Today is the "Theme Reveal Day" for the A to Z Challenge.
No "Scary Stuff" is not my theme. I only signed up for the challenge today, spontaneously, so I opted not to sign up for the Theme Reveal Challenge.
No. "Scary Stuff" is the idea of forcing myself to write six days a week, when I have a job that requires me to be on the computer 8-hours a day, and I have low motivation to get online in the evening! If you check deeper into my blog, you will notice that I have not posted regularly for a very long time.
My life drastically changed about 4 years ago, and before that I had more time and inclination to write. I enjoyed my blog, developed friends through my blog, and even met my husband through his blog! So yeah, I loved blogging, but got away from it because I like my blog to be anonymous, and had no privacy to write for quite some time. (Please don't judge me based on my recent posts. Go back at least 10-12 posts - I think - if you want to get a flavor for my style.)
However, since it IS Theme Reveal Day, here's my theme:
A Travelogue of my Life.
Or maybe just:
Places I've Been
...Interesting Places?
Since I'm not "officially" a part of the Theme Reveal, I guess I don't feel like it has to be a coherent statement. You get the idea.
I promise it won't be boring. My dad was a missionary, so I've lived in four countries including boarding school, traveled to something like 20 more countries, and visited all but two US states. So I've BEEN places.
I am a bit out of practice blogging, but hopefully this will help revive that little germ from a few years and a lifetime ago!
22 March, 2016
17 March, 2016
Relativity
I just finished reading a book by one of my new favorite "chick lit" authors.The first book of Jenna McCarthy's that I read was called "Pretty Much Screwed" and it was a page-turner. (you know, if you like chick lit) This one took a little longer to get into, I think because my experience with birth-order psychology was different from Jenna's portrayal in Everything's Relative.
Warning: There may be subtle spoilers here. No plot points, but character points.
I've always felt a bit of an expert on Birth Order Psychology, particularly as it pertains to gender. As the 4th of 5, we have everything: Eldest daughter, eldest son, middle child (daughter), baby girl, baby boy. That's how *I* classified us, because in this world, CLEARLY, parents treat sons and daughters differently, so whereas my brother is technically "the baby", we were both treated as youngest, perhaps in different ways. My big brother was stubborn enough that my parents quickly realized he wouldn't accept the authority from my sister "the eldest" (apparently - I was too young to observe) and if they went out, he was to be responsible for himself. Thus, she did not suffer consequences for his misbehavior. Or something.
Everything's Relative has me seeing things in a different light. I've always considered myself from the perspective of the youngest...girl. But maybe that only counts where parental control comes into play. The youngest of the three sisters in this book was, "a hot mess" - acting out, rebellious, deliberately separate from her family. That's not me! Sounds a bit like the middle child in my family though, in her younger years. (Of course, not to such extremes as in the book.) So now I'm thinking, maybe my sis "Diana" was reacting to being the youngest of the three eldest siblings. Hmm...
In Everything's Relative, the middle sister is the peace-keeper who always wants everyone to be happy. A people-pleaser. That's a bit more me. A conflict-avoider of the highest order, I will freely leave the building when Diana loses her cool at me. So... maybe I'm more like the middle child of the bottom three siblings in my family? Certainly baby bro and Diana teamed up against me enough as we grew up. (And no, that's not my bias. They have both admitted as much in adulthood. They knew what was going on. I knew what was going on. It was a fact: Them vs. Me.) So maybe I should identify with the middle.
Anyway, after I got over my birth order confusion, I was able to enjoy the book a lot more. She's a good writer, and I'll keep following Jenna McCarthy. I still preferred Pretty Much Screwed, though. Maybe because it didn't hit as close to home.
20 February, 2016
And He Said WHAT?
I have the best,
most fun and spontaneous husband. This actually happened two summers ago...
Over the weekend I
went to a wedding two states away. Naturally, Brett was my date, so we
road-tripped together. Which is awesome. We make great travel-companions.
We took off from his
place, for a 5-6 hour drive, and about a half-hour down the road, his phone
rings. Not a number he recognized, but his same area code and prefix, so he
answered. This is what I heard:
Brett: Hey!
…
Okay. Bring your
X-Box.
…
Just bring it.
…
See you when you get
here!
Hearing this, I
figured it had something to do with some plans he must have for the next week,
after our return. I asked – as anyone
would - “who was it?”
Brett: No idea. It
was a wrong number.
Me(disbelieving):
…?!? No way! What was that about the X-box?
Brett: I dunno…
Some guy was calling his buddy (not Brett)
to say he was running about 20 minutes late. My fun, spontaneous,
thinks-on-his-feet then-boyfriend threw out the X-Box thing, guessing that he
sounded the right age to have one, and he was right! So when the guy asked why,
Brett didn’t elaborate: “Just bring it”.
I was randomly
giggling all weekend thinking about this guy showing up at a friend’s house
with his X-Box, and the friend not having a clue why. Can you imagine?
The other
spontaneous thing that ended up cracking me up for a while was The Cheese Shop.
Monty Python fans may be familiar with this…
On the return
trip from the wedding, when we stopped for lunch we noticed a "ONE STOP CHEESE SHOP" across the interchange. (I've lost the picture by now.)
I thought, how
many stops does it usually take for a person to buy cheese? so we decided we
better check it out. (If you follow Brett on Vine, you saw his video of the
place.)
We went in and saw a
college-age girl behind the counter.
“How many kinds of
cheese do you have?”
“Umm...”
Yeah. 7 kinds, and
not much of any of them. I noticed a sign further back advertising cheese
curds. I like cheese curds, but hardly ever get them, so I exclaimed, “Oh!
Cheese Curds!”
Before I could even
walk back there, I heard the girl call from the office:
“We’re all out!”
It cracked us both
up.
Sorry for any weird formatting. I'm trying to get back into blogging regularly, but things have changed...
04 January, 2016
*NOT* a Shotgun Wedding
The following was written sometime within the past year. About my wedding to Brett of the Transformed Noncomformist. I think I'll leave it as originally written...
As much as I started this blog to be host to my nerd-musings, I recognize that it has become a collection of stories related to the relationship that developed *through* this blog, with Brett of The Transformed Non-Conformist.
I haven't posted in an outrageously long time, but only because big things are afoot!
We got married!
Now, not only have I been a part of 6 - count 'em, SIX - weddings, but my last job involved providing people with permits to hold their wedding on a beach. I have seen a lot of stuff that makes me question people's priorities.
Our wedding was a total surprise to a lot of people. (I still get looks/questions that imply some people think I'm pregnant.) (...I'm not.) It was NOT a surprise to us. We'd been talking about it for about a year. I guess. It came up pretty quickly but you know, life. We lived in different states, had obligations, it was just a "down the road" plan. Brett moved to my city last winter, and we continued dating like normal people (aka: not long distance).
In the spring, we talked about getting married after he finished his Masters - so, in fall. (oh, but he "officially" proposed in February at a hipster pizza joint. The waitress was our witness.) But we knew we didn't want a public engagement, and didn't want to set a date or plan an "event" and have 95 people's "opinions" or advice or questions or hell. I do not like being the center of attention. This would drive me crazy.
Then, as Brett's daughter's graduation loomed closer, he got to talking about how, really, his timeframe had been based on the concept that he would be moving to Indiana after her graduation, and we wanted to date a while before tying the knot. Since he had moved 6 months earlier, the fall timeline made less sense. - so, maybe during the summer.
~~~
Somewhere along this point, I informed my mother of our theoretical plans, so she wouldn't be blind-sided. I swore her to secrecy and told her I would try to give her some advance notice, but it would probably only be a couple weeks.
I also inquired about having a small ceremony on their property.
~~~
Then, one random weekend, I was talking about my sisters being down at my parents' house the next week. (the following is my best recollection of the ensuing conversation.)
Brett: Wait - both your sisters will be here next weekend?
Me: Well, Hestia on the weekend. Diana during the week.
Brett: Oh.
Me: Why?
Brett: I was just thinking if they were both here, we should get married next weekend, while they're here.
Me: Seriously?
Brett: Yeah! Will you marry me...next weekend?
...well, obviously.
And that's all for now.
Sometime I will add more detail. For now, I just want to get back in the habit of posting.
As much as I started this blog to be host to my nerd-musings, I recognize that it has become a collection of stories related to the relationship that developed *through* this blog, with Brett of The Transformed Non-Conformist.
I haven't posted in an outrageously long time, but only because big things are afoot!
We got married!
Now, not only have I been a part of 6 - count 'em, SIX - weddings, but my last job involved providing people with permits to hold their wedding on a beach. I have seen a lot of stuff that makes me question people's priorities.
Our wedding was a total surprise to a lot of people. (I still get looks/questions that imply some people think I'm pregnant.) (...I'm not.) It was NOT a surprise to us. We'd been talking about it for about a year. I guess. It came up pretty quickly but you know, life. We lived in different states, had obligations, it was just a "down the road" plan. Brett moved to my city last winter, and we continued dating like normal people (aka: not long distance).
In the spring, we talked about getting married after he finished his Masters - so, in fall. (oh, but he "officially" proposed in February at a hipster pizza joint. The waitress was our witness.) But we knew we didn't want a public engagement, and didn't want to set a date or plan an "event" and have 95 people's "opinions" or advice or questions or hell. I do not like being the center of attention. This would drive me crazy.
Then, as Brett's daughter's graduation loomed closer, he got to talking about how, really, his timeframe had been based on the concept that he would be moving to Indiana after her graduation, and we wanted to date a while before tying the knot. Since he had moved 6 months earlier, the fall timeline made less sense. - so, maybe during the summer.
~~~
Somewhere along this point, I informed my mother of our theoretical plans, so she wouldn't be blind-sided. I swore her to secrecy and told her I would try to give her some advance notice, but it would probably only be a couple weeks.
I also inquired about having a small ceremony on their property.
~~~
Then, one random weekend, I was talking about my sisters being down at my parents' house the next week. (the following is my best recollection of the ensuing conversation.)
Brett: Wait - both your sisters will be here next weekend?
Me: Well, Hestia on the weekend. Diana during the week.
Brett: Oh.
Me: Why?
Brett: I was just thinking if they were both here, we should get married next weekend, while they're here.
Me: Seriously?
Brett: Yeah! Will you marry me...next weekend?
...well, obviously.
And that's all for now.
Sometime I will add more detail. For now, I just want to get back in the habit of posting.
10 January, 2014
Happy New Year...flashback
When I started this blog two years ago, I completed this New Years Meme that I found on the blog Mommy Wants Vodka. Two years later, and nearly Year of the Horse, Happy New Year!
1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
I went to the circus! The Univer-Soul Circus, to be precise!
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made one for 2013. For this "Year of the Horse", I've decided I will do/see something new each month to learn about my new city.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
It seems that all my new coworkers had given birth the year before. No lie, 6 babies in one year at my firm!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
A couple of people at my former church. There was a scare with my Aunt, this year, but no deaths.
5. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
Local girlfriends
6. What countries did you visit?
None, but a few states.
7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:
12.17. It's the date that Brett moved to Indy - just 15 minutes away!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Overcoming my fear and successfully hosting a major company dinner.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Making new friends. I still have no "hang-out" friends.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Whiplash when I fell on the ice - no wait, that was already this January. Umm...Nothing major.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My electric kettle. Every morning I use it, and because it doesn't sit on the stove-top, it doesn't get grease-splattered!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Give me some ideas. In this country, we've been lamenting our poor political leadership for so long, I can't think of anything positive.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My EX-sister-in-law.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Travel across state lines to see Brett. That's over now, though!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Planning our trip to Delaware so I can do the Polar Bear Plunge again! The trip is coming up in a few weeks, but the planning has been exciting.
16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
"Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus, which I've never heard in it's entirety, but it had so much press. Holy Cow.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same
iii. richer or poorer? Richer. Having a job will do that!
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Blogging
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Vegging in front of the TV.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At my parents, at my parents, at Brett's brother's, at church. Oy vey.
21. There was no #21. I don’t know why there was no 21.
I’ll make up my own question like everyone else.
What do you feel you missed out on in 2013?
My family reunion.
22. Did you fall in love in 2013?
I fell even more in love with Brett than I did in 2012.
23. How many one-night stands?
Many. All with the same guy. :)
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Big Bang Theory is still the winner, but I've also become hooked on Grimm.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nah.
26. What was the best book you read?
The Weird Sisters. At least it was the most memorable.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
No discoveries this year.
28. What did you want and get?
A fantastic apartment!
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I can't even think of what I saw...
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I don’t do my birthday. I might do something this year, because it's a significant one.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If the fitness center at my development had working machines.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
business-casual, with a heavy dose of sweats and flannel at home!
34. What kept you sane?
Prayer ...and alcohol. (I like this answer. I'm keeping it.)
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I've always secretly doted on Drew Carey.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The impasse about the budget. Americans have all become giant, inflexible, sticks-in-the-mud. If nobody is every willing to compromise, nothing will ever be accomplished. BOTH need to give a little.
37. Who did you miss?
All my friends in Delaware. A lot.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
My 5yo niece Titania! She's a doll. She sparkles and smacks; she's full of spunk... and reminds me at times of ...me. haha.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013:
Family is the most important.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Waking up too early
Maybe we can sleep in
Make you banana pancakes
Pretend like it's the weekend now"
(Banana Pancakes, by Jack Johnson)
1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
I went to the circus! The Univer-Soul Circus, to be precise!
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made one for 2013. For this "Year of the Horse", I've decided I will do/see something new each month to learn about my new city.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
It seems that all my new coworkers had given birth the year before. No lie, 6 babies in one year at my firm!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
A couple of people at my former church. There was a scare with my Aunt, this year, but no deaths.
5. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
Local girlfriends
6. What countries did you visit?
None, but a few states.
7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:
12.17. It's the date that Brett moved to Indy - just 15 minutes away!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Overcoming my fear and successfully hosting a major company dinner.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Making new friends. I still have no "hang-out" friends.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Whiplash when I fell on the ice - no wait, that was already this January. Umm...Nothing major.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Give me some ideas. In this country, we've been lamenting our poor political leadership for so long, I can't think of anything positive.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My EX-sister-in-law.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Travel across state lines to see Brett. That's over now, though!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Planning our trip to Delaware so I can do the Polar Bear Plunge again! The trip is coming up in a few weeks, but the planning has been exciting.
16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
"Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus, which I've never heard in it's entirety, but it had so much press. Holy Cow.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same
iii. richer or poorer? Richer. Having a job will do that!
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Blogging
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Vegging in front of the TV.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At my parents, at my parents, at Brett's brother's, at church. Oy vey.
21. There was no #21. I don’t know why there was no 21.
I’ll make up my own question like everyone else.
What do you feel you missed out on in 2013?
My family reunion.
22. Did you fall in love in 2013?
I fell even more in love with Brett than I did in 2012.
23. How many one-night stands?
Many. All with the same guy. :)
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Big Bang Theory is still the winner, but I've also become hooked on Grimm.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nah.
26. What was the best book you read?
The Weird Sisters. At least it was the most memorable.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
No discoveries this year.
28. What did you want and get?
A fantastic apartment!
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I can't even think of what I saw...
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I don’t do my birthday. I might do something this year, because it's a significant one.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If the fitness center at my development had working machines.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
business-casual, with a heavy dose of sweats and flannel at home!
34. What kept you sane?
Prayer ...and alcohol. (I like this answer. I'm keeping it.)
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I've always secretly doted on Drew Carey.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The impasse about the budget. Americans have all become giant, inflexible, sticks-in-the-mud. If nobody is every willing to compromise, nothing will ever be accomplished. BOTH need to give a little.
37. Who did you miss?
All my friends in Delaware. A lot.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
My 5yo niece Titania! She's a doll. She sparkles and smacks; she's full of spunk... and reminds me at times of ...me. haha.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013:
Family is the most important.
"Waking up too early
Maybe we can sleep in
Make you banana pancakes
Pretend like it's the weekend now"
(Banana Pancakes, by Jack Johnson)
30 October, 2013
The Aftermath
I survived!
Like I said before, I wasn't worried that I would NOT survive, just stressed about the event itself.
The dinner I'm referring to happened, what, 3 weeks ago? I'm lax in my writing. Sorry.
It started badly. I shot right by the restaurant, even with my GPS...the signage was all on the other side, on a one-way street. So I was running late now, having to navigate the stupid one-way downtown streets. Almost hyperventilating. But I prevented myself from crying, thankfully.
I arrived later than I intended, but earlier than the guests. One coworker was there, and the Founder Of The Firm! Oops. He was actually a big help. I think we're bonding.
And I really think most people are more flexible about time than I am, so no sweat.
People came in, I gave them nametags and explained about the wine (bottles of red were out, but they had to ask for the white, which was still on the chill). Once I was behind my little greeter table, I was quite comfortable, and would have been happy to stay there until I left. But my boss arrived, schmoozed some clients a bit, and came by to check who hadn't arrived, declared they wouldn't be there, and pointed me to a seat between two clients' wives.
Oy. Socializing.
I survived. More than that, I was hailed as the organizer of the event! And both big bosses thanked me for all my hard work. (awww...)
When I felt done, and thought everyone was comfortable with the scenario, I excused myself to my boss, who gave some final instructions, and I left.
The weight of the world was off my shoulders.
Next day, at work, my boss offers me a gift card to this restaurant. Apparently they made a deal to get 2 or 3 gift cards, since we were giving them HUGE business, and everyone felt I earned one of them.
I'm very grateful for that. It is a great restaurant for Brett - a Brazilian steakhouse where the meat just keeps coming. But I don't eat red meat, so $50 a plate is too much for me to spend on a salad bar and a couple pieces of chicken. Now, I get to take him to a fancy restaurant that I would never go to otherwise!
I'm so excited.
We have reservations for this weekend.
He just got *another* 100% on his last class, so we're celebrating that.
And Also? It will be the 1 1/2 year anniversary of the day we met. AWWW!
Like I said before, I wasn't worried that I would NOT survive, just stressed about the event itself.
The dinner I'm referring to happened, what, 3 weeks ago? I'm lax in my writing. Sorry.
It started badly. I shot right by the restaurant, even with my GPS...the signage was all on the other side, on a one-way street. So I was running late now, having to navigate the stupid one-way downtown streets. Almost hyperventilating. But I prevented myself from crying, thankfully.
I arrived later than I intended, but earlier than the guests. One coworker was there, and the Founder Of The Firm! Oops. He was actually a big help. I think we're bonding.
And I really think most people are more flexible about time than I am, so no sweat.
People came in, I gave them nametags and explained about the wine (bottles of red were out, but they had to ask for the white, which was still on the chill). Once I was behind my little greeter table, I was quite comfortable, and would have been happy to stay there until I left. But my boss arrived, schmoozed some clients a bit, and came by to check who hadn't arrived, declared they wouldn't be there, and pointed me to a seat between two clients' wives.
Oy. Socializing.
I survived. More than that, I was hailed as the organizer of the event! And both big bosses thanked me for all my hard work. (awww...)
When I felt done, and thought everyone was comfortable with the scenario, I excused myself to my boss, who gave some final instructions, and I left.
The weight of the world was off my shoulders.
Next day, at work, my boss offers me a gift card to this restaurant. Apparently they made a deal to get 2 or 3 gift cards, since we were giving them HUGE business, and everyone felt I earned one of them.
I'm very grateful for that. It is a great restaurant for Brett - a Brazilian steakhouse where the meat just keeps coming. But I don't eat red meat, so $50 a plate is too much for me to spend on a salad bar and a couple pieces of chicken. Now, I get to take him to a fancy restaurant that I would never go to otherwise!
I'm so excited.
We have reservations for this weekend.
He just got *another* 100% on his last class, so we're celebrating that.
And Also? It will be the 1 1/2 year anniversary of the day we met. AWWW!
05 October, 2013
The Agony And The Ecstacy
I'm trying to be better about blogging weekly - or close to it.
This week? Anxiety. That's what's on tap.
There's this huge event on Sunday, and I have to go.
And it doesn't involve my people.
But I've been doing most of the planning and organizing.
It's for work, so I'm paid.
It's for work, so I have to be professional and polite - as compared to casual and normal.
Now, I can'thonestly say I suffer from some kind of "social anxiety disorder". I'm not afraid of people. I don't avoid touching, or avoid crowds. I won't end up curled in a ball under a table from fright. I'm just not social.
Oh, I *can* be. I'm a P.K. (Pastor's Kid) I'm used to putting on my Sunday manners in front of strangers. I dress up well, and you can even take me out!
I've come to realize, though, that I don't like it.
No...stronger than that, just not to a diagnose-able level...
It stresses me out beforehand. It's emotionally exhausting during.
Even parties held by people I know - I tend to change my mind 19 times before going, thinking how much I'd rather stay home and read a book. Sometimes I go, sometimes I skip it.
I can't skip this one. I can't even tell my boss that it bothers me, because he's been trying to get more of these clients to contact me directly, so I know it's important that they put a face to a name, associate a person with the email, etc.
Here's the deal:
Me, a half-dozen coworkers I know, 3 or 4 employees I've literally never seen, and 70-ish clients and potential clients. A fancy (VERY) restaurant. They will all be coming over from a conference. A pretty important crowd.
I'm not worried I'll embarrass the firm or anything, and I actually half-hope that next week my boss will tell me how impressed he (or everyone else) was. I just don't like hanging with people I don't know or care about.
Sigh.
That's my vent. Now for the good news:
BRETT'S COMING! Oh, not to the dinner. At $50 a plate, I'm not high enough on the totem pole to bring my S.O...although he's much better in social situations. He may not like them, but he does well talking to strangers while I just linger back. I will happily pretend to be his arm-candy.
But he's here this weekend. He has a calming effect on me. He's just so matter-of-fact about everything. Easy-going. Logical. By the time he leaves on Sunday afternoon, I know I'll be ready to take on the old men in suits!
This week? Anxiety. That's what's on tap.
There's this huge event on Sunday, and I have to go.
And it doesn't involve my people.
But I've been doing most of the planning and organizing.
It's for work, so I'm paid.
It's for work, so I have to be professional and polite - as compared to casual and normal.
Now, I can'thonestly say I suffer from some kind of "social anxiety disorder". I'm not afraid of people. I don't avoid touching, or avoid crowds. I won't end up curled in a ball under a table from fright. I'm just not social.
Oh, I *can* be. I'm a P.K. (Pastor's Kid) I'm used to putting on my Sunday manners in front of strangers. I dress up well, and you can even take me out!
I've come to realize, though, that I don't like it.
No...stronger than that, just not to a diagnose-able level...
It stresses me out beforehand. It's emotionally exhausting during.
Even parties held by people I know - I tend to change my mind 19 times before going, thinking how much I'd rather stay home and read a book. Sometimes I go, sometimes I skip it.
I can't skip this one. I can't even tell my boss that it bothers me, because he's been trying to get more of these clients to contact me directly, so I know it's important that they put a face to a name, associate a person with the email, etc.
Here's the deal:
Me, a half-dozen coworkers I know, 3 or 4 employees I've literally never seen, and 70-ish clients and potential clients. A fancy (VERY) restaurant. They will all be coming over from a conference. A pretty important crowd.
I'm not worried I'll embarrass the firm or anything, and I actually half-hope that next week my boss will tell me how impressed he (or everyone else) was. I just don't like hanging with people I don't know or care about.
Sigh.
That's my vent. Now for the good news:
BRETT'S COMING! Oh, not to the dinner. At $50 a plate, I'm not high enough on the totem pole to bring my S.O...although he's much better in social situations. He may not like them, but he does well talking to strangers while I just linger back. I will happily pretend to be his arm-candy.
But he's here this weekend. He has a calming effect on me. He's just so matter-of-fact about everything. Easy-going. Logical. By the time he leaves on Sunday afternoon, I know I'll be ready to take on the old men in suits!
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