10 April, 2016

A break from A to Z - random rant

I hadn't planned to post today. This 6-days-a-week writing and commenting on other blogs is fun, but it's nice to get a break. But something's been weighing on me, and I want to throw it to the cosmos. (assuming most of you are taking Sunday off, too.)

I was recently diagnosed "high cardiovascular risk". My first instinct was denial: This can't happen to me!
I haven't eaten red meat since 8th grade.
I eat 4-5 servings of fruits and veggies daily. Usually more.
I exercise every day.
My overall diet is good enough to meet my doctor's approval.

Yet, my blood test came up "high risk". What the Hell, universe? I was so mad. I eat right, I exercise, what am I doing it for? If I'm going to have a heart attack anyway, I might as well eat crap and be a slug all the time!

After a few days of feeling cheated, I remembered: I have more energy when I exercise regularly. I don't LIKE crap food - grease tastes like grease in my mouth, and sugar gives me bad side effects. So I might as well keep eating and exercising as I do.

Mind you, I hadn't talked with my doctor about the blood test yet. I have an "e-chart" where the blood test results automatically showed up and I got a message that I could look at them... five days before my follow-up appointment. I was just bargaining with myself.

I tried to think of what, precisely, in my life I could change to help myself. Reduce stress - sure. Stop shouting at traffic, meditate more. Try to pay attention to stress and just breathe. I can do that. I could probably cut back on alcohol and caffeine, too.

When I met with my doctor, he was not concerned about it at all. Whatever it was that showed in the blood test is not affected by diet and exercise. "You should probably start taking CoQ10. I've had several patients reduce their risk just doing that." 

So that's it. I've accepted it. I'm suddenly so old that I'm taking supplements to help prevent heart attack. 

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Acceptance. I just grieved for...what? The myth of my health? The symbolic loss of my youth? 
No conclusion. Just venting my mind.

6 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear it. I'm also an overall healthy person, and I look at it this way: imagine what might have happened if you hadn't taken care of your health? You might have had a major health event if you didn't take care of yourself.

    Go for the supplement. I take a handful every single night as well...fish oil (I find it helps my mood), probiotics and vitamin D (I am an indoor person). Hopefully it will help. But you've probably already saved your life or your quality of life with all the care you take.

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  2. Aw, thanks! Fish oil for mood, huh? I've done the St. John's Wort thing, but got away from it.

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  3. I wasn't worried, but if something does happen to you, I'm keeping your heart (diseased or not) in a shoebox on the closet shelf. Right next to my grandmother's quilts.

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    1. You are so strange. Maybe, get it bronzed first or something?

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  4. I've heard it's in the genes, no matter how healthful your lifestyle, Red. But, I'm with you, I do eat well and I refuse to give up my coffee in the morning (wouldn't drink it without the half & half, though) and my wine with dinner. Writing A-Z posts daily keeps me at my computer far longer than I healthfully need to be. I need to step away and take long walks, but, then I might not finish my daily quota of reading and writing. OK -- CoQ10. Maybe I'll try that. Meanwhile, good your doctor is not concerned, and I raise a glass to your good health.

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    1. Thank you! I'll raise a glass to yours, too!

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I enjoy a good debate. Feel free to shake things up. Tell me I'm wrong. Ask me why I have such a weird opinion. ...or, just laugh and tell how this relates to you and your life.