Non-Fiction Friday on Sunday

No fiction this past weekend. I got Covid.

Actually, I think I got it last weekend. Starting on Sunday I had a tickle in my throat. Monday the tickle was gone, but I was sneezing a lot. I figured I had a cold. Colds move through my system more quickly here in the tropics than they used to up north.

By Wednesday I had a low-grade fever. On Thursday I told Brett that if the fever was still active the next morning, I should go get a Covid test. Friday morning we went to the clinic.

To be honest, I've been staying home and avoiding my husband since I started feeling bad, so it was less about diagnosing myself and more about the fact that on Sundays (today) I'm supposed to be at our school to help with homework. 

Not with Covid!

I tested positive, so Homework Help was off. Since I've been presenting symptoms for a week already, I figured a follow up test on Wednesday should be fine and I'll be back in action by the weekend. I'm sleeping on a cot in the living room, and Brett has been fine.

Until today. This morning he told me he has a sore throat. We can guess what that means!

Personally, I blame this on being social. On Thanksgiving we were down in the historic district of our town, hanging out with a new friend - a tourist who was only here a few days. That night, when we parted ways, I gave her a hug. We'd had fun! I felt like I had a new friend! Brett is not a hugger. He did not hug her. Days later I presented symptoms of what turned out to be Covid. 

This interaction is the only break in my usual social activity. I've messaged her to check on her health, but heard nothing in return.

And THAT, my friends, is as good a reason as any for me to remain a confirmed introvert!

 

Tuesday Trauma - And Then And Then And Then

Whew! I have good reasons for being absent lately, but I hope I'll be back soon. (not really "trauma" but, well, read on.)

You know about the bike accident. That was on a Monday.

And Then... that Friday we were called in for our 4th Covid shot. So I was standing around in a crowded "line" for an hour, trying not to get jostled. Walking was okay by then - slight limp - but if I stepped wrong or was bumped and twisted, I felt a twinge in that pulled tendon area. So I was a bit tentative and probably easily irritated. Plus it was hot and crowded.

And Then... we had set an appointment at a tattoo studio for the 25th. That was one week after injury and I was sitting and holding my leg still for about two hours. This appointment had been set a month ago. It wasn't too bad, didn't strain my injury much, but meant being upright and not elevating it for that time. I was still in the "rest and elevate" part of recuperating. So I rested it more in the coming days. Good thing I had planned to rest and not go too far afield, because things got worse. Not the leg, just in general...

(And Then...) It had actually started Monday morning, when I woke with a sore throat. Of course. Covid vaccine, Covid symptoms. I hadn't had too much pain around the injection site and counted myself lucky. Not so lucky, it turns out! The sore throat faded that Monday, and didn't keep me from my appointment, but the next day and the next were worse. And then the lungs (a bit), and then the sinuses. Stupid Pfizer. This mess is annoying! Astra-Zeneca was kind to me!

And Then... The daughter of an old colleague of mine from my theatre in Delaware has been in Vietnam a couple weeks, and this past Sunday they made it to my town! So of course we had to meet up so I could show off some of my favorite places! This lovely, fun, interesting woman was a kid when I was in Delaware, so I "knew" her, but only in the way a 20-something "knows" the kids that participate in an event with them. I think we were in Oliver! together, and maybe one of the Christmas shows. It was fun to catch up, but it became a very, very late night for us old fogeys!

And Then... Since the Covid jab side-effects started, I have not had a decent night's sleep even once. Well, maybe once. I thought I was out of the woods until I stayed out past midnight with the youngsters. Now I'm back on the insomnia circuit.

July has never been my favorite month. It's just traditionally not kind to me. Do you have a good or bad month of the year?

Now it's August. I have high hopes.

Tuesday Tirade

I am livid.

I recently joined a writing group, and found that I enjoy it. It's nice to write and getting immediate feedback. So I've been regular there for three weeks.

Yesterday, one woman - I'll call her Karen - came in and announced that her daughter has Covid. Her grown adult daughter who lives with her. The daughter had tested positive a week ago, but Karen had not gone to get tested yet. I don't know why not.

Two of us put on masks after hearing that, but no one left. In my mind, I was thinking, "This is a responsible adult. I know they have a large, 3-bedroom house. Maybe the daughter is self-isolating. Because surely she wouldn't come to the group otherwise."

Tonight, she posted in the groups chat that she has Covid.

Livid!

I believe Covid has a 3-day incubation period. (Yes? No?) So on Thursday I'll go get tested. I pray that I will be negative. I wore my mask, except for when I was taking a drink of coffee or water. I hope it was enough. But that was yesterday. If it wasn't enough, it's too late now!

Livid! Who does that? Irresponsible, careless people, that's who.

Catching Covid - #AtoZchallenge

I registered late for the A-to-Z blogging challenge this year, but I'm going to do it. In past years, I have done flash fiction inspired by readers' comments, and I'm happy to do that again, but this month the fiction will be peppered in amongst other random topics of my choosing. So suggest a story idea in a comment if you have one, otherwise I hope you will find my mental meanderings amusing! 

~~~~

My niece (26) caught Covid a year ago and said it was like getting the flu, only lasted longer. Her husband never got it. 

My mom (80 at the time) caught Covid and was asymptomatic the whole time. My dad never got it.

My husband caught Covid about three weeks ago (or that's when he tested positive) and I followed right along. But our Covids were different.

At first, he thought he had a chest cold. After a couple days, he said the constriction in his chest was worse than he usually got with bronchitis, so we went to get tested. He had it; I didn't. We isolated, and in a day or so, when my throat started feeling scratchy, I started sleeping in the living room. (It prevented the horrible waking-up stabby pain in the throat.)  That was the worst for me: a few days of sore throat. For him, even now that it's over his chest is tighter when he breathes.

A week after his positive test, we tested again. This time we were both positive. I continued sleeping in the living room. Two days after we tested positive, we had to go to a hospital in Danang for a government health check in order to get new work visas. At the hospital they were testing for Covid before allowing anyone in. Brett was negative, but I was still positive. So he could go in and do his government health check, but I had to wait. They put me in a separate room, checked my vitals and asked a hundred questions, but when he was done, we went home.

Now that he was negative, we didn't want to keep passing it back and forth, so I bleached everything we both handle all the time: door handles, window latches, the refrigerator, the electric kettle, the remotes... I moved the antibacterial hand gel to the table between our chairs in the living room. We agreed to be more diligent about hand-washing, too. And no more hugs. No physical contact whatsoever.

A week after I tested positive, we hit the local clinic to test again. Early. Got there when they opened at 7:30. (Because remember, I still needed my government health check) God be praised, I was negative, so we hurried up the road to Danang in the hopes that they would accept this test result and not make me test again and wait. They accepted it and by 9:00 a.m. I was on my way through the battery of screenings mandated for the work visa. Whew!

Now that we're negative, we're determined to stay that way. Ever cautious, we are still staying home more than going out... because we may need to leave the country to activate the new visas. Maybe. We're waiting on the final word on that technicality.

Have you had Covid? How did it impact you? Is it still a part of your life?

Tuesday Tales - Cabin Fever

It's been a week, so we went back for a follow-up test: Both positive.

We're being good. 

We're staying in. 

We have ordered delivery, and we place the money on the table in our front yard and watch and greet them from the front door when the delivery arrives and they leave it and take the money. (Both meals and groceries)  

We haven't gone anywhere. 

The other day, I stepped out the gate during a quiet time on our street, and it felt strange. But it was nice to be out of the confines of our house. 

We want to go out! We can order food in, but the store that delivers dry goods is not our local grocery, and we haven't seen our favorite vendors at the open-air fresh market in weeks! Not to mention just riding out for a cup of coffee or to hang with friends.

We feel okay! If not for the pandemic, we'd probably be out and about in public again.

Brett feels much better. Almost no chest constriction anymore, and no discernible cold symptoms. 

As for me, my sore throat is, as of this morning, gone. I've taken to sleeping in the living room on our tiny settee. (The British term feels more appropriate here, because it's not quite as big as a love seat, and half as plush. Maybe I'm mis-using the term?) Sleeping there has me at odd angles that seem to prevent my throat drying out and therefore eliminating the stabbing knives-in-the-throat feeling of waking up.

The worst "symptom" I've had has been a couple episodes of throat constriction. I guess that's what you'd call it. Although my breathing feels perfectly fine, once a day my throat would close up on me. Is it just the swollen, sore, throat expanding into itself? Was I not breathing consciously enough? I suddenly sympathize with asthmatics. Luckily, I still have a tiny bit of a throat spray I had picked up in Beijing, and that helped each time. (It tastes like spraying aluminum on your throat - yuck!)

I guess I'm kind of documenting all this here for future reference... Since the diagnosis, the symptoms, the prognosis, the warnings, all keep changing as time goes on. This is just my personal version of Covid.

 

Tuesday Tales - The Inevitable

It feels like just a couple weeks ago that I posted about the inevitability of catching Covid.

Welp, we did catch it.

No, not "we". Brett did. I'm negative (or I was when we got tested yesterday).

He had "a cold" for a couple days. It happens. Yesterday, when he mentioned that the chest constriction was different than he usually got, we decided to run out to a testing facility and "just check". It's the kind of thing we would expect others to do to be socially responsible, so we should definitely do it.

He's positive. I'm negative. I would not be surprised if I'm positive when we go back in a few days to test again. But all of my family members who have tested positive (three, I think) have had very mild cases, so I'm optimistic.

But the best part, or, the lovely element in this, is our neighbors. That amazing Vietnamese hospitality!

When we got home from the clinic, "Mom" - our landlady - was in the front portico of their house, watching her 2yo grandson. We waved from the fence and explained the situation, even showing her the papers of the test results. She speaks no English.

Then we went into our house next door and Brett got on his computer to update the people who needed to know. While he was in the back, "Mom" came to our gate with a grocery bag full of lemongrass, ginger, and limes, and a small jar of honey. She tried to explain (and later her daughter confirmed by text message) what to do with the items in the bag:

Cook the ginger with lemongrass (boil). Then add lime and honey. Drink it like a tea. They recommended that I drink it too. I'm sure it's overall good for health and good for the immune system.

Then another daughter came by later with a steam bath (face-steamer?) and said to cut into the reservoir garlic and ginger, and breathe it in until it stops. It's a small reservoir, so he didn't have too long to steam his face when he tried it last night. 

Later in the day, that same daughter came by with drugs - antibiotics and aspirin. 

I know that none of this is a "cure", but I have to say he slept better last night than the three previous nights. Also, he's drinking their tea when I make it everyday, even though he hates ginger. Something about people being so concerned for your well-being must light the "okay, I'll take your advice" fuse.

They added that if we need anything at all, to let them know. Fortunately, we're pretty well stocked up on groceries and things, because it was after the weekend and we had run all our errands.

When we first saw the results, we both agreed that I'd be doing all the running for a while. But then reality struck that as long as I am staying in the same house with him, we both need to be isolating.  It should be a fun week or so!

Tuesday Tales - A Matter of Time

I saw this sign on the gate outside of a house around the corner from us last week:

 

Basically, this house is under quarantine.

Their isolation sign is down now, but as we walked to the market this morning Brett and I counted three new signs on a different - higher traffic - street. We've ridden that street several times in the last few days and not noticed anything. I guess when you're whizzing by at pace with traffic, it's easy to miss.

Vietnam has taken a strong stance in containing Covid-19, including closing her borders, strict lockdowns in specific areas, and contact tracing. It wasn't until Delta came around that the disease began to get a toe-hold in this country so I believe the regulations taken have been effective.

But like many places, we are trying to re-open. Tourists are coming back slowly, and businesses that closed due to the pandemic are being called to reopen. Where I live is a tourist town, so logistically, many of the places that closed can't reopen until tourism is back up, but regular businesses can reopen. It's a good thing!

As the world begins to reopen and reconnect, I have come to believe that it's only a matter of time before I get Covid. I'm fully vaccinated - in fact the population of Vietnam is over 90% vaccinated now - and I do believe in the vaccine, in terms of the statistics showing that being vaccinated reduces the severity of symptoms when we all, inevitably, catch this disease.

It's only a matter of time. Until then, I wear my mask, I wash my hands a lot, and I try to keep my distance from others when I'm out and about. What else can I do? What are you doing?

Your New Normal

I don't know you. 

I don't know the myriad ways your life is different now from this time last year.

I've seen talk about a "new normal" and I've seen people protesting "not MY new normal".

Okay, Nostradamus. You don't know that. You can fight change all you want - and if you are one of the "not MY new normal" types, I would bet that you do - but that doesn't make it true.

So let's play "what if".

What if the current situation is your new normal for the foreseeable future. Could you manage? Would you be content?

Current situation overall means restricted travel, limited shopping - and most of it online, limited eating out - most of it delivered or take-away, virtual meetings, virtual education. What if that new norm sticks around? Could you manage with this in the long term?

Current situation specific would include your job, your current living situation - roommates, spouse, kids - your current location. What if nothing changes? Will you be satisfied? (and if not, what can you change?)

All this is inspired by a conversation we had in my house recently.

Of course, we want to travel. We were supposed to take a trip to the US this past June, and because of where we live, there are many ancient and interesting locations we would love to visit. Not to mention that I have friends and personal history in nearby countries. 

We cannot travel.

We do not know when - if ever - we will see any members of our families again.

And yet, we are content. If this is our new normal, it's fine. Better than fine, actually. We work online, and although hours and pay have been reduced, we're okay. We are safe, and we live in a beautiful place that has a climate that suits us. 

Everyone is different. I know some people would not be able to live so far from their families or from the comforts of the culture they are in. I get that. We've found we are happy here. We want to be able to go places, but if we are "stuck" limiting our travel to within the boundaries of Vietnam, well, that's still okay. 

What about you? What needs to change in your life, if anything?

Red's World

People are unpredictable.

I installed filters on my facebook. Not about political posts. This was before all political hell broke loose, and my filters were more to weed out the psycho Covid-hoaxers, the anti-maskers, basically the people who made the pandemic seem like an anti-American extravaganza, which, can I just say, that attitude is EXTREMELY offensive and off-putting to the ENTIRE WORLD who is also struggling with this? I mean, "check your white privilege"? How about "check your American ethnocentrism!" DAMN! 

Try watching the world news once... and not from an American network. Rant over.

ANYway, I set up these filters because I was becoming enraged on the daily, and anger is - well, a strong suit or a bad suit, depending on your perspective. Suffice to say, I've learned to keep it in check, but my poor husband is now the only one who gets to (has to) hear my rants when morons wax poetic on my facebook wall! And I don't gain anything from flying into a rage, either.

Thus, filters.

Since then, I have rarely seen anything from family members. Haha. They weren't the most active facebook people anyway, but it seems telling that the specific keywords I plugged in as filters might be blocking them. Were they my triggers all along? Or have they just not been posting much of late? 

People are unpredictable.

Recently I suddenly started hearing from a friend from high school and college. She's someone I had been in touch with sort of regularly - messenger mostly. We had supported each other through grief, all winter. Then in May she stopped responding to my messages. I kept sending things I thought would interest her, amongst regular chatty messages, with no response until a week ago.

She apologized with the "things are stupid here" excuse, which I get. No hard feelings, truly. The thing is, in the interim I've learned to get on without her contact. I responded to her first burst, but her latest 4 messages (all this past week) sit unanswered in my inbox. I've read them, but ... what's that song? "You've been gone so long I don't know you at all"? Something like that. Not really. It's just that with no interim contact our lives seem to be splintering in different directions.

My closest friend now, the one person I am in the most regular contact with, is an old friend from Junior High, who lives in India. We were friends on Facebook before and we started talking through WhatsApp when I lived in China. Now we talk about every other week. Maybe the fact that she has her own issues to deal with is refreshing to me. Maybe it makes me feel good to help her out. Or maybe it's the consistency of her friendship.

I know that everyone in the US is going through unbelievable crap right now. India too. But at least India isn't in the middle of political upheaval. I try to think of things like that and be understanding. Life is crazy and I'm in the sweet spot. 

I need to answer those unanswered texts. I hated it - felt abandoned - when she didn't respond to me for three months. Is "justice" or "vindication" a good enough reason to do the same to her? Whatever she was going through, she's past it enough to reach out. That's more than I can say for most of my family. 

Apart from the everyday being everyday, that's about it.

Oh, and a typhoon. This one wasn't as much as was expected. I should have predicted that. I'm used to hurricanes from living on the US east coast. Same deal here, but different. The storm made landfall way north of us, and the winds calmed down and broke it up a bit as it went. So... Nothing major to report weather wise. 

Stay safe out there. Keep your distance, please! I would like to visit my home country sometime within the next 5 years!

Life is Too Much

I can't anymore. 
I can't feel more than I already feel.
It's too much.

I spent a lot of words trying to make sense of my nephew's suicide.
Then I spent more words than I had access to, processing my sister's sudden death.

Covid hit. I used up as many words as I had trying to get friends and family in the US to understand that the pandemic is, in fact, real. It has, in fact, deeply effected countries around the world. It is ...
Never mind. I gave up on that fight. Ya'll are on your own.

Next came all the racist horrors that are igniting conversation. YAY! Finally, someone started saying, "Yes, I have white privilege. No, I don't agree with these racist actions. What can I do?" And finally, people are answering. Finally, people are coming together and helping each other. I found words enough for a blog post. I spoke as much as I feel might help. Not much, but hopefully people know I disagree with the brutal murder of an un-armed, restrained black man. I can't say a lot.

Then I started seeing on every social media: "Watch for the ones who are silent." Implying that silence = complicity. In some cases, it does. In some cases, we are simply exhausted! I can't feel anymore! I can't say any more. I just can't! I'm not sleeping because people thousands of miles away - people I do not know - are facing systemic injustice.

Ostracize people for silence about racism? Screw you. How about TALK to people who are silent and find out WHY they are silent. Then... choose your actions.

Yesterday was the birthday of my nephew who killed himself last fall. I have personal shit going on that nationwide riots will not change. So shut up. Shut up about thinking your issue is the only issue.  

I say this about everyone who pushes their issue and brooks no argument that their issue may not be foremost in the minds of every single other person. There are a lot of issues. Going 100% at every single issue that one feels for will KILL a person!

There is also a lot of personal pain. The fact that a person cannot give 100% to your issue when they are fighting other things at the same time... Please look at my few tweets and my blog post, and understand I have not, and will not, perpetuate the problem. But I cannot spend any more energy fighting a vast problem when I'm grieving and now on the brink of a depression of my own.

Watch for the ones who are silent.

HELP those of us who are silent!!!!

P.S. In a few days, we'll start seeing a spike in Covid cases in the US. Yippee. Yay for jeopardizing those fighting one issue in the name of fighting another issue. Which do I choose? I want to feel for both! I want to speak about both!
I can't.

I can't care.  
I'm dying from the inside out.

Ask me any questions you want, but don't judge until you hear me.

Zilch #AtoZChallenge

Zilch. Zip. Nada. 
That's how much communication I get from my family. 
Well, that's how much I feel like I'm getting from them.

I understand everyone is in a weird place right now, so no hard feelings. But... a little bit of hard feelings. I'm 8,000 miles away from my family, and I try to reach out, but I don't want to push. The last I actually heard back from a sibling was a brother, 3 weeks ago, and it was a single text. 

I called my mom on the 22nd, but that was really to say "Happy Birthday" to my young niece, and the conversation centered on that. Mom is doing the e-schooling for my two nieces while their dad continues working, so that is a very busy house. Conversations are short, understandably.

I was already thinking, after my nephew's death in the fall, that we all seem to be grieving separately, carrying our burdens on our own, without sharing the weight of them among the group. Surely that can't be right. (I know, there is no "right" grief, but it feels like we should hold each other up if possible.) He took his own life, and suicide is hard to talk about, but that makes it feel more important to talk about. Maybe I'm weird.


Then, after my sister's death in January, there was a little more communication. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that her kids bore the brunt of the grief, so there was more of a feeling that we should help? 

After Covid came on the scene, at first I was alone over here in Asia and everyone else seemed to think it was nothing. Now that they are in the thick of it, there's less communication than ever before. Zilch.

It's a little lonely, if I'm honest. 
I vacillate between a "screw them" and a "love them" attitude. 
Overall, the "no man is an island" philosophy seems to be more and more false for me.

It would appear that I am ending this month's challenge on a low note. That's not really how I feel. Just today, we went out to check on the beach - not the popular one, although it is reportedly sparse out there - I needed the sand between my toes and the fresh salt breeze. Glorious! I really do love my life. It would be nice to share more about it with the folks back home. I guess that's my point.

And that's life. Highs and lows. We all have them. I hope your month ended well!

Yes! #AtoZChallenge

What have you been saying "Yes!" to during this lockdown, when we are denied so many things we are used to?

Personally, I find that I have said Yes to reading. In the past month and a half I have finished 4 books, made progress in a long one that I have going, and I'm due to finish a re-read of Hamlet before April is out. That's pretty quick for me, because I tend to put writing time before reading.

I have said Yes to naps. This is not wholly unusual, but I'm doing it with greater frequency these days. Maybe I'm not sleeping as well at night, but still - Naps!

I am saying Yes to language study. I'm learning both Vietnamese and Mandarin. I have been for a while, but I'm more in the mood to study. Not much more, but my attitude about it is better, anyway.

What about you? Any new or renewed Yesses in your new normal?

Undead #AtoZChallenge

Anyone else exhausted from doing nothing?

In trying to think of a "U" word that fit the way I'm feeling today, "Undead" seemed the most applicable. I wake up with ambition. (I mean, not too much, let's be real.) But pretty soon I'm lying down again. 

Don't judge. I live in a tropical country. The whole place basically shuts down for two hours in the peak heat of the day.

Still. My energy never returns. Basically, if I don't do something in the morning, it's not getting done. I'm Undead by early afternoon. Since it's nearly 4pm at this moment, I really don't want to write much, so instead I'll share a suitable song. 

Personally, I prefer the Whiffenpoofs a capella version of "Re: Your Brains", but can't find a video version of it. This is still good ... well, the animation isn't, but listen to the words. Hilarious. Please enjoy a very funny song about the Undead.

Travel #AtoZChallenge

One of the first changes we made when we realized Covid-19 was going to have a huge impact on the whole world, was changing our Travel plans.

After I returned from my nephew's funeral in September, Brett said he had been thinking that we should plan a longer trip to the US for the summer. Time to see all of our family in happier settings. He knew that Traveling alone all that way, for such a heavy event, was hard on me, and we need to have intentional "this may be the last time we see you" visits. 

Then, my sister died, and we both Traveled to the US for that. It made it even more important for us to plan a trip for fun. 

We wanted to Travel in June. I usually start tracking airfares about three months in advance, and watch for price fluctuations. That was March. 

All Hell broke loose during that month, and we looked at each other and agreed. "We can't make this trip in June." Optimistically, I thought maybe October would be an alternative. My niece is getting married that month, and although we hadn't intended to make the trip, if we can't go in June, why not do it then? 

Now, however, unless things change in how America handles this pandemic, I don't think Traveling there will be wise. Even if the US opens its borders, that doesn't make every other airport we would travel through safe. With a US passport, we can go there anytime. But we live in Vietnam. Before completely closing our borders, Vietnam issued a list of nationalities that would not be allowed in. That was early on. China, Korea, Italy, UK... countries that were hit hard at that point were denied entry.

Even as the US began showing more cases of Covid-19, we were not on the list. (There was a lot of grumbling among expats about that preferential treatment, I can tell you!) Now, no international flights are coming in, and even domestic travel is heavily regulated. (Changing cities may result in 14 day quarantine, so only go if you MUST!) My guess is, as Vietnam eventually re-opens borders, they will do so gradually, with lists of acceptable and unacceptable passport countries. 

I expect that, with the current trend of this disease in the US, even in October*, the US may be in a questionable state. We will not leave if we can't return to our home.

*Because to Travel there, I need to get tickets early. It's not a trip you take on a whim, just walking into the airport and expecting a seat on a plane. So if we want to Travel in October, I'll need to start planning by the end of July. Hmm...

We're thinking June, 2021 sounds like a good time to Travel.

What trips will you take when you feel able to do so?

Statistics #AtoZChallenge

When I was in college, I was surprised to find that the course called "Statistics" fell under the banner of the Psychology department. I remember thinking "Aren't Statistics numbers?"

I never took the class, but I learned a lot about Statistics in a graduate course on research methods. Statistics, when considered for research, are a scientific tool. However, the presentation of Statistics often appears to be psychologically driven. Accentuate the part you want to draw attention to. The perception can change depending on how you say it.

Statistics are purest without a spin doctor. Here is a pure Statistic: 
On April 21, the US had 25,985 new cases of Covid-19. (Vietnam had 0.)

<All Statistics herein come from THIS website.>

Some people will look at that Statistic and think how great it is that the number is going down. (The day before was 28,123.) YES! That is good. It's progress. In my opinion, it is small progress, but the Statistic is... progress.

The number of new cases per day seems to be leveling out around 20-30k. But each day's new cases are piled onto the those remaining from before. 

On April 21, the US had 690,503 total active cases, up from 677,856 the day before. The number of active cases is still on the rise. 

I check that website  daily, just a quick peek at the world, and my home in Vietnam. (We are 5 days with no new cases. Bars and restaurants can re-open tomorrow.)

I see Statistics being spun all over the news. I don't listen. I look at them myself. 

To look at a more personal Statistic and my personal views on it...

When my sister died - wow, 3 months ago already! - it was ruled a heart attack. She now joins the Statistic of female deaths from heart attack. Known to be the leading cause of death for women in the US.

Certainly her heart stopped beating. But there was no autopsy. Her cardiologist had given her a clean bill of health just a week prior to her death. Was he wrong? How did she really die? Was it, in fact, a freak heart attack? We will never know, but to the American Heart Association, the Red Cross, and everyone involved in fundraising for heart disease, she is now one of theirs.

It doesn't really matter. She's dead. And that's why there was no autopsy. Does it matter? 

Regardless, I guess my point is: Be careful what you pay attention to. Numbers can be painted in various colors. Don't believe a meme. Look it up. Or, if you can't be bothered to check it, at least don't spread it!
 

Resolutions #AtoZChallenge

Did you make a New Year's Resolution for 2020?
How's it going?

It seems like a good time to check on Resolutions, don't you think? We're a quarter of the way through the year. A lot of people will have bailed on their Resolution already. Have you? And if so, why not take the time now to pick it back up?

I saw this on facebook yesterday. How perfect!

So, did you make a Resolution?

Generally, I don't do that (for a variety of reasons I'll not go into here) but this year there was one thing that jumped out, and I made one Resolution. I can't remember now exactly how I worded it, but basically I am going to be more diligent with my social commitments. You see, to me, there is no plan better than a canceled plan. That means I need to make plans with better care, so that I don't find a way to cancel them. One Resolution, two prongs: DON'T cancel (unless truly necessary), ONLY agree to a social commitment that I feel strongly about, no on-a-whim "sure, let's do that" type events.

Now, with everyone staying in - and if not, at least understanding of the concept - this is a very easy Resolution to keep!

I would imagine there are two situations happening regarding the world's 2020 Resolutions:

1. Resolutions that involve going out and doing something are not being kept. Exercise goals? Can't go to a gym, walks are cut short, unless you prepared a home gym = hard to keep.
Resolved to eat better? a lot of processed food on the menu, delivery is the safest option, unless you have a good source for fresh fruit and veggies = hard to keep. 
Resolve to travel more? Ix-nay. Not for quite a while, I'll bet.

2. Resolutions that involve staying in should be doing well. Read more? You have the time. Spend more time with family? In spades! (except for distant family)

So, what about you? If you made a Resolution, how's it going? Is it easier or harder in this new world paradigm?

Questions #AtoZChallenge

Back when I thought I'd be writing about grief, Questions was a logical Q theme.
So many Questions.

Then, I decided to add Covid-19 to my theme. It seemed even more applicable to write about Questions! 
There are so very many Questions about this disease. 

But you know what? 17 letters in, I'm getting kind of sick of this theme. The darkness, the weight of the subject matter, the daily reminder of difficulties, instead of escaping reality into my blog.

So instead I will ask random Questions for you to answer in a comment, or just think about, or ask others in your household during this time.

Totally random Questions (nothing personal):

If you watch TV, what's your go-to binge these days?

I understand some streaming networks offer "watch together" options, where you can get a bunch of friends in different places, and all watch the same show at the same time. Do you do that? Is it worth it? 

Right now, what is your favorite thing to do outside, in the short time you go out?

Typically, what is your favorite thing to do outside?

What will be the first thing you do outside when this is all over?

...Okay, I guess these are not totally random, but still related to Covid-19. Oh well.

Do you read? What are you reading? 

Are you satisfied with the food currently in your fridge?

Do you prefer strawberry or chocolate?

What games do you have on your phone (or tablet)... that you actually play?

I'm not being very imaginative, but there you have it. Q, for a day. I guess the obvious final Question is: Do you have any Questions for me?

People #AtoZChallenge

People are driving me crazy.

Which is weird, considering I am at home all the time now!

Nevertheless, I felt my heart racing dangerously as I read an absolutely INSANE conspiracy theory posted on the facebook wall of a friend from high school whom I know to be a sweet, intelligent, rational person. (I have no truck with conspiracy theorists.)

I have inherited my father's heart problems. I can't be reading inflammatory stuff that will give me a heart attack before I get out of bed in the morning! I know, why blame People? It's my own fault for opening facebook, especially before coffee. And that's the point.

I locked myself out of facebook for a few weeks recently, purely because of the People who live there. I don't mean the version of those People that I know in real life. IRL, People are generally pleasant! But, to paraphrase Shakespeare, "Facebook doth make fools of us all." It has taken a lot of strength of will for me to stop myself from responding to inflammatory posts in the past, but I have managed it.

This time, I could not refrain from responding. I love this girl. She was like a sister to me in high school. I had to tell her how sad it made me to read those opinions - which I believe were reposted from some other twit - on her wall. That's all.

Today may be the day of a purge. Time to block all the People who are proving to be a problem to my health and well-being. I might just unfollow the People who are simply sharing stupidity in their panic-induced insanity.

More often than not, I wish for solitude more than anything. People have not typically been a primary joy in my life. Why do I collect them on social media? 

I truly think I'd do well on a desert island. Who's with me?

OUT!!! #AtoZChallenge

"...And stay Out!"

Well, I'm not that mean, but we seem to be more diligent than our neighbors on keeping others Outside of our home. I'm sure it's partly in sympathy with our friends and family in the hard-hit USA. Here in Vietnam, we're just over 250 Covid cases, about 100 active, and we've been in the Covid game since China discovered it!

Yes, restaurants and bars are closed. We get delivery, but have to stay Out of those places.
Yes, if you try to go any distance beyond "local", you will likely hit a roadblock where you need to declare where you are going and why. No joy rides Out of the home circle.
Yes, everyone is wearing masks when they go Out.

But... our neighbors come and go more than we do. 

I would love to have the Australian woman from two doors down over for tea or something stronger - especially since her husband can't return from NZ yet - but I won't have anyone into our house. They all need to stay Out!

We have had conversations through the gate, or in the street, trying to maintain distance, and even in our yard, when the gate is open.

Because every day we have to open the gate. We have a lovely front garden, but I have a history of killing plants. So when we took this house our landlord agreed to maintain the garden. Everyday I open the gate in the morning, whether or not we are going Out, and at some point "dad" (the landlord) will come over with the hose, or pruning shears, and make sure the plants aren't dying. 

Sometimes the gate remains open all day. Then come the random visits when we need to try to politely encourage whoever it is to stay Out.

It feels rude. We believe we are being diligent. Are we rude? The alternative, I suppose, if we wanted visitors, would be to pry into where a visitor had been, how many people they had contact with, and inquire about their hand-washing frequency. That seems ruder, to me. My home is my haven. People Stay Out.

How strictly are you maintaining isolation?

Normal #AtoZChallenge

I read an article the other day advising that, rather than trying to keep life "as Normal as possible" while on lockdown, or isolation, or whatever you choose to call it, instead we should be finding a new Normal. Or rather, "accepting" that this may be Normal.

Here is the full article.

It's a good point. How much fighting against this situation is just wasted energy? If we could find ways to "be Normal" within the new parameters, and without raging against them, we might all be better off. Of course we don't expect lockdown to be forever, but it may be a lot longer than most people expect. Covid-19 is changing the world and the way we do things. How we work, how we study, how we shop, what we eat, international security measures...

The old Normal is no more. It will be no more. Oh sure, eventually we will be able to go shopping whenever we want, and we'll get together with friends when we choose, but so much will be different. Our minds are changing.

And that's okay.

Being non-productive at this moment in time is okay. It takes time to adjust. Allow yourself time.

A friend of mine started a new daily journal. I don't know if she's calling it a "Covid-19 Journal" but from what she said about it, that's what I'd call it. Every day, noting the weather, health, any major news, current home situation... basically status updates for adjusting to the new Normal in her own life. How beneficial it will be later when she can look back and see the difference. 

Is this a shocking thought for you? Do you rebel against the idea of a new Normal?