Today I have been in contact with several friends and contacts from Beijing, and it got me thinking about how long it took to connect with these people.
I've lived in Vietnam for 2 weeks (not counting the short trip when we basically found our apartment and started navigating the neighborhood). I already have four expat friends, and three Vietnamese friends - by this, I am counting people whose name I know and with whom I have held multiple legitimate conversations longer than "Good morning" or "how much is that".
Two weeks.
When we moved to Beijing, we knew one expat and had been in touch with a few Chinese nationals who were helping get us situated. Of those initial contacts, I am really only still in touch with two. The people I've been talking to in Beijing today include:
- The mother of the little girl I tutored. And the little girl.
- My primary boss, whom I love and can't praise highly enough.
- A contact at one of my very last jobs, sweet girl, although not a close friend.
1. Actually, the mother's contact information came up on my phone, but she was letting her daughter talk to me. So sweet. I met this woman after we had lived in Beijing for a little over two months. Their family became good friends with us, treating us to dinner several times, and helping us with our Beijing apartment search this past winter. (Which culminated in our moving to a different country. OOPS!)
2. A month or two after I met (1.), while we were still out of work, the expat friend we knew before moving to Beijing connected me with this person, knowing she needed someone to be an on-screen face for the English language books and videos she was trying to produce. She was a great boss, and I consider her a friend. I hope to continue working with her from here.
3. This was a business contact. I took the job in the spring, when we thought we'd be moving later in the summer, and haven't been paid for my latest work. I reached out to check on that.
So, timelines. Two of my closest work connections happened after I had lived in Beijing for over 2 months. We've only been in Vietnam 2 weeks. I need to chill.
Oh, chill about what? Didn't I mention that? This business idea of mine feels like it's stagnating - but with perspective, I realize that I only made my intentions public here days ago. Literally days ago. I need to cut myself some slack.
What are you being too hard on yourself about? Lean back, take a deep breath and consider the entire picture.
Ah yes, the freak-out. I know it well. Take a deep breath. It might not help, but then again, it might.
ReplyDeleteI'm not used to not having my own income! Even after we got married, while we were living State-side I had the better paying job. In Beijing, it took a while, but for most of the last year I was making almost the same amount as my husband's net-pay.
DeleteIt is very weird for me to be in a position where even if I get work, it may not be much!
Isn't it strange how we beat ourselves up over the silliest of things? In another few months you'll be completely settled, have made heaps of new friends and contacts, will know how and where your business idea is going - and you'll be blogging about it all. I'm looking forward to following your exciting journey!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement! I'm trying to keep a better sense of perspective.
DeleteI am beating myself up about not having gone through my dearly beloved's belongings until now almost four years after his death. Time didn't make it easier. Oh the memories!!
ReplyDeleteThat must be hard. I am better at not beating myself up over the past. It's done. But that doesn't always make the present easier.
DeleteEnjoy the memories, though!