Moving 101

I’ve started packing. The last time I moved more than 12 miles, I only had three weeks and it was crazy. This time, two months out, where to begin?

As someone who has traveled and relocated A LOT, I will grace you all with my insights as I go which you may or may not agree with. (And if you have enlightenment to share on this subject, I’m all ears!)

Lesson 1: Getting Started

There are a million things to do, and it can be overwhelming. Especially if you start with a list. I’m a list-maker, but in this case, and with this much time, start with boxes! Make the list later; then you’ll feel better to already have a head start.

In my case, I’ve been collecting boxes for months because of my growing discontent. You may need to go get some. But what to pack?

Here’s my big insight for today’s lesson: The easiest thing to start with is books. Let’s face it – you can’t read them all in the next two months, so they might as well be boxed up. There’s a trick to this too: use SMALL  boxes. Books are heavy, and there is nothing worse than a giant, heavy box. Save the big boxes for things like blankets and pillows. Best to have 42 manageable boxes than 8 boxes that require two people to carry…because let’s face it: No one wants to help you move! Plan as if it’s all on you. Because it is.

Rule of thumb (that I just came up with): A heavy box should be no bigger than your torso. Keep your center of gravity centered!

Think liquor-store boxes. These. Are. Awesome. Not only are they the right size, they are designed to hold multiple bottles of liquid – i.e. heavy stuff. These boxes are some kind of reinforced…and it seems common for the stores not to break down the boxes, leaving their strength intact.

But don’t be afraid to use shoeboxes in a pinch – especially for old-school “pocket” paperbacks. And boot boxes are a decent size for most books. There is no shame in a small box of books, but there is pain in a large one!



I've only scratched the surface...



I admit I’ve not sealed up any boxes. I have many, many, many books, and it’s a bit like sealing away old friends. Besides, there are still small pockets of space in these boxes that may yet prove useful!

Key Point! Don’t succumb to the seduction of actually reading as you pack. It doesn’t work. It’s either-or. I did succumb to pull out this cute, funny book I have, called “the rules: a man’s guide to life” by Esquire. I only pulled it out because I thought it might fit in one of the smaller spaces, but it didn’t, and I started flipping through it. It’s just a series of numbered “rules” like “Rule 222: Some women, particularly models, call one another ‘girls’, but you can’t.” SO TRUE! (And not just models, all of us.) Or non-sequitur rules like 176: “The best instrument is the cello.” And 31: “The best force is centrifugal.” Que? I love it! Cracks me up. I know many who agree with 480: “If there is danger involved, it is fun.” And its follow-up 481: “It is more fun if it requires you to sign a waiver.” SO TRUE! I kept a copy of the waiver I signed for bungee-jumping…and went back for seconds.

[Hopefully Esquire, and Hearst Books who published it, won’t be mad that I listed some of these rules. It’s just a book I found in a bookstore somewhere a few years ago, that cracks me up every time.]

But in the “do as I say, not as I do” department: don’t succumb to the temptation to read while you are packing! It is a path to the dark side …you know “easier, more seductive”.

Now I just have to, you know, tell my bosses, and break the news to my best friend, and then the rest of my family, sell some stuff, and figure out exactly HOW to get out of Dodge. Guess I’ll have to write that list soon.

UPDATED: Having Fun at Work - WHAT? making it happen

I have an under-developed sense of professionalism, I think. I mean, my actual work is very professional; I take notes in meetings; I meet deadlines; I keep open the chains of communication, and all that, but of all the offices and cubicles in my workplace, mine is easily the most entertaining. Allow me to show you!

(Be kind, this is an experiment with putting photos in my blog, without having them settle at the top.)

First, I offer a warning...

...but it's not an empty threat!

I have a flying Monkey gun! (trebuchet, in fact)

I got a "Chicken-Chucker" (same thing with mini-rubber-chickens) for my officemate. It seemed only fair.

I am the only one in our entire building with any cartoons. I can't think why.

The Maxine says "I finally found Mr. Right. I call him up, he brings me a pizza, and then he goes away."
The other one is a cartoon called Grizzwells. As the two are digging through the trash, the porcupine says "What's this, Gunther?" and the bear says, "Don't you know anything? That's an answering machine." The porcupine mutters "cool..." then says "So where do you put in the questions?" to which Gunther replies "Beats me...I'm not one of those computer geeks..." I love it! Nobody else laughs at it. ...I'm so alone.

Okay, this is just silliness...

Here's where I hide my tea:

(It was a Christmas gift from a co-worker who GETS IT!)

This is everyone's favorite corner of my desk:

(The yellow is a Daily Affirmation Ball, the purple, a Sarcasm Ball.)

The Executive Decision Maker deserves a close-up:

(That's a photo of a baby Osprey behind the decision-maker)

This was a gift from a dear, no-nonsense friend who thinks (thought?) I'm "capricious in my decision-making". Bless her, she thought she'd help me!

Wow. The photos worked! Sort of. I'm terrified to fool with the font above, for fear of deleting the painstakingly downloaded photos. I give a lot of credit to those of you who regularly post photo-heavy blogs - what a time-consumer!

There's other fun stuff like my talking "Brian" - push a button and he says things like "Who's leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?" or "Don't make me beg." Or like the bubbles, and zen-garden which are actually not front-and-center, although the flying monkeys are usually tucked away unless in use. Or my "idiot mug" of a pen-holder, and the Killer-Bunny stapler. But I'm tired of taking pictures, downloading them to the computer, then to the blog. Geez. You guys get a lot of credit!

...and this was a great diversion, and hopefully more fun to read than the blog I was tempted to write, about my stalker, who I've now taken steps by talking to his boss, so that nobody is blind-sided if this continues and I have to go to HR! But I can't write it without sounding like I'm either a martyr or on a soap-box, so I decided to just play. - good idea!

UPDATE:
Just for Misty's benefit (since I can't put the picture in the comments)...

It's from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail, if you're wondering. I think I got it from the What On Earth catalog. (whatonearthcatalog[dot]com, I think)

Dela- Where?

Big things happening today.
Big things.
Expensive things.
Formerly controversial things that had to be done anyway, so got done.

We’ve got a new bridge.
…wait, let me try that again:
We’ve got A NEW BRIDGE!!!

One glance down at my “About Me” blurb shows I am in Delaware. (Second smallest state in the union, oh yeah!) I won’t go on about Delaware in this post, but here’s what people know, but don’t know they know: You’ve seen us! That is to say, most folks my age or thereabouts have seen that funny, campy, SNL-based movie “Wayne’s World” (Party on! Excellent!). Remember it? Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey? Lots of rock-n-roll? (Don’t even try to tell me you didn’t head-bang to Bohemian Rhapsody along with them!) I depart work, often, with a “Party on Wayne” to my coworker, who responds “Party on Garth”.
…which I guess makes me the uber-dweebazoid here. Wait. Hmm…

ANYWAY…That scene when Wayne and Garth are on the new set and are trying out the green-screen? They dance around like cowboys in front of a picture of the Alamo, do the hula in front of the beach, a couple other things, and then a background of [a postcard of] Delaware comes up and they can’t figure anything to do. Haha. (Chickens and Credit companies, that’s what we do in Delaware. Chickens and Credit.)

ANYWAY…That background was a common postcard when I got here. (I honestly haven’t perused postcard racks in a very long time, so I would HOPE it’s gone by now, for reasons which shall become clear.) The shot is of the Indian River Inlet Bridge. The inlet itself connects Delaware’s inland bays to the Atlantic, and is a vital traffic conduit between the various beach resort towns. But...
We have a new bridge.


Voila! ...wait! My upload totally didn't work! It put my picture of the new bridge at the top! How lame. to continue:

See? Totally different. Well, of course the cranes are still up in this picture, which is distracting. They are coming down today.

I could give you all kinds of history about why the new bridge was necessary (and not just a fancy upgrade, as some contended) or link you to a (to me) fascinating stop-frame video of the construction, but that link would slow down this site, I’m sure. It took seemingly forever to build so with one photo per day, it’s a long video.

Oh yeah. It’s a big deal. They’re making a big thing of the governor being the first person to drive over it.
So I guess, happy Delaware! Now let the destruction of the old bridge begin.

p.s. I’ve been obsessed/fascinated by bridges since a young age. Sorry if this seems kind of lame, but it’s been intriguing following this process.

p.p.s. other awesome bridges include the Bay Bridge and especially the Bay Bridge Tunnel. Maybe living on a peninsula has fed my obsession.