CAUTION: This Post has been rated PG -
for some strong language.
...because I'm pissed.
Who the HELL gave you the right to critique my weight?
(Well okay, not "you" particularly, the generic "you" meaning "people in general")
Are we as a society so accustomed to FAT that when someone is actually maintaining a healthy weight, we think they are "too thin"? ...the fuck?
(And by "we as a society", I'm curious if this is just an American phenomenon.)
AND YES I AM GOING TO USE
THE "F-WORD": FAT. No euphemisms here. We use a lot of nicer-words: "heavy", "curvy", "big". Dude, my 14yo nephew has high cholesterol and is on track for diabetes, but is he fat? No, he's a "big boy".
I know exactly what is considered the healthy weight-range for a woman of my age and height. I was just above it when I started losing weight last year. I lost 20 pounds. At that point I was still within a healthy range for myself. (I've since gained back almost half of it, and I'm fine with that, as long as I can fit my clothes.)
Co-workers could observe daily as my old clothes got baggy, and I started wearing smaller sizes. Some were supportive. Some said they wished they could do the same...while they ate subs and fries for lunch. One woman, who is clearly outside of the healthy zone for her, started cautioning me not to lose too much more weight or I'd be "too thin".
Dude, I wanted to smack the self-righteous bitch. I would have said to her "When you get off your fat ass and DO SOMETHING...and when you are eating more healthily than I am...when you are overall more healthy than I, THEN you can offer me advice." Bitch. I didn't say that, of course. I don't curse like that.
So where is this uncharacteristic-for-me rant coming from?
Today I tried on the Bridesmaid Dress again. The one that I was having altered because when it arrived in Delaware it was too tight, and when I went to the seamstress and tried it on 2 weeks ago, it was still too tight. It is a gorgeous dress, and extremely well-made. So much so that the seamstress (not a professional) was a little nervous to cut it, and recommended another woman finish the job.
Today we talked to the other seamstress, who said she could, but it would be better if we found someone who makes their living doing this. Upon returning home, I tried it on. (Don't ask me why I didn't try it on last night.) It fit.
Dudes, it needed to be let out by almost 2 inches. I'm pretty proud of myself that not only did it fit this afternoon, but I could zip it up myself. "Fitting" while having someone else help tug together the two sides of the zipper is one thing. "Fitting" with no assistance is excellent.
...so I did what everyone does when they meet a goal: I posted it on facebook.
Just like anyone, I want the kudos due me for achieving this goal. (I still have to maintain it for a few weeks, but at least I'm there.) If there's one good thing about facebook, it's the instant gratification of "like". And I got a few of those, a few positive comments, including one from a friend who was with me through the lost 20 pounds.
Then SHE struck. SHE is an old friend (I can't think of a pseudonym for her at the moment) from college who actually lives in the area. ...well, about an hour away. We finally got together last week, and she said I looked good, but again with the "don't lose any more" -
~~GRR...Why the FUCK do people think it's okay to judge my weight?!?!?! ~~
She's fat. Okay, I said it. I know, she has reasons: can't get around a lot, medications, blah-blah-blah. She even admits she's overweight. So What in Hell or Heaven or all the worlds between gives her the right to make random statements about my weight when it's not okay for me to tell her she needs to lose about half of herself?
But that's not what set me off. No. That was days ago, when I told her I was still working my way into the dress and she advised me (unsolicited) to put weight back on after the wedding.
No. When I posted that I fit the dress today, her comment?
"Good, 'cuz another 10 pounds and you'd be anorexic."
For the record, I would not. I couldn't be skin and bones if I tried. I'd ask Brett to vouch for me, since he first met me 2 days after I got here, and saw me the day after SHE did - and therefore could confirm that I've not lost noticeable weight in that time, but I'm not the kind of girl to put a guy on the spot. (Seriously Brett, not asking.) You will therefore have to trust that I am at a healthy size.
I deleted the comment. I really hope-hope-hope she asks me about it. I have tried to maintain our friendship, because I know she is not in a good way, and needs someone on her side. But she's making it difficult.
Seriously, do YOU randomly comment on people's weight? I mean, the occasional "wow you look great have you lost weight" notwithstanding?
Also seriously, is this just America, or is all the world so used to fat that normal looks thin?
...Okay. PG over. I'll go back to my G-rating. I'd apologize for all the language, which is NEVER in here (in case you're new), but I really needed to get that off my chest. Thank you!