Try Anything Tuesday

Hey there, happy people!

I tried a new thing today. Have you heard of Reiki? It's a Japanese energy healing technique. I just so happen to have a friend here who is a Reiki practitioner. I've known her for a couple years but it never really appealed to my logical brain.

Then this fall, I did something to my shoulder - slept wrong? I don't know. For a while it was distractingly painful, but not debilitating. Then, throughout the rainy season the pain would come and go. It hasn't been as bad for a while, but I can't sleep on my left side.

It turns out, a friend of mine back in the US goes to reiki regularly. (I don't know the verbs. "does" reiki? "Has reiki done to her"?) She sent me an article about how it has been used with some success to treat pain and trauma. Bingo.

So today, I had my first reiki session. Afterward I was told to pay attention to how I feel over the next few days, starting with today. Here's what I wrote today about the session:

Took my brain a while to relax. "Am I doing this right? Where should my hands be? What do other people do?" I felt her warm pressure in various places, but no emotion or build-up.

Tried to relax.

Tried to relax.

Trying is the antithesis of relaxing. Let my mind wander. I wondered what was happening, and associated different touch points with different chakras.

Did I doze off? I noticed a prayer-like lifting sensation. My hands felt they were rising (they weren't). My body felt lifted and pulled like taffy (it wasn't). Then I know I dozed. The place where my body was (head-to-toe) became a pool of shifting colors. Liquid violet, red, pink - jewel tones in a sea of darkness. As if someone was pouring swirls of paint together. Next I was a pool of milky-liquid (like that one Doctor Who episode).

After I thought I heard a rain storm starting (wasn't happening), I was conscious of myself again. My hand slipped involuntarily. I had a coughing fit for no reason.

Afterward, she told me the coughing thing is not uncommon as the body releases toxins through the process. She said to drink water, and that I'll probably want to go to bed early tonight.

I was so thirsty. 

Hours later, at home, after drinking more water, I felt light-headed.

When I sat to work at my computer, it felt like I'd had an injection in my shoulder.

I should explain, she knew my issues were insomnia, joint pain, and "a shoulder" but not which one. My shoulder hasn't been acting up lately, either. When we finished, she said she kept being drawn to my left ankle, and asked if I had injured that sometime in the past. No, but for the past couple weeks that ankle has felt bruised. A mild pain, so I never mentioned it.

Weird!

Tuesday (ish) Truth

"Truth" as in "This is what I believe is true." I do not have 100% proof as to the factuality of what I am about to relate. Here we go:

I think I had a heart attack recently. It was a few weeks ago, and since I wasn't about to go to the hospital, I'm not really telling people about it. This blog is anonymous,  so I've decided to put it out here for posterity, in case something else happens later.

Here is what happened:

I was washing dishes, and suddenly felt strong pressure, as if someone was pressing their fist - or the wide end of a baseball bat - into my sternum. I leaned on the counter for a moment, but it didn't go away. The pressure started climbing up my chest, slowly. I was having trouble catching my breath, so I retreated to the bedroom to recline in the cool dark. Maybe that would help.

The pressure grew up to my throat, and I focused on breathing. At this point, tears were coming to my eyes because I was confused and in pain. But I didn't want to panic over nothing, so I worked on relaxing as much as I could. 

Gradually, the pressure eased and my breath came more easily. I waited a few more minutes to calm myself and take some deep breaths, before returning to the kitchen. During this time, I think I started laughing at myself: Was it a heart attack? Was it a gas bubble? SO OFTEN on TV and in movies, someone thinks they are having a heart attack, go to the hospital, undergo a battery of tests, only to find out that there was just a big gas bubble or some other harmless thing. 

I'm not going to do that! Seriously? Pay for a hospital visit and testing to find out what? A)Yes, you had a heart attack. Now you must alter your life in these ways. Or B) No, it wasn't a heart attack, but you should alter your life in these ways. 

Not worth it, IMHO.

Here's the thing, people. I am genetically highly likely to have a "cardiac event". On a scale of 0-3, my bloodwork came up a 9. My blood pressure is LOW; my cholesterol is healthy. I eat healthy. (Since moving to Vietnam, I have a diet high in turmeric and garlic, both good for the heart.) I exercise regularly. My heart situation is purely courtesy of my dad and his dad and others who came before.

After finding out I was a cardiac risk years ago, I started a pinterest board for heart health. After this "heart attack" I looked through symptoms common in women. Apart from the obvious ones that I felt in that moment, during the weeks leading up to a heart attack, many women complain of: 

• Insomnia ✔
• Excess fatigue. ✔ 
• Nausea. ✔ I don't often feel nausea, but shortly before this I had felt it during some of my yoga workouts. 
• Many women also mention a high stressor leading up to the event. ✔ (Not relevant to dredge up here.)

So, I think I had a heart attack. I'll happily continue on in ignorance of the medical truth, just with this personal truth in my head, and will watch for the next one.

Health #AtoZChallenge

Naturally, after hopping into a challenge that has me writing everyday, my health acts up again!

No, not Covid. Hopefully nothing major at all! The last few days I've just been feeling run down, not sleeping well, sneezy, brain-foggy. 

I was out reading in my hammock, on this beautiful, perfect, Vietnamese spring day, but when the shade got too cool - oh, another symptom: hyperactive internal thermostat - I came inside to sit here and make a halfway attempt at an H post. (G is easier. A lot more g words to fill the body of the post.)

How do you combat your body's betrayal? I'm pretty good at reading the signs, and this could be the harbinger of a cold. HOWEVER... I have the ability to schedule my own time as I choose, and can therefore rest when these things happen, without waiting until things go too far.

Having a schedule that's my own, I haven't had a bad cold in the last few years. Because I can do exactly that: rest.

How many of us have heard that the best thing to do for a cold is rest? ALL of us! That's how many! And I, for one, have found that to be true. 

My apologies for this minimalist horror of a post, but I'm going to have another rest. Stay healthy everyone!

Balancing the Scales

Do you ever hear a phrase so often that it becomes a nothing phrase? You maybe think you have a handle on it, but then talk to someone else who reads it differently? I think in this day of memes and ancient quotes (or misquotes) being plastered all over the internet, it must be a pretty common phenomenon. 

Above images all from Pinterest

One struck me today. "Live a balanced life." You see this one in conjunction with motivational memes or those video ads for the latest free online self-improvement workshop.

What is "a balanced life"?

I have joined online fitness groups that motivate you to exercise more and watch what you eat. Set goals for weight loss! Define those goals clearly and break them down week by week, day by day! Read these articles about how you should be eating, what you should be eating, when you should be eating!

I still participate in groups like that, because it is helpful accountability for me, but I take everything with a grain of salt. One study says eat a big breakfast is key to losing weight. One study shows that intermittent fasting is effective. It's all very personal - what works for one doesn't work for another.

A few years ago - before we moved overseas - it dawned on me that this focus on food and fitness should be ... how can I put it ... just one piece of my overall health. I know, basic, right?

But I realized I was neglecting my spiritual and psychological side. All those things that actually bring happiness to life. The joy of a tasty snack (peanut butter on graham crackers felt like a healthy option) turned into guilt over abusing my body. (When you eat a whole sleeve of crackers with your peanut butter, it's not as healthy.) 

Other, non-"health" related things I enjoyed were a minimal part of my life. The things that didn't bring guilt. I usually was reading a book, making slow progress when I had time, but I hadn't sought out a new author or genre in ages. I wasn't attending church as regularly as I had in the past, although I still read my Bible.

For me, I found that taking time to meditate every day, and ensuring that I spent some time doing fun things - reading, cross-stitch, coloring, baking - helped me feel better about myself and about life.

To me, that is "balanced". I hope I will never be able to be pigeon-holed as "XYZ" type. I hope my interests and activities will vary sufficiently to keep challenging my perceptions. No one will ever fully know what's in my heart and on my mind, but if I am tending to those parts of me as well as to my physical body, I think I am achieving balance.

That's just what works for me. How do you understand "a balanced life"? What am I missing?
 

Taking a Sick Day

I was supposed to be helping at a Children's home today, but I woke up with ... how to put this delicately ... discomfort in the guts? In Asia, I have learned that if I have any doubt about my digestive system, I'd best stay home. So I canceled at the last minute and said I'll get to next month's event instead.

I didn't eat crazy food yesterday, although my husband thought it looked like they had put ham on my chicken pizza last night. I didn't notice pieces and didn't taste it, but if it was there, my body does not know how to digest pork products anymore so that might be it.

Then again, during my lovely, restful day yesterday, he was busily looking up new houses and apartments to visit, expanding our rental parameters, reaching out on forums, trying to contact our agent, etc. At the end of the day, we have two places to look at tomorrow, and three in a neighboring city on Tuesday. That's enough to cause a little anxious-tummy, too.

I am excited to get into a bigger place, but the actual deciding is a bit stressful. It's not a conscious stress, but every day is a "what if" and that wears a person down. 

So I'm home again today. Writing, writing, writing. How's your weekend going? Big plans for the coming week?

Eating Habits

Real quick thought for today:

It's almost 5:00pm. I ate fruit early (8-ish) before we went to look at a house, then as soon as we got back I was STARVING, so we grabbed lunch to bring home from the tiny little hole-in-the-wall place near us: rice and tofu and egg and veg. That was before 11am. 

I was cautious about eating "lunch" so early, but everything is closed here from about 12:30-3:00, so if I didn't I would probably have had to eat my shoe. (or potato chips, something bad for me).

I just now realized that I'm not even hungry now when I should be!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Listen to your body. Eat when you're hungry, not at the "right" time.

Surprised by the Expected

They say "expect the unexpected" and yet we all prepare for what we expect, isn't that true?

As I prepared to move into the tropics - me, a very light-skinned person of northern-European descent - I prepared for the expected. Sunblock, aloe gel for the inevitable burn... I habitually use sunblock all summer against incidental sun. In the States, if I ate lunch outside - 15 minutes, mind you, at 40*N latitude - I would come in with pink on my arm, or my neck or wherever was most exposed.

Shameless plug: I have used Mary Kay skincare for decades, and their Day Solution has an SPF, as does the light foundation and foundation primer I use. For this reason, I never add regular sunblock to my face. Mary Kay is awesome.

Every morning I apply sunblock on my neck and shoulders, collarbones down to my collar line, and the tops of my feet and ears.

Now, the city is very quiet at midday. Everyone is resting. A 2-hour lunch break is standard, so people can rest after lunch, in the heat of the day. I love that and try to adopt it, although I don't always nap. I walk on the beach most mornings, and we walk a short distance for a "lunch" usually midafternoon. Brett teaches from 5-8 in the evening, so we usually grab another bite after that. Sometimes we go out more often or walk a longer distance in the morning to a major shopping center.

In short, I'm getting morning sun, and only occasionally out for a bit during peak hours. 

All this is to say that, contrary to my expectation, I haven't gotten sunburned! I was so prepared to burn. I have been slowly getting just a little bit of color from the incidental sun I get. This is an astounding blessing because my sunburns don't even have the grace to fade into a tan. They peel, and then I go right back to my freckled, mole-y paleness. So I've been delighted with my skin's reaction to moving closer to the equator.

Yesterday I burned.
It surprised me.
I did nothing particularly different, although my morning walk on the beach was longer than usual. But the tan lines around my arms are from the t-shirt I changed into before we left for lunch. We walked about the equivalent of a block and a half and ate under an awning. 
And I burned. 
It was 1:30. 
I had not re-applied sunblock.

All my preparations and in the end the very thing I had been expecting happened anyway. Silver lining: It's a minor burn. I have burned to a blister so often this pink is nothing. Well, it's a surprise, but not a catastrophe.

Incidentally, I've been toying for days with simply writing a post full of my tips for transitioning pale skin into a tropically sunny environment. Maybe I still will. Failure is the best teacher!

Have you ever been surprised by something you thought you were prepared for?

Life Can be Confusing. So Can Death.

So apparently my dad is of the impression that he was told by his urologist to "get his affairs in order" by November. 

I heard that from my sister, who quickly followed it with, "but then Mom said, 'no - he said we need to do any traveling before November'." When Dad was hospitalized for a prostate issue a year or so ago, they found out that his kidneys were a bigger problem.

My dad is of the mind that medication and extreme treatment are not the way he wants to live his life. After having a stroke in 2012 - which led to my move back to the Midwest to be nearby - the only medication he condescended to accept was a daily aspirin regimen. He has already stated that he doesn't want dialysis. No wait, according to Mom, he said he "won't do" dialysis. 

I'm guessing that the "travel before November" guideline was the doctor's way of telling my parents that Dad should expect to require dialysis at that point. Which means Mom has that long to try to convince him that it isn't "a waste of time".

My sister believes he should start dialysis, because it affects more people than just him. True. Dad's life and death does affect more people than just his-own-self. But if that's not the kind of life he wants, shouldn't we honor that? To take a half a day, 3 times a week (or so) to go sit in some medical facility hooked up to a machine is a "waste of time" for him.

My first thought is that, typically he spends at least half his day sitting/sleeping in his recliner, or writing and playing on his computer, so what's the difference? I bet he could  take his computer with him. But then, it won't be as comfy as doing those things at home. So...

I bet he is - secretly or with Mom's knowledge - getting his affairs in order. Which means I am doing some mental preparations. He will be 78 in December. If you need dialysis and don't get it, how long does it take until your kidneys kill you? We just spent a pile on a trip to the US. I don't know how soon I can afford to go back.

The Alphabet Soup of Life

Caution: This is extremely random and disjointed. Not my proudest writing moment. But I needed it.

I know, I know. I just posted... literally today. But that one links up to the Five Minute Friday Challenge, and this is just me.

I actually have a question for the few of you who may see this.

It dawned on me last night that the A to Z Challenge is coming soon. Last year I participated and SURVIVED to the END! (I guess that's an achievement, since I get to wear the badge on my blog.) Last year I was prepared. Last year I knew my theme and had selected most of the daily topics in advance, even dropped in some writing prompts to make it easy on me.

While doing last year's challenge, I found out I have a heart problem.
Well, not precisely. But I will.
Specifically, I'm "high risk for a cardiovascular event." 

It freaked me out because I am one of the healthiest people I know. So I started researching heart health. I found so much material - good and bad - that with A to Z fresh in my mind, I thought I could do 2017 A to Z on all these crazy findings. Debunk some myths.

Now, that seems kinda tame and lame.
Shortly after 2016 A to Z we decided to move to Beijing. I've learned a lot through that process and our few months here, too. I'm still learning. So now I'm thinking that China might be a more interesting topic. 

But I'm no travel blog. I'm just me, being me in a new location. 
Besides, I did travel-type stuff last year.

Maybe I should just take my ESL 3rd-graders answers in the "I'm Going to Grandma's House" game. That's A to Z, but pretty basic.

So my question to you, you fortunate few, is actually a challenge to help me resolve my internal debate!

During the A to Z challenge, would you rather read about heart health or China or ESL answers? That is, which would be better on this blog (there's already a lot of China here, but I guess repetition is okay)? Or should I be a non-themed theme? I don't know if I could do that... I could create a theme that changes daily: "Mondays are XYZ, Tuesdays are #qT, Wedne..." That could be fun...


SO MANY IDEAS!
I don't know why I'm concerned about this. I guess I'm just used to being prepared.
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I actually intended to do a short post about death today, but got distracted. So here it is:

My godfather died recently. 

My godparents divorced decades ago, and my godmother is the blood relative, so I hadn't seen my godfather since Jr. High. Until a couple years ago, on a trip out west, we were visiting the right town and he came to dinner. I'm glad I have that. I'm glad I got to see he hadn't changed much, was still getting around, still had all his faculties, his sense of humor, good relationships with my cousins, etc.

So I have no real sense of grief. He's been gone from my life for years, came back for an hour or so, and that's it. Only now he's gone for good. So I feel I ought to throw some words out to the cosmos, but I don't want to clutter up horrible facebook and glean so many condolences when my cousins really should be the condoled ones. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

No condolences needed, but I am curious if anyone has an opinion about A to Z. Or a completely different suggestion.

PSA: Get a Mammogram!

Good morning all!

I thought I'd throw this out there because I was prepared to skip it this year. 

I've been getting mammograms for about 10 years now, because my sister got breast cancer in her 30s. I've never had a sign of cancer, and never felt a lump. So this year, with everything going on, and my PTO running out at work - so not wanting to take all the time to drive across town - I thought, "Meh. It'll be clear anyway. I'll save the time and skip it."

When my friend visited a few weeks ago, she asked if we were getting all our medical check-ups prior to moving, and specifically about the mammogram. After I explained my view, she suggested finding a place with extended hours, or going somewhere that wasn't across town, since a lab is a lab, and my doctors are part of a network in my city.

Long story short, if she hadn't had that conversation with me, I would have gone without my annual mammogram. So now I'm having that conversation with you! I finally had mine this morning. It will probably be clear, but better to get it now, while I have insurance and know about the quality of care I'm getting, right?

If you haven't had one, or are scared, just know:

• It's uncomfortable, but only for a few seconds
• Nothing is poked or prodded - no needles, no scalpels - just squishing
• The techs (I've only ever had female radiology techs) understand that you are exposing yourself, and do their best to make you comfortable. Emotionally, at least.
• They've seen every type of breast before. 
• It's quick! I was at my office a half-hour after my appointment.

 What's stopping you?
 

If it's not recorded, did it happen?

My Fitbit doesn’t work.

Don’t leave! Please… hear me out!

I’m not a Fitbit user by nature. I eschewed the call of “tracking” my exercise and general fitness in this way, and rolled my eyes with the rest of you when coworkers discussed ad nauseum “getting my steps in” and ranted about “I wasn’t wearing my Fitbit, so it didn’t count!” WHAT? Morons.

A co-worker who I occasionally walk with at lunch-time had her Fitbit break while on vacation, bought an upgraded new one, and found out later that the old one still worked. She offered it to me. Free.

Um, okay. I’ll try it – let me see what the hype is about. I've had it about month now.

I don’t get it. I don’t. Here are my observations:

My Fitbit (Fitbit One) automatically tracks steps, miles and flights of stairs. Sort of. 

Exceptions:

1. The coworker advised me that the mileage thing seems to be off. (I can't tell.)

2. My first flight downstairs in the morning doesn’t EVER count. It only tracks beginning with the first flight up. WHY?

3. My primary workout is yoga. This is not tracked. At all.

4. Neither is time on a stationary bike. Presumably, if I had my phone linked up and with me on an actual bike ride, the GPS may provide mileage for a workout.

5. I went into the app on my phone where, allegedly, I can add untracked exercise. Only to find that I can only log “run, walk, or hike”. WHY? How is this beneficial to anyone maintaining a healthy, varied exercise regime?

I would be very interested in the sleep tracking feature available. BUT I need to have the wristband to clip my Fitbit onto in order to even see if it works. I don’t have this, so I don’t even know if it works.

IF this product worked to track all my exercise, I could see the benefit, but when the Fitbit says I’ve had 17 active minutes on a day when I busted my butt and got in over 60 minutes of legitimate exercise (weight training? Fuggedaboutit) I am loathe to put my trust in it. If I have to manually enter it anyway, why not just do what I do now and mark it on my planner?

I'm not sold.

Do you have a Fitbit One? What am I missing? How can I add my hours of cycling, weights and yoga?

(Please don’t try to sell me on an upgrade. I will not pay for a device to track what I could just as easily track in my planner.)

X is for X-ray Lab

When I lined up my 26 topics for this challenge, I thought I was so very clever to think of this place!

But it’s really more about radiology labs.

"I’ve had precisely one x-ray in my life, after a car accident, and I don’t really remember it. There was nothing broken, so no follow up." End of post.

However, if I broaden the subject to radiology labs, I can offer a short PSA to all you ladies reading this:

Get your mammograms!

My eldest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 30s, so I started getting mammograms the following year, also in my 30s. It’s not painful, just a little uncomfortable because they have to squish you SO FLAT! But only for a few seconds. The peace of mind is worth the discomfort.

Truthfully, she felt a lump during a self-exam, and I believe that is fairly common. So even more than getting regular mammograms, be sure to give yourself regular self-exams.

(I’m bad at that, but remember occasionally. At least it's more frequent than the annual professional one.)

They keep changing the guidelines for how often a woman should receive these tests, so I’d suggest not trusting the medical community on this – do the self-exams, even if you won’t be getting a full mammogram for years!

End of PSA.

Moral of the Story: Know your body!

A break from A to Z - random rant

I hadn't planned to post today. This 6-days-a-week writing and commenting on other blogs is fun, but it's nice to get a break. But something's been weighing on me, and I want to throw it to the cosmos. (assuming most of you are taking Sunday off, too.)

I was recently diagnosed "high cardiovascular risk". My first instinct was denial: This can't happen to me!
I haven't eaten red meat since 8th grade.
I eat 4-5 servings of fruits and veggies daily. Usually more.
I exercise every day.
My overall diet is good enough to meet my doctor's approval.

Yet, my blood test came up "high risk". What the Hell, universe? I was so mad. I eat right, I exercise, what am I doing it for? If I'm going to have a heart attack anyway, I might as well eat crap and be a slug all the time!

After a few days of feeling cheated, I remembered: I have more energy when I exercise regularly. I don't LIKE crap food - grease tastes like grease in my mouth, and sugar gives me bad side effects. So I might as well keep eating and exercising as I do.

Mind you, I hadn't talked with my doctor about the blood test yet. I have an "e-chart" where the blood test results automatically showed up and I got a message that I could look at them... five days before my follow-up appointment. I was just bargaining with myself.

I tried to think of what, precisely, in my life I could change to help myself. Reduce stress - sure. Stop shouting at traffic, meditate more. Try to pay attention to stress and just breathe. I can do that. I could probably cut back on alcohol and caffeine, too.

When I met with my doctor, he was not concerned about it at all. Whatever it was that showed in the blood test is not affected by diet and exercise. "You should probably start taking CoQ10. I've had several patients reduce their risk just doing that." 

So that's it. I've accepted it. I'm suddenly so old that I'm taking supplements to help prevent heart attack. 

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Acceptance. I just grieved for...what? The myth of my health? The symbolic loss of my youth? 
No conclusion. Just venting my mind.