...I speak some German, Mandarin, and am learning Vietnamese, but no Klingon. Yet.
24 April, 2019
Uncle #AtoZChallenge
"Yeah, and then I saw that guy off on his way. You know, helping people is what it's about." Uncle Ken was relaying his most recent adventure in getting intentionally lost. He did that a lot - turn the wrong way on purpose just to see what might happen and who he might meet on the way. Mind you, it made him late for Thanksgiving dinner, and then he was surprised we were already eating. Like it was our fault he prized his random adventures over family events.
The kids loved his stories, but I'd had enough of his know-it-all, show-off style. The story itself was never an issue, but his manner set my teeth on edge.
Sure enough, after dinner, as we were all lounging around watching football - or, for the teenagers, texting or gaming on phones - my niece Emily innocently laid her phone in her lap, leaned back into the sofa and said, "Ugh, I'm so tired. I think the tryptophan is kicking in."
Uncle Ken leaned over from the wing-back chair he'd occupied, and launched into know-it-all mode. "Actually, Emily, that's a myth. You'd have to eat a LOT of turkey to get enough tryptophan to have any effect. The sleepiness is more likely due to eating such a carb-heavy meal..." He droned on about the science of blood sugar and insulin while I sat silently reading and rolled my eyes.
Emily looked at him with the skepticism of a 16 year old, but didn't interrupt him. When he finished and leaned back looking smug, she cut her eyes to me. I shrugged. "Eh. Don't worry about it, Em."
Turning to my uncle, I asked, "Ken, why do always have to be so glib about everything? Can't you ever have a normal conversation?"
Eight year old Hunter was sitting on the floor listening absently and turned to me. "Clip? What do you mean 'clip'?"
I smiled at him. "Not 'clip'. Glib. It means your Great Uncle is a smooth talker who doesn't really say anything."
Hunter frowned and looked back down at his toy truck. Uncle Ken looked at me scornfully, then smirked and said, "Actually, Hunter, 'glib' is a word that is used..." At that point I rolled my eyes and left the room. Uncle Ken was just too much for me to take today.
Thank you for visiting my #AtoZChallenge! My theme is "Audience Participation" (read about it, here) and now it is your turn. Each day will be a new story based on suggestions from your comments. Suggest anything: a word, scenario, character, location... I will be keeping a list of suggestions, so if yours isn't used tomorrow, it may show up later. (Even after AtoZ.)
Today's post was inspired by the prompt "glib", suggested by Jz (of A Reluctant Bitch), given in comments on my "K" post (here) Special thanks to Brett (of Transformed Non-conformist) for help with glib dialog!
Labels:
#AtoZchallenge,
flash fiction
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My uncle Morton was kind of like this. Except his stories and analogies always involved some ancient mythology or small indigenous civilization. He would drone on for 20 minutes about some topic that no one was interested in and just laugh as he told his story. Always clueless to the fact that we were all just waiting for him to stop talking so we could get back to what we were talking about.
ReplyDeleteBrett - Funny. I honestly don't believe I have an uncle like this. I don't remember the husband of my dad's oldest sister, so it's possible he was that way. I had a glib BIL, I guess. I never thought of him that way.
ReplyDeleteOmigosh, I was rolling my eyes just as tho' there really was a bore in the room!
ReplyDeleteThanks for running with my prompt!
You probably don't need any more, but...
~verdant~
Funny how some people know something about everything! My Irish uncle told great stories but they took forever - going on snd in. I enjoyed the story.
ReplyDeleteGreat relatable story. I'm pretty sure there's some kind of cosmic law that demands every family have at least one glib member to make gatherings challenging and test our eye-rolling skills.
ReplyDeleteA couple of those sounded more like mansplaining to me. Although, kind of the same thing, really.
ReplyDeleteJz - I appreciate the prompt! I like to have a choice.
ReplyDeleteJeanne - Isn't it the truth? Jack of all trades, master of none. Thanks for visiting!
Deborah - That is probably true. And at least we can unify over that one family member.
Liz - I know. It's a hard word - who uses that anymore?