Why do I always do this to myself? I overbook myself, overcommit, run myself into the ground with no solitude for weeks, get sick of people, really annoyed, and in the sense of relief when my commitments are finished, I learn to say NO to requests for my time and energy.
That lasts a few weeks.
Then I find myself bored, or at least seeking something engaging to occupy my time, and I do it all over again. Instead of picking one thing and saying, “Yes, I’ll participate in this endeavor” and then saying no to the rest of it, I say “yes, I’ll participate in this…and this, and this…and oh you needed someone to help you with that? Sure! I’m game!”
Probably more information than anyone needs to know about me, but currently I am:
- Working two jobs (ostensibly, but not many hours at the 2nd because of…)
- In a play, running through Feb. 19
- Assistant-Directing a play which will open on March 23
- Working on my Masters’ Thesis
- Preparing for a community music concert that will be on Feb. 18
- Somehow roped into chaperoning a youth lock-in at my church, that I did NOT think would be happening this year, but is suddenly on the books for March 9-10.
Okay, so I chose both plays. I was blessed with a minor role in the one I’m acting in, which lessened my rehearsal time. That is vital because as A.D. of the other, I should really be there for all the rehearsals after this current show closes.
Okay, so due to the overlapping play schedules, I know that my thesis is on a shelf for the time being, which is frustrating but acceptable.
And okay, I understand it is pure coincidence that the three churches decided to combine and offer a concert RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of my theatre insanity, so fine, whatever.
BUT…
I’m really annoyed about being roped into this lock-in. Don’t get me wrong, I love the youth at my church, but after this same event ended last year the idea slid away and nobody mentioned it until recently. We have a new youth leader, who of course was recommended to ask me about it, and naturally I am ASSUMED to be co-chaperone! I DON’T WANT TO DO IT! Not because it wasn’t very cool and interesting last year, but because I’ve been drafted. How perverse is that? The kids love me (after all, I’m nothing but an overgrown 15yo), and I flatter myself that I’m good with them. When they brought it up again, the new kids were checking to see if I was doing it with them, if they sign up for it. But the sheer audacity of people (adults) who were unsupportive last year and who didn’t lift a finger to help me put it together, to now take it for granted that I’d be there! Never mind that for the earlier retreats this year I wasn’t even consulted or asked to chaperone. They want me when they want me, and they want me now.
...
Sorry for the vent…I didn’t know I had it in me!
What would you do? Participate, knowing that it’s a good thing, and the problem is really just the way it all came about? Would you explain the annoyance and bail? Would you make an excuse and bail? Truthfully, with all my other events chaos, I don’t know that losing a night’s sleep is a good idea…hmm…
i am the go-to guy at our church. Anything from taking the youth on an outing to fixing the office computers. For the longest time I felt that it was my duty to do whatever needed to be done, but sometimes I had to neglect my family or miss a deadline on a paper in order to do "God's work."
ReplyDeleteI learned it is OK to say no, although sometimes I forget. The people asking for favors aren't doing it on purpose and are not aware of what else we have going on unless we tell them. Push through this next month and remember to pace yourself.
Thanks for the sympathy.
DeleteIf something can get under my skin so badly that it creates resentment and ill-will, it cannot be what is right for me. I'll sort it out.
Unfortunately, I'm the kind who hates to let people down, even if the expectation is unrealistic!