Intimidation #AtoZChallenge.

I find I'm Intimidated to talk to my family back in the US. I know myself. I am judgmental. Especially right now when it is so clear to me - over here, near, you know CHINA - that they need to stay inside.
I'm Intimidated to ask if my parents and siblings went to a physical church service last Sunday. Or if they intend to do so on Easter.

In the Christian church, Easter Sunday is a big deal. As a Christian, Easter has always been my favorite holiday. It's the most significant, faith-wise. Christ's resurrection is, in fact, the very reason we have faith!

When I lived in the US, I was an active member of a church. When we moved to China, I lost that. Our first year in China, we tried to find a place to go to a Christmas service. We found that they they are such a huge deal and attract tourists, that some churches required you to show your foreign passports just to get in. We opted NOT to attend a Christmas service. 

In the past four years, I've gotten used to reading my Bible, praying, meditating, and not having that church community. I get that it's a transition process and most people living in a "free-religion" society are accustomed to attending communal worship. I get that the sudden change in societal rules does not make people suddenly comfortable to give up communal worship.

I'm Intimidated to ask any of my family whether they went to church on Palm Sunday. I'm not asking about Easter plans. My family is not too active on facebook, so if I don't ask, I probably won't know. Then I won't have to get in their face. Because I will. I'm mean. And as the 4th of 5, knowing that no one takes me seriously I sometimes get loud.

In the face of my Intimidation, since I can't say this to those I love IRL, please, please, PLEASE...

STAY HOME! 

Here's a thought. Worship at home. Zoom, Skype, Sing an Easter hymn without potentially contaminating yourself and dozens of others.

GOD gets it. God has asked us to care for each other, to consider those in need. Right now, we are all in need to be protected. We NEED to isolate.

Worship. By all means. Jesus lives, and that is an amazing miracle. 

But follow His lead and consider all the lives that touch yours. STAY HOME!

Letting Go

I'm learning to let go.

Well, I'm trying. All in the name of "being my best self."

Is your social media timeline full of fitness posts too? Maybe I've joined too many groups in the past, or maybe because I used to go to the gym regularly when we lived in the States, but I see motivation like this a lot:

A. Lot. Usually accompanied by images of my friends sweaty from a workout. Awesome! I love it. I love fitness. On some level, I want to be that dedicated to it, too.




And I want to be my best self. Don't we all?


Recently I had an epiphany. (Bear with me. It's kind of obvious and you probably already know it.) My "best self" depends on my inside, not my outside.

So now I read these motivational posts from my friends - who are trying to encourage others to be physically healthy - as motivation to be spiritually and emotionally healthy. I'm letting go of the focus on my flaws.

I do yoga daily, and I try to eat well, so I will no longer beat myself up about the quantities of pizza and beer I take in! I let it go.

If I don't get all the exercise I usually try for, who cares? I let it go.

I am reading a great book about God's promises and prayer. It helped me realize that focusing on my spiritual life is better for me than focusing on my physical attributes.

I meditate.
I'm working on mindfulness again. 
I'm learning to let go of things that used to bother me... Just this morning, I was concerned about 2 work-related issues from 2 different jobs, but realized that I have asked the questions I need to, and it is out of my hands. I let them go. 

The thing is, when I don't get emotional about things, I am truly healthier. When stress builds up in me, inevitably I get an ear infection or a nasty cold. Stress weakens the immune system... and a lot of other systems, to be honest! So I am truly healthier - being my best self - by focusing internally.

What I didn't expect? I look better, too. Getting fit - counting calories, weighing in, measuring my physical body - always focused on how far I still need to go. Focusing on my spiritual and emotional well-being? I'm happier with who I see in the mirror. I genuinely think I look better, although I'm sure I haven't changed physically. 
It's amazing.
You should try it! 

 *All images in today's post are from pinterest

Five Minute Friday - The Mental Journey is the Hard Part!

For today's post, I am following the one-word prompt from Kate at Heading Home. This has been a good way to keep me on track posting somewhat regularly. 
If you're interested in trying it, click that link to her blog. Every Friday is a new word, and the only rules are: Write for 5 minutes. Link your post on hers. It's pretty cool, and I find a new blog every week.
(Now if only I would make the time to revisit more often during the week.)
This week's one-word is "Journey".
Timer starting...
Moving to China was a challenge. It was a long journey through bureaucracy, before we even left the States, and that journey is ongoing.

But I have come to realize that the inner struggle is the hardest part. 

I spent this morning in prayer, watching a worship service recorded from back home, because I have no spiritual support in my present location. I know that this journey is only beginning, and God has plans for my husband and I. We need to be here. We prayed a lot about this before making the decision.

Little things have been battering at my inner peace.
Things like getting sick and not having my usual medicines handy.
Insomnia has finally thrown me for a loop, making me even question my sanity. 
Our small jar of peanut butter, as compared to the huge one we used to buy back home.

I cannot begin to guess what is to come. Our intention was to be here for years, as long as our health was fine. Perhaps God has other plans. 

The journey is not easy, but it is not horrible, and it is not over. I just have to mentally condition myself to remember to praise God for all things, and trust. 

Time's up.