Tuesday Tales: Only in Vietnam

                                                                    Break My Stride

 Ain't nothin' gonna break-a MY stride!

Well, maybe something will.

Today, as I cycled home from my writing group, I took a corner too wide - avoiding two motorbikes riding side by side - and then saw a bicycle coming at me and over-corrected... right down the edge into a rice paddy.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Narrow lanes, unpredictable traffic, and I was jacked up on delicious Vietnamese coffee to the point that I had the jitters. It was a Perfect Storm of circumstances!

At least I landed in the soft, muddy rice paddy, and not in one of the concrete irrigation ditches! 

That's it, really. That's the story. 

Several people came to help me out of the mud. Two men from the coffee shop I'd just passed helped lift out my bike, and one of the girls I'd avoided as I turned the corner rode next to me as I walked my bike home. People really are lovely and helpful here.

My bike seems fine, but my hip is out of whack for now. And I did something to my right big toe - a cut? a bruise? All in all, it could've been worse. I know one woman who lost a finger in an accident. Although, she was on a motorbike. (One reason I stick to the bicycle.)

Anyway, I'm limping around the house today. That little accident has, in fact, broken my stride!

Buns of Steel

One of the great things about moving is all the stuff you find as you pack. Last week while packing a box of video cassettes, I came across my old Buns Of Steel video. This is the original, 1987 version with Greg Smithey as trainer, before it became a franchise. I set the video aside thinking I should try it one more time before deciding whether to give it to a thrift store or keep it.

Today was the fateful day.

Oh. How. Funny.

It is a good workout, and I’m sure I’ll be sore tomorrow, but Holy Hair, Batman! Full-on 80s “big” hair. Oh, and the leggings. awesome. The pictures here aren't great, but they give you the idea.

But the best, the funniest part of the workout were Smithey’s encouraging remarks.

“They’re gonna see you coming…” continuing in a lower, sexier voice… “and they’re gonna NOTICE you going!”

And with the tiniest leg-crunch:

“These are the baby ones. How can something so small…feel so...good!”

Crack. Me. Up.

Stretching one leg and getting ready to switch sides: “We do have to work the other side, or you’d be walking kind of crooked,” followed by a little chuckle and a waggle of his head like he told a funny joke.

(Can YOU touch your heel to your forehead?)

And my personal favorite:

“We’re gonna squeeze those cheeseburgers out of those thighs!”

I’d forgotten about the humor in this workout. I’m definitely keeping it now.

The funniest thing of all, after all is said and done, the thing that has me giggling out loud all day? Since doing this workout this morning, I have developed an occasional twitch. In my …uh…derriere! My right glute twitches involuntarily if I stand with my weight on that leg! At least, it has a couple times. Maybe it will fade as the day wears on...or when I get some beer in me. I haven’t even started any St. Patrick’s Day drinking, and I’m cracking up over my butt-twitch!

On that note, let me quote our tour-guide from the brewery and say “Drink GREAT beer, not green beer, on St. Patrick’s Day!”

…and please don’t drink and drive.

Nothing "Nerdy" About Fitness

Gather ‘round, New Years Resolutioners! I’m going to help you keep your resolutions this year!

At the gym this morning, I heard a 50-something, heavy-set guy complaining to his trainer about not losing weight. There were so many things I wanted to say, but it wasn’t my conversation. I know there are a lot – a LOT – of people who are going to give the whole weight-loss, fitness thing a go at this beginning of the year…Indeed I adjust my workout schedule in January to avoid the sudden crowds, which will inevitably thin out within a month. So this poor man’s dilemma inspired me – or maybe the trainer’s lack of insight inspired me – to share my experience.

No, don’t worry. I’m not self-indulgent enough to give a “my story” blow-by-blow. Just some hopefully helpful thoughts that you might not be thinking of as you embark on your industrious endeavors.

1. Your poundage WILL plateau. Don’t get discouraged! The dude at the gym was complaining that, although he was working out a lot, and had lost weight, his poundage was not dropping anymore. I mentioned a few days ago that I lost weight through a new program that will be available in the spring. This program used a special scale for weigh-ins that tracked things like fat % and pounds, and muscle % and pounds, and other things like metabolic age and BMI (but I’ve actually had a trainer tell me that once you are fit, don’t pay attention to the BMI, because as you build muscle your BMI will rise). Early on, after 3 or 4 weeks of weight-loss, my pounds didn’t budge for 3 solid weeks. It was annoying. HOWEVER, that lovely scale told me that my muscle mass was increasing and the fat was decreasing. YEEHA!

My suggestion? Take measurements. I still do 2 ab-measurements – one at belly-button, and one about 2 inches below. And shop for clothes when you notice your things start fitting loosely.
Break away from the scale!
My weight hit a plateau again later, before settling into its new range. But I’m still in smaller sizes than I used to wear!

2. Change up your workout. I don’t mean just weights one day, cardio the next, and so on in a continuouse cycle. If your usual cardio workout is a half-hour on the elliptical, take a week on a cycle instead, then go back to what you like and step it up a level. Trying new things works different muscles and shakes up your whole system. I have a coworker who runs several miles 3 or 4 times a week, but doesn’t lose a pound. He hasn’t altered his workout in years, and his body is just used to it. When I need a kick-start, I go to spin classes at my gym. I might only be regular at them for a couple weeks, but it helps.

All this is very non-technical. I have no expertise in training or physical fitness, just my own experience. And that brings me to observation number three:

3. No amount of exercise will off-set a bad diet. By all means, eat that cake at your nephew’s birthday party; just don’t eat the whole thing. It’s true that a high-protein, high-fiber diet will be more filling and less fattening than a high-sugar, high-carb, high-fat diet. Try it: for one week have protein for breakfast instead of that bowl of cereal. Amazing. And really, I don’t deprive myself. I like my food and my drink. It’s tough, but keep your goal in mind. Which brings me to a final thought:

4. If you’ve made a resolution to lose weight/get fit you did so for a reason. Try to remember that reason. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip-up on the diet, or backslide on the exercise. As far as exercise, something is better than nothing. If you’re not “in the mood”, just go for a walk – it gets you moving at least.

So go to it! Let 2012 be the year you achieve your resolution!