I'm...Sweet?? Must Be a Parallel Universe

What, me? Really?

That most famous of all Canadians Ken, known to most of you as Ken-inatractor has seen fit to bestow on me this new blog award:

That's a whole lotta sweet, dudes!

I would like to expound on how un-sweet I am, and explain that as a talented actress (and a P.K.*) I do a good job of playing the "sweet" part when that is the best persona to project. BUT...I realize Ken is not trying to imply that I am sweet, just that my blog is. Hmm...


*P.K., for those not in the know, means "Pastor's Kid". It means that I'm used to putting on my Sunday manners and showing my "good girl" side in random public.


How did this happen? This blog was meant to be a secret outlet for all my nerdiness! When I started waxing poetic in real life about Yoda and the Force, I could stop annoying those around me and come here to share with like-minded nerds. When I made random references to Warp Drives, Bones, Spock and the gang, and started saying things like "Beam me up", I could transfer it to this community. If I suddenly realized I had corrected someone's grammar one too many times, I could take that over here! This blog was going to have a lot of nerdification in the forms of Star Wars, Star Trek, books, and grammar deconstruction.


Where did I go wrong? How did this blog go all sweet on me? Is it over-ripe?


Oh wait, I know. I inadvertently fell in love with that wildly popular Transformed Non-Conformist, Brett. (Ken also bestowed this award to him. Coincidence? Nah. The Force.)

>sigh<
So I've gone sweet. It happens all the time.


Intentional or not, "Doesn't Speak Klingon" has been deemed an sweet Irresistibly Sweet  Blog, which means I have some important things to do here! The rules for this award are to list 7 random facts about yourself and pass it on to 10 other bloggers. Easy Peasey. (Please don't be offended if I call your blog sweet. Focus on the Irresistible.)


Since I'm positive the sweetest thing about this blog is my relationship with Brett, and because I don't post about us very often, I will post random facts about "us".


Seven Random Facts (For more random facts, see my 100th post):
1. We were both perfectly happy single people. Perfectly willing to remain so. TRUE FACT!
2. Brett claims to have "no game" and yet when we are out, he is by far the more socially adept of the two of us. TRUE FACT!
3. Two pictures of our wildlife hunt that I just couldn't fit into my post about our day in Indianapolis:

It's a Blue-shirted Cattail Hunter!

The elusive Rock-climbing Tree Monkey

4. I want to brag about him all the time. In the "nyanee-nyanee-boo-boo" way, showing off that I won first prize in the contest of life. ...Or is it bragging about myself to do that? (What a witty guy like Brett is doing with a dork like me I will never understand.)
5. On our first date, (read this one) the historical interpreter giving us the tour brought out a slate and a "slate pencil" and offered them to Brett to try writing on the slate. This was his message:

Didn't even stop and think. His is an instant wit.

6. No, Brett was not my reason for moving to the midwest. If he had been the cause, I wouldn't have stopped 150 miles short. TRUE FACT! ...but I consider him my Bonus for doing the right thing and moving closer to family.

7. I still have the card that came with the flowers. (If you haven't read that story on Brett's blog, you should. It's some great writing and a fun, "sweet" story.)




And now my Irresistibly Sweet bloggers:
(Some of us don't get out and explore the blogosphere enough to find new sweetness! I'll do my best.)
Lovely Simulacrum
Funny or Tragic
Sweety Darlin' (It's in her title!)
A Holly With Follies (always "irresistible", sometimes "sweet")
Jenny of The Internal Struggle - I just found her - or rather, she found me.
Thoughts Appear (Her posts are short and sweet. If I'm pressed for time, I can just stop here.)
Amanda at Tall Tales and Short Stories (She can be pretty random, which I love.) 
Life at 30 Feet (If you read nothing else, read how she wound up where she is.)
Josie Two Shoes

Ken, in thanks for this delicious award, I present to you this picture of genuine Indiana redneck lawn-art...


Every time I see a tractor, I think of you, Ken!



My Surreal Daily Grapplings with Death

I lost my balance and nearly slipped in the shower this morning, which led me down a train of thought something like this:
If I fell in this tiny shower, I would fall out of the shower and knock my head on something. If I was knocked unconscious, or lay bleeding to death on my bathroom floor, how long would it take anyone to notice?
See, being single and living alone, I consider these things often. I’m totally comfortable thinking/talking about death – some might even say “cavalier” – not in a morbid or gory sense but in a death-is-a-fact-of-life sense. If you are not comfortable with the subject of death, maybe this post is not for you. …See you tomorrow!

Anyway, I played out my train of thought this morning:

They weren’t expecting me on time at work today because I was taking my money pit of a car to the garage first thing, and had left the message that I’d just call today when I knew how long I’d be. So... what, would they try calling me at noon, or when? We’re pretty relaxed at work about a person’s time away from the office at this time of year. Maybe I’d get a text late in the day instead, or maybe everyone would just think that someone else had checked in with me! Depends how busy the day is. So it’s not inconceivable that I could be lying on my bathroom floor bleeding to death until tomorrow morning, and even then, late enough in the morning for people to wonder why I hadn’t called!

Then I remembered I have dinner plans tonight, with the same person who is my emergency contact, as it happens. So if I was non-responsive to her texts during the day about time, pizza toppings, etc., she would probably actually come by the house and peer in some windows, or even – because she’s that kind of go-getter – talk to my neighbor about getting into the house. That would be much better, because if the two of them discovered me, at least it would be two women who know me reasonably well who would discover my naked, battered body…and the shower still on, running water everywhere! (Important, because they could turn off the water and discreetly cover me up until paramedics/coroner arrived.)

I run these scenarios a lot. Anytime I go on a trip – road-trip question: Who would know if I was in a fatal car accident lying literally dead in a ditch somewhere? Air-trip question: Who would the airlines notify if my plane went down? Or just at home – I wake up coughing and take a coughdrop, then what if I choke to death in my sleep – who would know? I am forever breaking glasses (I bought two sets of wine glasses just to have extras) – what if I couldn’t stem the bleeding, or passed out from it before calling 911, and bled to death on the kitchen floor?

…and somehow it seems odd to me when others think I’m being morbid. I once told my mom about the train of thought when I flew out to visit them, and she gave her nervous laugh and said something mother-y about my dark mind. I told my sister I want her to read Psalm 19 at my funeral – because I do! – and she still hasn’t responded. It’s a compliment, because she has a great voice for reading aloud, but maybe it’s just too weird for her to think of her little sister’s death…and I guess being asked to read at someone’s funeral isn’t the same kind of compliment as being asked to be a bridesmaid at their wedding!

I really don’t know where I’m going with this. I'm not sorry to have to think like this; I'm not wishing for a change in my single-status so that someone else could think of these things - I'm happy being single, and that's the truth! I guess it's just one of those things that make me wonder... and if no one else thinks like this, maybe it's one of those things that raise my freak flag, too. Hmm...

So I’ll just close with a very good quote from a very wise man: “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not.”