I lost my balance and nearly slipped in the shower this morning, which led me down a train of thought something like this:
If I fell in this tiny shower, I would fall out of the shower and knock my head on something. If I was knocked unconscious, or lay bleeding to death on my bathroom floor, how long would it take anyone to notice?
See, being single and living alone, I consider these things often. I’m totally comfortable thinking/talking about death – some might even say “cavalier” – not in a morbid or gory sense but in a death-is-a-fact-of-life sense. If you are not comfortable with the subject of death, maybe this post is not for you. …See you tomorrow!
Anyway, I played out my train of thought this morning:
They weren’t expecting me on time at work today because I was taking my money pit of a car to the garage first thing, and had left the message that I’d just call today when I knew how long I’d be. So... what, would they try calling me at noon, or when? We’re pretty relaxed at work about a person’s time away from the office at this time of year. Maybe I’d get a text late in the day instead, or maybe everyone would just think that someone else had checked in with me! Depends how busy the day is. So it’s not inconceivable that I could be lying on my bathroom floor bleeding to death until tomorrow morning, and even then, late enough in the morning for people to wonder why I hadn’t called!
Then I remembered I have dinner plans tonight, with the same person who is my emergency contact, as it happens. So if I was non-responsive to her texts during the day about time, pizza toppings, etc., she would probably actually come by the house and peer in some windows, or even – because she’s that kind of go-getter – talk to my neighbor about getting into the house. That would be much better, because if the two of them discovered me, at least it would be two women who know me reasonably well who would discover my naked, battered body…and the shower still on, running water everywhere! (Important, because they could turn off the water and discreetly cover me up until paramedics/coroner arrived.)
I run these scenarios a lot. Anytime I go on a trip – road-trip question: Who would know if I was in a fatal car accident lying literally dead in a ditch somewhere? Air-trip question: Who would the airlines notify if my plane went down? Or just at home – I wake up coughing and take a coughdrop, then what if I choke to death in my sleep – who would know? I am forever breaking glasses (I bought two sets of wine glasses just to have extras) – what if I couldn’t stem the bleeding, or passed out from it before calling 911, and bled to death on the kitchen floor?
…and somehow it seems odd to me when others think I’m being morbid. I once told my mom about the train of thought when I flew out to visit them, and she gave her nervous laugh and said something mother-y about my dark mind. I told my sister I want her to read Psalm 19 at my funeral – because I do! – and she still hasn’t responded. It’s a compliment, because she has a great voice for reading aloud, but maybe it’s just too weird for her to think of her little sister’s death…and I guess being asked to read at someone’s funeral isn’t the same kind of compliment as being asked to be a bridesmaid at their wedding!
I really don’t know where I’m going with this. I'm not sorry to have to think like this; I'm not wishing for a change in my single-status so that someone else could think of these things - I'm happy being single, and that's the truth! I guess it's just one of those things that make me wonder... and if no one else thinks like this, maybe it's one of those things that raise my freak flag, too. Hmm...
So I’ll just close with a very good quote from a very wise man: “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not.”
12 January, 2012
11 January, 2012
Something's Gotta Change
More like "Everything's Gotta Change"
I’ve lived here longer than I’ve lived anywhere. Obviously I like it, or I wouldn’t have stayed. Usually I move every few years. I’m getting itchy feet. Does that happen to you? And I’m ready for a major move, not within the same region. I did move about 4 years ago, but just locally, a little closer to work and my social life (such as it is). I have two friends out west who I would love to be closer to, both in locations I've never inhabited. (Moving back to a previous home is like re-uniting after a break-up. We broke up. It's done. Move on.) One of these friends is actively trying to get me there, the other simply hinted when I visited that she was showing me how much fun we would have if I lived there. I’m so ready.
The last time I made a big move, the economy was better, and I was young and carefree. I just packed up my car and called from the road to say, “I’ll call ya when I stop”. And I started life anew in a new place. ...looking back, it was surprising how many people thought I was moving because of them, instead of because of something within myself... It all worked out then, but nowadays I’m a little cautious about the whole moving-without-a-job-lined-up thing. …and I have more stuff, so the move won’t be as simple.
But I’m SO dissatisfied right now. Reconnecting with old friends has at least given my social life a little uplift, but I’m dissatisfied with my current domicile, my job, and my church. The homefront may improve as I get into my “organization resolution”, but the house itself is part of the problem. I’ve known for some time that I need to seek a new place of worship, too. That will be hard, because I love the people and have some good friendships there. Not to mention I’m “involved” there. I’m just not being fed spiritually. And my job. Well, it would be great to do something I love, but in the meantime I’m in a dead-end job that I – okay, I like what I do, but I can’t live on the meager salary forever!
So. Change.
We’re heading into the Year of the Dragon, folks! A year for celebrations and big events – lots to do, lots to love, and lots of hard work to maintain any gains made in the year. I’m all for it! Yeeha! Bring it on! …but oh, I could use some help with the little details.
Okay. That’s it.
I hereby harness the energy of the coming dragon (on the 23rd ya’ll). Wait. Two weeks until he arrives? I guess I will just make my plans and watch to see which direction the energy emanates from.
Okay. In this brief interim I will have to keep looking ahead just to keep my head above water, because frankly, I’m floundering.
I’ve lived here longer than I’ve lived anywhere. Obviously I like it, or I wouldn’t have stayed. Usually I move every few years. I’m getting itchy feet. Does that happen to you? And I’m ready for a major move, not within the same region. I did move about 4 years ago, but just locally, a little closer to work and my social life (such as it is). I have two friends out west who I would love to be closer to, both in locations I've never inhabited. (Moving back to a previous home is like re-uniting after a break-up. We broke up. It's done. Move on.) One of these friends is actively trying to get me there, the other simply hinted when I visited that she was showing me how much fun we would have if I lived there. I’m so ready.
The last time I made a big move, the economy was better, and I was young and carefree. I just packed up my car and called from the road to say, “I’ll call ya when I stop”. And I started life anew in a new place. ...looking back, it was surprising how many people thought I was moving because of them, instead of because of something within myself... It all worked out then, but nowadays I’m a little cautious about the whole moving-without-a-job-lined-up thing. …and I have more stuff, so the move won’t be as simple.
But I’m SO dissatisfied right now. Reconnecting with old friends has at least given my social life a little uplift, but I’m dissatisfied with my current domicile, my job, and my church. The homefront may improve as I get into my “organization resolution”, but the house itself is part of the problem. I’ve known for some time that I need to seek a new place of worship, too. That will be hard, because I love the people and have some good friendships there. Not to mention I’m “involved” there. I’m just not being fed spiritually. And my job. Well, it would be great to do something I love, but in the meantime I’m in a dead-end job that I – okay, I like what I do, but I can’t live on the meager salary forever!
So. Change.
We’re heading into the Year of the Dragon, folks! A year for celebrations and big events – lots to do, lots to love, and lots of hard work to maintain any gains made in the year. I’m all for it! Yeeha! Bring it on! …but oh, I could use some help with the little details.
Okay. That’s it.
I hereby harness the energy of the coming dragon (on the 23rd ya’ll). Wait. Two weeks until he arrives? I guess I will just make my plans and watch to see which direction the energy emanates from.
Okay. In this brief interim I will have to keep looking ahead just to keep my head above water, because frankly, I’m floundering.
09 January, 2012
Star Wars Anticipation
So we all know that George Lucas is re-releasing all of Star Wars - in 3D this time - starting this year, with Episode I: The Phantom Menace. (btw, what do you think of that? Leave 'em as-is? Looking forward to it? Too much?)
Generally, I'm not a big fan of 3D, but there are certain sequences I'm DYING to see!
The original- Star Wars: A New Hope - was the first live-action movie I ever saw on the big screen. All I remember is that the Battle of Yavin (the fight on the Death Star as I knew it then) made me dizzy. I left the cinema feeling like I'd been on a roller-coaster! You better believe my adult self is looking forward to that in 3D!
But that's a long way off, since he's going chronologically. >sigh< For now, I'm watching Phantom Menace like it's my job. I want to know exactly what I'm looking forward to. Whether you like the podrace or not, it's the prequel verson of the Battle of Yavin (rollercoaster-wise), and should come out well.
I'm even going into the extras, because you never know what deleted scenes our Mr. Lucas may decide need reinstating! An unpredictable genius is George, and he can do what he wants because it is, after all, his story!
...really, I'm not obsessive-compulsive. Compulsive maybe, or maybe occasionally obsessive, but really, not both together!
Generally, I'm not a big fan of 3D, but there are certain sequences I'm DYING to see!
The original- Star Wars: A New Hope - was the first live-action movie I ever saw on the big screen. All I remember is that the Battle of Yavin (the fight on the Death Star as I knew it then) made me dizzy. I left the cinema feeling like I'd been on a roller-coaster! You better believe my adult self is looking forward to that in 3D!
But that's a long way off, since he's going chronologically. >sigh< For now, I'm watching Phantom Menace like it's my job. I want to know exactly what I'm looking forward to. Whether you like the podrace or not, it's the prequel verson of the Battle of Yavin (rollercoaster-wise), and should come out well.
I'm even going into the extras, because you never know what deleted scenes our Mr. Lucas may decide need reinstating! An unpredictable genius is George, and he can do what he wants because it is, after all, his story!
...really, I'm not obsessive-compulsive. Compulsive maybe, or maybe occasionally obsessive, but really, not both together!
06 January, 2012
Nothing "Nerdy" About Fitness
Gather ‘round, New Years Resolutioners! I’m going to help you keep your resolutions this year!
At the gym this morning, I heard a 50-something, heavy-set guy complaining to his trainer about not losing weight. There were so many things I wanted to say, but it wasn’t my conversation. I know there are a lot – a LOT – of people who are going to give the whole weight-loss, fitness thing a go at this beginning of the year…Indeed I adjust my workout schedule in January to avoid the sudden crowds, which will inevitably thin out within a month. So this poor man’s dilemma inspired me – or maybe the trainer’s lack of insight inspired me – to share my experience.
No, don’t worry. I’m not self-indulgent enough to give a “my story” blow-by-blow. Just some hopefully helpful thoughts that you might not be thinking of as you embark on your industrious endeavors.
1. Your poundage WILL plateau. Don’t get discouraged! The dude at the gym was complaining that, although he was working out a lot, and had lost weight, his poundage was not dropping anymore. I mentioned a few days ago that I lost weight through a new program that will be available in the spring. This program used a special scale for weigh-ins that tracked things like fat % and pounds, and muscle % and pounds, and other things like metabolic age and BMI (but I’ve actually had a trainer tell me that once you are fit, don’t pay attention to the BMI, because as you build muscle your BMI will rise). Early on, after 3 or 4 weeks of weight-loss, my pounds didn’t budge for 3 solid weeks. It was annoying. HOWEVER, that lovely scale told me that my muscle mass was increasing and the fat was decreasing. YEEHA!
My suggestion? Take measurements. I still do 2 ab-measurements – one at belly-button, and one about 2 inches below. And shop for clothes when you notice your things start fitting loosely.
Break away from the scale!
My weight hit a plateau again later, before settling into its new range. But I’m still in smaller sizes than I used to wear!
2. Change up your workout. I don’t mean just weights one day, cardio the next, and so on in a continuouse cycle. If your usual cardio workout is a half-hour on the elliptical, take a week on a cycle instead, then go back to what you like and step it up a level. Trying new things works different muscles and shakes up your whole system. I have a coworker who runs several miles 3 or 4 times a week, but doesn’t lose a pound. He hasn’t altered his workout in years, and his body is just used to it. When I need a kick-start, I go to spin classes at my gym. I might only be regular at them for a couple weeks, but it helps.
All this is very non-technical. I have no expertise in training or physical fitness, just my own experience. And that brings me to observation number three:
3. No amount of exercise will off-set a bad diet. By all means, eat that cake at your nephew’s birthday party; just don’t eat the whole thing. It’s true that a high-protein, high-fiber diet will be more filling and less fattening than a high-sugar, high-carb, high-fat diet. Try it: for one week have protein for breakfast instead of that bowl of cereal. Amazing. And really, I don’t deprive myself. I like my food and my drink. It’s tough, but keep your goal in mind. Which brings me to a final thought:
4. If you’ve made a resolution to lose weight/get fit you did so for a reason. Try to remember that reason. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip-up on the diet, or backslide on the exercise. As far as exercise, something is better than nothing. If you’re not “in the mood”, just go for a walk – it gets you moving at least.
So go to it! Let 2012 be the year you achieve your resolution!
At the gym this morning, I heard a 50-something, heavy-set guy complaining to his trainer about not losing weight. There were so many things I wanted to say, but it wasn’t my conversation. I know there are a lot – a LOT – of people who are going to give the whole weight-loss, fitness thing a go at this beginning of the year…Indeed I adjust my workout schedule in January to avoid the sudden crowds, which will inevitably thin out within a month. So this poor man’s dilemma inspired me – or maybe the trainer’s lack of insight inspired me – to share my experience.
No, don’t worry. I’m not self-indulgent enough to give a “my story” blow-by-blow. Just some hopefully helpful thoughts that you might not be thinking of as you embark on your industrious endeavors.
1. Your poundage WILL plateau. Don’t get discouraged! The dude at the gym was complaining that, although he was working out a lot, and had lost weight, his poundage was not dropping anymore. I mentioned a few days ago that I lost weight through a new program that will be available in the spring. This program used a special scale for weigh-ins that tracked things like fat % and pounds, and muscle % and pounds, and other things like metabolic age and BMI (but I’ve actually had a trainer tell me that once you are fit, don’t pay attention to the BMI, because as you build muscle your BMI will rise). Early on, after 3 or 4 weeks of weight-loss, my pounds didn’t budge for 3 solid weeks. It was annoying. HOWEVER, that lovely scale told me that my muscle mass was increasing and the fat was decreasing. YEEHA!
My suggestion? Take measurements. I still do 2 ab-measurements – one at belly-button, and one about 2 inches below. And shop for clothes when you notice your things start fitting loosely.
Break away from the scale!
My weight hit a plateau again later, before settling into its new range. But I’m still in smaller sizes than I used to wear!
2. Change up your workout. I don’t mean just weights one day, cardio the next, and so on in a continuouse cycle. If your usual cardio workout is a half-hour on the elliptical, take a week on a cycle instead, then go back to what you like and step it up a level. Trying new things works different muscles and shakes up your whole system. I have a coworker who runs several miles 3 or 4 times a week, but doesn’t lose a pound. He hasn’t altered his workout in years, and his body is just used to it. When I need a kick-start, I go to spin classes at my gym. I might only be regular at them for a couple weeks, but it helps.
All this is very non-technical. I have no expertise in training or physical fitness, just my own experience. And that brings me to observation number three:
3. No amount of exercise will off-set a bad diet. By all means, eat that cake at your nephew’s birthday party; just don’t eat the whole thing. It’s true that a high-protein, high-fiber diet will be more filling and less fattening than a high-sugar, high-carb, high-fat diet. Try it: for one week have protein for breakfast instead of that bowl of cereal. Amazing. And really, I don’t deprive myself. I like my food and my drink. It’s tough, but keep your goal in mind. Which brings me to a final thought:
4. If you’ve made a resolution to lose weight/get fit you did so for a reason. Try to remember that reason. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip-up on the diet, or backslide on the exercise. As far as exercise, something is better than nothing. If you’re not “in the mood”, just go for a walk – it gets you moving at least.
So go to it! Let 2012 be the year you achieve your resolution!
05 January, 2012
Time's a-wasting!
Well, my work computer won't allow me to access my home drive, so I can't do any real work until I hear back from our IT guys. Apparently everyone with Vista is screwed up, so it may be a while.
However...I have internet access, so might as well do some blogging!
I'm seriously considering taking personal time this afternoon. "J Edgar" has been reduced to one showing, at 1:00. I've heard good things about it, and remember being interested based on the previews.
...I have to say, I do like that I can take personal time for random crap. Not always, but if there's not a lot happening at work, and I've got the time, nobody fusses over my motives for using it. Do you save "vacation time" for "vacations"? Or, like me, do you sometimes use the time for more capricious pursuits?
Well, for now I'm off to play voyeur in the blogosphere. We'll see how my computer acts around noon.
However...I have internet access, so might as well do some blogging!
I'm seriously considering taking personal time this afternoon. "J Edgar" has been reduced to one showing, at 1:00. I've heard good things about it, and remember being interested based on the previews.
...I have to say, I do like that I can take personal time for random crap. Not always, but if there's not a lot happening at work, and I've got the time, nobody fusses over my motives for using it. Do you save "vacation time" for "vacations"? Or, like me, do you sometimes use the time for more capricious pursuits?
Well, for now I'm off to play voyeur in the blogosphere. We'll see how my computer acts around noon.
tech-toys
I got a new phone yesterday. My first Smartphone…I know a nerd without a smartphone, weird, right? Well, I have one.
Now I have techno-anxiety about learning all about it before it becomes obsolete! And what Apps should I get or avoid? I want a GPS, and probably Pandora, and maybe Angry Birds – based on referral by my sister and her 10yo son…
Any ideas? Good/useful apps to have? Stupid ones to avoid?
And I still have to get my pictures off my old phone. I have a great Star Wars photo – with me in it – that was my wallpaper and I really want to keep that. If I don’t get those pics transferred within a day or two, I know I never will. I always have to strike while the iron is hot.
So my new toy. I feel it’s too good for me. I’ll have to smack it around a little and show it who’s boss!
Now I have techno-anxiety about learning all about it before it becomes obsolete! And what Apps should I get or avoid? I want a GPS, and probably Pandora, and maybe Angry Birds – based on referral by my sister and her 10yo son…
Any ideas? Good/useful apps to have? Stupid ones to avoid?
And I still have to get my pictures off my old phone. I have a great Star Wars photo – with me in it – that was my wallpaper and I really want to keep that. If I don’t get those pics transferred within a day or two, I know I never will. I always have to strike while the iron is hot.
So my new toy. I feel it’s too good for me. I’ll have to smack it around a little and show it who’s boss!
03 January, 2012
Throes of Nerd-Rage
…that was a phrase used in a text to me from a friend agonizing over the lack of help he got from tech-support when his computer crashed. I love that: “throes of nerd-rage” or even just “nerd-rage”. I think we should add that to the modern lexicon.
And tech-non-support. You've been there, right? There’s a program I have to use at work, and the folks who run that system re-organized last year, and suddenly their previously decent tech-support team was clueless. I think it was out-sourced. Anyway, here’s an example of a typical call: (the actual subjects have been altered so this doesn’t get all boring and technical.)
Me: I’m looking at these snowballs and the system won’t let me turn them into ice-cream.
TS: There’s a button at the top of the screen you can click that says “ice-cream”. Have you tried that?
Me: That button is greyed out. I need some other way to turn these snowballs into ice-cream.
Tech-Support: What’s the reference number?
Me: 2-12345
TS: Okay I’m looking at those snowballs. Yep you’re right. The button is greyed out.
Me: So what can we do to turn them into ice-cream?
TS: You’re going to have to call customer service. I can’t do anything with the button greyed out.
Me: But I’m not a customer. I’m an operator. That’s why I’m calling you.
TS: Customer service can help you with this.
Me: …
TS: Do you have their number?
Me: yes. [click]
Seriously, what is the point of tech-support who can’t do anything different from what I can already do? Nerd-rage indeed.
And tech-non-support. You've been there, right? There’s a program I have to use at work, and the folks who run that system re-organized last year, and suddenly their previously decent tech-support team was clueless. I think it was out-sourced. Anyway, here’s an example of a typical call: (the actual subjects have been altered so this doesn’t get all boring and technical.)
Me: I’m looking at these snowballs and the system won’t let me turn them into ice-cream.
TS: There’s a button at the top of the screen you can click that says “ice-cream”. Have you tried that?
Me: That button is greyed out. I need some other way to turn these snowballs into ice-cream.
Tech-Support: What’s the reference number?
Me: 2-12345
TS: Okay I’m looking at those snowballs. Yep you’re right. The button is greyed out.
Me: So what can we do to turn them into ice-cream?
TS: You’re going to have to call customer service. I can’t do anything with the button greyed out.
Me: But I’m not a customer. I’m an operator. That’s why I’m calling you.
TS: Customer service can help you with this.
Me: …
TS: Do you have their number?
Me: yes. [click]
Seriously, what is the point of tech-support who can’t do anything different from what I can already do? Nerd-rage indeed.
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