need to show strength even though I am weak, and then when I reach out and voice my need, I discover that, despite my perceptions, those around me are not at odds with me. I don't need to be afraid to show my weaknesses. The tension has all been on my side, and I have conjured up this adversarial stand-off. We have so many more advocates and allies than we realize, if we would just let down our guard a little. Anyway, that's what I thought through after reading your post. It was a good little exercise for me in perspective and I thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteYour FMF neighbor. Laura
Yes! And yet I am always amazed to discover the allies.
DeleteBut it happens all the time.
I was so happy to hear that they were on board with your concerns and completely understood. I look forward to where this is going to go now.
ReplyDeleteI can do this for the short term.
DeleteGood things a-comin'!
I think that in a moment of "weak"ness you became even stronger! Hang on!!
ReplyDeleteThank you. It's so hard to admit at times, but this is truly a weight off. Being able to speak frankly with my pseudo-employer prevents burning that bridge!
Delete