Today I have been in contact with several friends and contacts from Beijing, and it got me thinking about how long it took to connect with these people.
I've lived in Vietnam for 2 weeks (not counting the short trip when we basically found our apartment and started navigating the neighborhood). I already have four expat friends, and three Vietnamese friends - by this, I am counting people whose name I know and with whom I have held multiple legitimate conversations longer than "Good morning" or "how much is that".
When we moved to Beijing, we knew one expat and had been in touch with a few Chinese nationals who were helping get us situated. Of those initial contacts, I am really only still in touch with two. The people I've been talking to in Beijing today include:
- The mother of the little girl I tutored. And the little girl.
- My primary boss, whom I love and can't praise highly enough.
- A contact at one of my very last jobs, sweet girl, although not a close friend.
1. Actually, the mother's contact information came up on my phone, but she was letting her daughter talk to me. So sweet. I met this woman after we had lived in Beijing for a little over two months. Their family became good friends with us, treating us to dinner several times, and helping us with our Beijing apartment search this past winter. (Which culminated in our moving to a different country. OOPS!)
2. A month or two after I met (1.), while we were still out of work, the expat friend we knew before moving to Beijing connected me with this person, knowing she needed someone to be an on-screen face for the English language books and videos she was trying to produce. She was a great boss, and I consider her a friend. I hope to continue working with her from here.
3. This was a business contact. I took the job in the spring, when we thought we'd be moving later in the summer, and haven't been paid for my latest work. I reached out to check on that.
So, timelines. Two of my closest work connections happened after I had lived in Beijing for over 2 months. We've only been in Vietnam 2 weeks. I need to chill.
Oh, chill about what? Didn't I mention that? This business idea of mine feels like it's stagnating - but with perspective, I realize that I only made my intentions public here days ago. Literally days ago. I need to cut myself some slack.
What are you being too hard on yourself about? Lean back, take a deep breath and consider the entire picture.