On Surprise Parties and Being a Lush

Two Things

(that’s how I start a lot of my emails to my boss: “Two Things”  and then I have two questions or comments, or warnings to give him.) So today, I have just two things to share. They amuse me.

I had an email (in my personal email) from my office-mate a couple evenings ago about a “Red’s last day luncheon” but when I tried to respond from my phone, it took me to google and I didn’t want to go there. So yesterday evening I tried to do it and got the same thing… (it wanted me to download Google+ calendar or some such thing, and I SO don’t need another calendar!)... anyway, I just emailed her separately and said I had received the email and yes, I would be there. (LOL. It's at work.) Her very quick reply:

U r NOT!!!  Suppose to know about this it is a surprise...stupid new phone ggggrrrrr

 

That made me laugh and inform her that:

> LOL. Don't feel bad. It is divine intervention. I hate surprise parties.
> And actually, it only shows your name and mine, so until you said "surprise", I wasn't sure if you were just being funny and saying "let's do lunch".

So she recommended a local Mexican restaurant that is close to work. … Of course now I don’t know if she also wants to go to Que Pasa or not…hmm...

I do hate surprise parties. I wasn’t joking. I will ruin it if you try to throw one for me. I hate a fuss - unless it's due to my own brilliance and wit. (ha!) 

There’s something contrary in my nature that just can’t handle other people doing that kind of thing for me. I don’t know if it’s just the idea that I’m not included in the joke – and therefore on a perverse level it could be construed that I am the butt of the joke (don’t judge me!) – or if it’s a control-freak thing. One of the joys of being single is having control over when I do things, where I go, and who all is involved. Besides, if I don’t know I’m going to a party, I won’t be mentally prepared. Yes, I need to mentally prepare - what? (I’m a closet introvert in an extroverted world)

The second thing CRACKS ME UP SO HARD!

So this office-mate I mentioned above has been my wingman on nights on the town. Well, we’ve been each other’s. We started hanging out outside of work some 5 years ago. We have some good blackmail stories on each other. Of course, gas started going up (and other stuff), and we don’t just go out for random fun-nights very much anymore, but they are there, and the attitude is there. 

With that kind of history, there are some entertaining conversations in our office. I’ve started telling people I’m working on my reputation as a lush, because I want to leave them with something. ...it's my farewell gift to Lower Slower Delaware...

~If it’s a rough morning, we will joke about going out "to drink lunch".

~When we got new office furniture, I noted that if we installed a shelf under the front panel of these fancy desks, then we could set up a hidden bar.

~We often talk about going out for drinks after work, whether or not we actually do.

All of that is a set up to tell you about the sweetest woman who works upstairs. She’s very conservative Catholic which is just a way to say that everyone cleans up their language around her. The point is that she will freely laugh at our drinking humor, but not likely participate.

The copier/scanner/miracle machine is in our office downstairs, and Sweetie comes down to use it several times a day. OFTEN, she’s walking in at just that point in a conversation between my officemate and myself. It always makes her laugh. Mostly because it happens so often. I’ve taken to suggesting alcohol as a solution for every problem if Sweetie is around, just because it makes her laugh.

So yesterday she told me she has an idea for a website. She wants to start a “What Would Red Say?” website (complete with a store where you could buy WWRS wrist-bands and t-shirts). The idea being that people could pose questions and I would answer them. (I really don’t think I’m that witty.) And the first “What Would Red Say” item that she would post? “What would Red say about non-alcoholic beverages?” Sweetie’s suggested answer? “Dude! What’s the point?” She has my voice down. I say “dude” WAY too much not to be a surfer.

She thinks I’m such a lush. My mission is accomplished. >smiling<

And today’s “reason to celebrate”:

It’s the 205^th anniversary of the discovery of the 4^th asteroid named… VESTA! Vesta Vayne, this party’s for you!