United Front - #AtoZChallenge

I kicked Bartholomew's foot as he lay, blinking his eyes open. "Hey," I whispered, "Here comes Judas."  No one had seen him since the middle of our Passover meal. We'd left for the garden later, but it seemed he'd found us now. Now Jesus was trying to get us all to wake up from our snoozing, but Bartholomew was always a heavy sleeper.

Just as Bartholomew sat up, and asked, "Who's that coming with him?" Jesus turned and I could swear I heard him say, "Here comes my betrayer." Peter, who was standing next to Jesus, must have heard the same thing because he turned to look at Him in horror. 

As Judas and those with him passed under the shadows of the trees, I saw their clubs and swords. We were all on our feet now, alert but confused. Judas? Our friend, surrounded by this mob? 

But at a motion from Judas, the mob stopped and he stepped closer. He looked around at us with a tight-lipped smile, then crossed to Jesus and gave him a kiss. "Greetings, Rabbi!" he said. It would all have been perfectly normal, but for the crowd around him. One of the men in front - a temple guard, to guess the uniform - seized Jesus. 

It was chaos. I stumbled over Bartholomew as he got to his feet. The guard led Jesus away while the mob held us back. I saw a determined look in Judas' eye as he turned to follow the guard. Then he was gone. We were all shouting, cursing Judas for bringing this about. Didn't he realize the danger? 

Then I remembered a conversation I'd had with Judas one day about the coming "second kingdom". The Messiah was to usher it in, and didn't we all believe Jesus to be the Messiah? Judas and I were both anxious for this new kingdom but he seemed... overly passionate, maybe volatile. He was frustrated that Jesus wasn't doing enough. 

Lost in thought, I looked up when I heard James confronting one of the other disciples. "No, we can't all go. How would that look?" All? I counted heads - only nine of us were here. Judas was gone, of course, and it looked like John and Peter had followed the crowd back into Jerusalem. James looked to Andrew for support.

"James is right," Andrew said, ever the voice of reason. "We can't help him if we get arrested, too. We should go back to the upper room. John or Peter will be able to get word to us there."

On our way back through town, Thomas walked next me. "Simon - you were closer to Judas than I was. What was he up to? What's his plan?"

"I have no idea," I confessed. "I wish I did." He'd been our friend! And Thomas was right. I had been close with him. I'd trusted him! We all had. I had to hope he had a plan.

It was late. We'd all been drinking wine with the Passover meal. We were all tired, but apart from our recent light dozing in the garden, none of us would get any sleep this night. Back in the upper room, some reclined at the tables abandoned after supper, but more of us were agitated - pacing, arguing, wondering. It was pointless. The night drew on, with no word from John or Peter. We were in a panic, while trying not to panic. We knew Judas. Jesus knew Judas. Surely it would all be okay. But why hadn't Peter or John sent any kind of message? Or had they been taken prisoner, too? Were we next? James began saying something about "a united front". We weren't fighters, but we all had to be strong and stand together, whatever happened.

The stars were fading and the sky was lightening to grey when there came a pounding on the door. We all froze. "Let me in!" came the cry. It was Judas' voice. I was about to lunge for the door, but James was standing there and raised a hand. Andrew nodded and mouthed to the rest of us, "United."

James answered him through the door, "What's happened?"

"Let me in! I'll tell you everything!" James anchored his hand over the latch on the door, covering it. What if that mob from the garden was standing behind him in the hall?

"Where is Jesus?"

"It wasn't supposed to happen this way!" Judas sounded worried and apologetic.

"What way?" Thomas called out to him.

I heard a weight against the door and guessed that Judas had leaned his head against it. We all heard a shuddering inhale and exchanged looks. Was he crying? But Andrew reminded us to stay united. We needed more information.

Now Judas' voice came through the door, full of sorrow, muffled, as if reasoning to himself. "He's supposed to usher in the new kingdom. This should've worked. He wasn't doing anything! He wasn't -" Then his voice came through loud and clear. "I did this for us. He could have overcome them, but he didn't!"

I groaned. I knew he was passionate about the new kingdom, but this? A tight knot formed in my stomach. I could feel bile rising as I guessed what the next bombshell would be. We were all clustered around the door now. "Judas," I said. We were friends. He trusted me. "What. Have you. Done."

A shaky sob came through and I heard a weight hit the door - his hand? His head? "I didn't - I can't - They want to crucify him," the pronouncement came out weakly. Judas was just as exhausted as the rest of us, I realized. I wanted to let him in to join us, but we had to stay united until we knew everything.

Inside the room, silence reigned. I saw Bartholomew crouch down and breathe deeply, steadying himself; Philip and the other James collapsed onto seats. Crucifixion was a Roman punishment. How could this be? I bolstered myself with the hope that this could never happen. The priests and pharisees who were against Jesus - and us - didn't have enough power to make that happen.

Judas was still making excuses through the door in a small voice. "I don't know how. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You have to believe me." He jiggled the door, but James held the lock fast. Andrew looked around at all of us, not speaking. We had to stay united.

In silence, he went around the room, checking each man's thoughts - should we let the traitor in, or was he out? We were split. Some wanted to let him in - hadn't Jesus taught us to forgive? Some would never trust him again. Thomas and Bartholomew shrugged their ambivalence. Bartholomew looked like he might be sick all over the floor from the pressure. 

It took another 20 minutes of whispered debate before we decided. James opened the door, but Judas was gone. We checked the hall and the lower floor. We looked out the windows into the early dawn, but there was no sign. James locked the door again. Until we had some word from Peter or John, we all agreed this was the safest place to stay.

It wasn't until four days later, after the miracle at the tomb, that we relaxed enough to go out and search for Judas. His body was found hanging in a tree, being feasted on by carrion birds.

Reference: Judas' infamous betrayal of Jesus is told in the book of  Matthew, chapter 26, verses 45-50, and his death is listed in Matthew, chapter 27, verses 3-5. He was a friend and one of the tight-knit group of disciples. That's why I wanted to tell this from the perspective of one of the disciples who'd known him so well. Betrayal only hurts when it comes from someone we trust. If an enemy betrays us, is it even betrayal?