22 May, 2013

We May Have Reached an Impasse

You’ve seen it on TV before. I know there are scenes in both How I Met Your Mother, and in Big Bang Theory dealing with it, and probably lots of other shows, too. In HIMYM, Ted forced his new girlfriend to watch Star Wars, because it is his favorite movie. She didn’t get it, and he hid the fact of how important the movie is to him.

The dramatic saga of Red and The Transformed Non-Conformist has reached such a roadblock.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Brett and I have known for a long time that we have wildly different taste in movies. There is some overlap. We have successfully watched DVDs together during most of our weekend visits, and have been to see movies in the actual theater… what, three times? (The Avengers, Brave…what else?) But there are concessions. When I’m coming over, Brett tries to ensure that Netflix sends him something “Red-appropriate” (AKA: not horror) although we did begin an attempt at horror-indoctrination. (Brett put a lot of thought into it, but we never got beyond step one, which was actually kind of an accidental movie and not the one he intended.) When he comes to see me… well, frankly, I’m having issues with my DVD-player, so we are kind of limited in that regard.

I’ve threatened him with Bridget Jones’ Diary, He’s Just Not That Into You, Moulin Rouge, and all kinds of other chick-flicks and classics. Last weekend, I put in Breakfast At Tiffany’s – one of my top three favorite movies, ever.

He hated it.

He hated the characters.
He hated the story.
He hated … well what else is there?
He didn’t chuckle at the bits that make me laugh.

I love this movie. The Movie Whore in me watches it a lot. And quotes it. We - the Movie Whore and I - find Holly Golightly to be a sympathetic character – oh, not that I can identify with the details of her life, but the way she deals or doesn’t deal? The abstract? Yep. I get it.

What to do?
My Love hates one of my favorite classic heroines!

...My new working theory is that Brett has a subconscious tic in his brain that will not allow him to appreciate any movie that is highly acclaimed. He must find fault with it. It's only a theory, but I have some evidence: He doesn’t like Casablanca. He doesn’t like The Godfather. He is "okay" with Star Wars (or so he tells me) but not wild about it. He said he wants to watch Doctor Zhivago (possibly my all-time, most favorite movie).

I have a sneaking suspicion he will hate it, too.

It’s a classic.
It’s hailed as a work of art.
It IS a work of art, in every respect.

I love him. I love Brett, and he can have any opinion he wants. We may be at an impasse on some movies, but you know what? That SO doesn’t matter. At all. If we’re ever in a situation where we have no available movies that we can agree on, there are plenty of other things to do instead!


  1. My and the husband had to stop watching movies together for awhile. It was better for everyone, really.

    1. We overlap enough for entertainment, but for a movie either one of us is really dying to see? You may be right.

  2. I haven't seen Breakfast at Tiffany's or Doctor Zhivago. But I do like classics. The Errol Flynn, Robin Hood is my favorite Robin Hood movie of all time. I think if I get the time to see a movie these days, everything on my have to see list is recent.

    1. I'm pretty out of the recent-movie loop, sadly.
      ...did Star Trek come out recently? Hmm...

  3. As much as this pains me to say, you might have to declare a "no movie talk" truce in the house. Scott has insisted on one in ours. Not that we don't like the same movies - we share a love of a great many - but the English Major in me can't help but critique and he is more of a "enjoy it as it is" kind of guy. We've gotten better. He tolerates a lot of the wacky movies I Netflix and I grudgingly allow the ones he wants to watch into the house!


    1. We've figured out - well, I did, and I think he agreed - that he deems a movie "good" based on the plot/storyline. I enjoy a movie if I like the characters. We watched one HORRIBLE movie - just awful. I hated everyone in it except one mom. BUT the story must have been interesting enough - it was a comedy - and he laughed his way through it. I laughed some, too, because a funny line is a funny line, but don't think a chuckle redeemed the movie overall.

  4. I'm actually not a fan of chick flicks so my boyfriend won't have to put up with them. haha However, I have zero tolerance for scary movies anymore, so I don't know how we'll deal with that one.

    1. Brett and I actually have a pretty good overlap. Most action movies are okay, and we recently watched Charade together, so that's a classic. Actually a lot of so-called kids' movies work for us too.

      You'll find something that works!

  5. Yea, but if you guys agreed on absolutely everything, you'd get bored. A little bit of turmoil is good for the relationship. Me and my husband have a lot of similar tastes. But we often disagree in the movie category too. I love silly comedies and such, while he likes stupid movies that are super boring.

    See? I'm right!



    1. Oh yeah. We disagree just enough, I think.

      And a kiss is always an acceptable way to meet in the middle.

  6. Tell him that you hate Movie X. Watch it with him but "excuse yourself" whenever a scene comes in that you enjoy so you don't give away your cunning plan.

    When the movie is done, see what he thinks of it, and we can test your theory!

    1. That's a great idea! But I don't think I can do it. The Movie Whore in me talks about movies too much. He'd be onto me in no time.

  7. We do definitely have a different taste in movies, but there are many critically acclaimed movies that I love.

    From the AMC Top 100 Critically Acclaimed Movies of the 20th Century list:

    Shawshank Redemption
    Schindler's List
    To Kill a Mockingbird
    Pulp Fiction
    Singin' in the Rain
    The Bridge on the River Kwai
    Duck Soup
    Modern Times
    City Lights
    A Night at the Opera
    Who Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

    Although, that is it. Out of 100 on the list, I didn't care for the rest of them. I do believe that my taste in movies is different than most people. I like what I like. Many of my favorite movies haven't even been heard of by most people I run into.

    1. I know I haven't heard of a lot of your favorites. ...you could always introduce me to them!
      I think our tastes overlap enough. And we don't have to always see movies together, which is nice. I like our mutual independence.

  8. Hm. I'm with him on Holly Golightly, but if he doesn't like "Doctor Zhivago," I might have to slap him around a bit ;P

    1. We shall see...
      Fortunately we have plenty of other things to do!

  9. Bridge on the River Kwai is one of Dad's favorites


    1. That is one we agree on. We also agree on things like Clue, The Princess Bride, Rocky Horror, etc. There are some agreements, just mostly not classics.


I enjoy a good debate. Feel free to shake things up. Tell me I'm wrong. Ask me why I have such a weird opinion. ...or, just laugh and tell how this relates to you and your life.