Red Arrived in the “Brett Zone” and WAS NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN...

...seriously people, this is the Movie Whore and Red's Inner Bibliophile (I.B., here. I'm going to try to sit back and just edit). Red drove off to meet her internet fiance Brett today, and hasn't been in her right mind since. We can only assume she's in some “other” mind (or “frame of”). But we knew you'd like to know what happened, so we'll do the best we can.

(okay, I.B. again. The Movie Whore does a fine job telling this story, but she's not a reader. I know readers, and some of you out there skip to the end. Shame on you. But just so that you WON'T do that, I am over-riding the Movie Whore's instincts and editing the order of this story, by bringing the end to the top. Enjoy.)

~~~

Seriously, that was an awesome good-bye. I bet Red can't wait to see him again, just to say good-bye again! ...well, maybe not just that. And I guess more to the point she probably wishes she'd stayed there just a little bit longer.

Are these squirrels, I.B.?
No, Whore, those are Prairie Dogs.
Whatever. Rodents.

But DUDE! It sure took them long enough to get there! They should have started their day that way.

I.B.: No-no. It was just right. They had to get used to each other's presence first. And it didn't matter that they started slow. These two can't keep anything from each other. Didn't you hear them?

Yeah, yeah. They both wanted to start out by greeting the other with a kiss. Both FAILED! Sad, so sad. It would have made a better opening scene if they had. ...I should have written this script. Romance is wasted on the unromantic.

I.B.: Maybe a better scene, but think it through. If they started the way they ended, would they have had the rest of their random adventure?

Sure! You know Red loves her “random”.

I.B.: Yeah, but after 3 months of talk? It's better that they ended today this way. It's a better story. PLUS you know there will be a sequel.

~~~

(I.B. the editor back again: There, now you know it ended well. And some goobers who still skipped to the bottom will have learned their lesson! Now I'll let the Movie Whore tell it.)

First off, if this were a movie, the costumes would get about a B-. Red stuck to her guns (thankfully) and dressed as she naturally would in shorts and a tank for such a hot day. She did NOT follow Aphrodite's unsolicited advice to wear a dress. But seriously, Red? Sandals? Fail. Big time fail. Should have gone with flip-flops.

I.B.: Brett looked good, what's your complaint there, Movie Whore?

Brett did look good in his black jeans and light blue shirt that matched his eyes perfectly. (Yeah, we're onto you, Brett; that was SO not a coincidence!) But jeans? In 85-degree weather? Fail.

They both looked good, natural, like themselves, but since they both got a FAIL, that brings them both down to a B-.

I.B.: Okay, I'll go along with that logic. Tell them about the State Park Fiasco!

Yeah. They had this one all figured out until the day before when they decided to meet at a different State Park. See, Red liked the idea of meeting at a park because it's different, it's active, you get to really see what the other person is like. ...It's a good idea, really. Only because of the last minute change, Red and Brett found themselves at a state park whose nature center was not open – not such a catastrophe since it turned out to be sunny for the first time since Red got here! - but Red gets these ideas in her head, and so this "not being able to meet at the nature center" kind of threw her off.

Anyway, they started off on one of the trails, just chatting like on one of their phone calls. Boring stuff. Then they get to the puddles in the path and Red remembered that it had been raining for 3 days! Seriously, what a goober she is. After a while of both of these two nuts trying to find the dry ground on either side of the many puddles, and of Red finding guck squishing into her sandals, she finally took them off and carried them. This is what I'm saying: FLIP-FLOPS!

I.B. Hey at least there can be no pretense! She wanted to be her real, natural self and not the dress-wearing perfect Miss that Aphrodite was suggesting... and I think squishing through the mud and splattering it from your shoes onto your clothes qualifies as “real” and “natural”!

Whatever. When they got back to the parking lot, they decided to find something else to do that would be less hot and muddy. Thanks to Brett's road atlas, they trekked off down the road to a town of historical significance that was in the direction of Brett's hometown.

I.B.: Oh that's good. I know Red was concerned about the fact that he had to drive the furthest.

Yeah, but did you hear later when he said he didn't mind driving so far, because he knew she had just driven across the country? Geez. Is it possible for two people to be TOO considerate of each other?

I.B.: I don't know. But it sure seemed like the two of them together have difficulty making any clear decisions. Go on with the story, you're doing fine.

Well, kudos to the historian who was giving the tour of these little buildings from a time before Indiana was even a state. He really knew his stuff and was very thorough. Red is a very good audience, and she later blamed herself for how long he took. But after all, this is her new home state, and she loves this kind of stuff anyway.

The funny thing was that later, when Red blamed herself, Brett agreed that the historian seemed to get excited every time she asked questions.

I.B.: Do most people not ask questions when they're touring an historical site?

I dunno. I've only ever been in Red's head. I don't think she's a good example of “normal”. ...and what's with the pretentious "an historical", I.B? Loosen up!

I.B.: Whatever. They both got a personalized bookmark out of the tour, and I LOVE it! I'll put it in the book I'm reading right now! But moving on, what did you think of the dinner scene? (if that's what we're calling it, because it was quite early for true “dinner”.)

That was a surprise! I know neither one had eaten before they met, so by 4:30 in the afternoon of course they were hungry, but Red was intentionally avoiding that scenario by doing the park thing because if you do a meal there's the whole “decision-making” thing, the whole “here's what I don't eat” thing, the possibility of dripping/splattering all over yourself, the possibility that he might chew with his mouth open and then it's all over(because that's disgusting), and of course the whole “Bistromathics” thing. ...although she needn't have worried: Brett took care of the Bistromathics issue by just paying for everything, like a gentleman.

I.B.: Should we explain Bistromathics?

Nah, Red already did. I'll just link to that post

(For those of you who aren't going to click the link,
Bistromathics is a theory from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.)

I.B.: You may be on to something with your "is it possible to be TOO considerate?" Although they decided on Fazoli's pretty quickly, for all Red's concerns about eating on a first "date".

I think Red was only pretending to be indecisive about where to eat. She knew full well she'd passed a Fazoli's, and ever since Brett's daughter made a comment about that chain on her FB page, Red's been looking forward to that aspect of Indiana.

I.B.: See what I mean? Too considerate. She could just as easily have said, “I saw a Fazoli's, and I've been anxious to eat there, because we don't have them in Delaware.” Brett's a very easy-going guy. He wouldn't have minded ...and then someone would have made a quick decision!

Well, regardless of how they got there, the dining scene was my least favorite part of today: No action. Just two people talking and eating. And then good-bye.

I.B.: Good-bye was good!

Good-bye was very good! I'd watch a replay of that. Maybe that's where Red is...watching the replay. Haha!

(I.B. the editor: For those of you who jumped to the end first, regardless of the warning. HAHA! Joke's on you! The ending is at the beginning!)

Well, hopefully Red will return to her right mind soon enough to field the comments. I don't know if we're equipped to answer any questions!