Be a Winner! It's Fun!

I'm a winner! - And so are you!

Well, okay, obviously I'm a winner in the game of life because I got Brett (neener-neener), but when it comes to drawings, door-prizes, or giveaways, I never win.

...well, except once at a benefit dinner when I won 3 door prizes (and promptly shared with my dining partners). So I guess I never win unless I win big. (Which still goes for the above-mentioned win at life. HA!)

Enter the inimitable Misty, of Misty's Laws. If you've never read Misty's Laws you should. Not only because she's hilariously snarky and a total photo-ninja, but because she gives stuff away! I've entered several of her giveaways, because it's always cute useful snarky good stuff, and this time I won!

Wait, though. I didn't just win... no, I won the GRAND PRIZE! this is not her normal style of giveaway prize, either. (Read this tale from Misty's trip to Blogher for details about this prize choice.)

Dudes, I won two, count 'em TWO ...uh, feminine pleasure toys "personal massagers" vibrators. (Thanks to the generosity of the Trojan company.) My word. How cool! How surprising. How... alarming! I live with my parents! However, Misty very kindly obliged by having them sent to Brett's house so I could avoid embarrassment on the homefront.

I feel I know you well enough (aka: not at all) to share with you a few points.

A) I've never owned one of these toys.
B) (at the time I originally wrote this, before my wifi died) Brett and I have been apart long enough that the thought has crossed my mind how nice it would be to own one.
C) ...that's ONE ... I can't imagine a need for two. (teehee... especially with Brett around.)
AND THEREFORE...
D) I'm giving one away! Here it is:

I've never done a giveaway before, so bear with me.

Rules.
Rules. Gotta play to win.
I can't give it away for nothing.

Here are my rules what will make me happy:

1. Follow me on Twitter. I promise I don't Tweet much. Ask anyone. That's my first choice, but I know a lot of people don't utilize that medium, and I don't blame you!
2. If you choose not to be a twit, just follow my blog. That's always cool to see, too.
3. If you already have one or both of those bases covered, say so in a comment and express interest in the random drawing. WHICH WILL TAKE PLACE ON OCTOBER 10. (easy to remember: 10/10)

Now, I know a lot of my longest-standing followers are male, but think of what a useful gift this could be for the lady in your life: If you'll be apart for an extended period of time, you could still be keeping her satisfied!

...I guess... being a vibrator virgin and all, this is pure conjecture on my part.

All I'm saying is, this isn't a "girls only" giveaway.

Very important: Every commenter will not be automatically included, but you must let me know by comment or tweet that you are participating in order to be included.
That's it for the drawing. Have at it!
You have until October 10!

~~~
Now, you want a funny vibrator story? It's not gross or graphic, I promise. And it's short.

...still with me? You won't regret it. Here goes:

In my avocation as an actress, I was once in a drama with a director who preferred making her own pre-show announcements instead of using the recording. You know the ones, about not using a flash, and turning off your cell phones. Like that.

One night, prior to the show's start, she mis-spoke. Where she had said on previous nights "Please turn off your cell phones or set them to vibrate," this time she said, "Please turn off your cell phones and vibrators."

Brought the house down before opening curtain.
The end.

(Guess what the cast bought her for a closing-night gift? It starts with a "V".)