I've Been Found Out!

That's right, dudes. I'm no longer a truly anonymous blogger.

 
My sister, Hestia, found me. (She objects to my name choice, by the way, but really, it's based on my perception, as a sibling six years her junior.)
 
It was bound to happen. I was wondering who would be first. That's what I get for dating the wildly popular, funny, and famous Brett, the Transformed Non-Conformist! Here's how it played out (I think):
 

1. Two weeks ago, Hestia's family were visiting, so I invited Brett to come over for lunch and the afternoon.
2. Having finally met him, a few days later Hestia friended Brett on facebook.
3. Brett repeatedly posts links to his new posts on his facebook page.
4. Hestia is computer savvy, and started reading some of these posts.
5. Sometimes Brett links to my blog in his post, which is great, but I'm not sure if it was through a link or through one of my comments that Hestia then connected to Doesn't Speak Klingon.
6. Initially, it would seem that, finding my blog - and possibly reading a current post? - she saw the tab ^ for "The Saga..." and went to find out our story in more detail than I had provided in person.
7. Brett and I both noticed we were getting new comments from "anonymous" on the posts linked to there, and from the comments it was obvious who was writing them.

 
I tried denial: "NO! You're using the word 'sis', like guys use 'bro', right?" (Hestia, you may not realize it, but both Brett and I actually reply to comments on our blogs, so if you post a question there, it will be answered.)
 
Last night, we talked, and she confirmed - in case I needed it - that she found me. She said that after starting with the Saga, she is reading my blog from the beginning, because her brand of OCD (we all have one) insists on going start to finish. She will do the same with Brett's no doubt, once she is more familiar with his particular snarkiness.
 
She has promised not to out me to anyone else.
 
She assured me there is no judging going on. (a big reason to be anonymous, no?)
 
She has, furthermore, offered her editing services for the book version. HA!
 
So, "Hestia" - If you don't wish to use the alias I have kindly provided, you are welcome to use your own name, just don't use mine. I do not use the real names of anyone I know, because they don't have the opportunity to defend themselves, but now you do. ...and btw, people might not recognize "Hestia" but the alternative, Roman version is "Vesta" and I already know a Vesta. You should really check her out at The Cowardly Feminist in my blogroll. (or right there in that link) Anyway, I couldn't use Vesta. OR...you could pick your own other suitable deity, to use when commenting. Since Anonymous is so...anonymous.

Hestia would make a good blogger, I think. Not just as a "mommy-blog" for a mother of two teens, but based on comments she posts on facebook, she seems to see an interesting cross-section of humanity. ...in the same way that Misty of Misty's Laws sees an interesting cross-section, but Hestia notices the crazy things people say and do more than the crazy things they wear.

Anyway, it's been a whirlwind couple days coming to terms with being "out", and trying to run through my blog in my mind and think of all the questionable things I might have said. Well, if she doesn't want to know it, she doesn't have to read it!

Aphrodite and Denial

Disclaimer:

This will not be a funny post. Sorry in advance. If you’re looking for humor, I recommend Of Axe-Murderers and Other Creepy Folks, Reply All = EPIC FAIL, or if you’re a sci-fi nerd, maybe Star Trek: 2013… wait, WHAT!?!.  Or peruse my blog roll. Most of those bloggers make me laugh! Sorry I’m out of humor today. I had a post all set to go, because the Movie Whore resurfaced over the weekend, but she’ll have to wait.

Anyone still here? Then, read on…

There’s this river in Egypt that runs past the tombs of the Pharaohs, and empties into the Mediterranean Sea. You know it? Of course you do. We’ve all been there. Funny how quickly we forget.

Well I just got my wake-up call to rouse me out of that river.

Last night I had a meltdown. I won’t go into the details, but…well it’s hard to say anything about the cause without going into detail, but the details are long and boring. The cause isn’t really important, anyway, but after it happened I drove up to Aphrodite’s house in tears. (For the full pantheon of my life, see this post - there’s a quick cheat sheet at the bottom.) While driving, I recognized my De-Nile!

There IS a certain stress to do with packing up and moving your life across country, no matter what the logic behind the move, and no matter how positive the expected outcome is. I’ve been so busy parading around in my big girl panties doing the “I’m tough enough” dance that I didn’t realize I was on a sail barge through Moses’ birthplace!

I’m not ignorant of the need to “grieve” the place one is leaving. Indeed, I had made a list of places and things I need to see or do before leaving. I couldn’t turn the list into any kind of interesting blog-post, but I believe in closure on anything I may miss out on. In Indiana I expect to miss things like walking on the beach, visiting the Smithsonian, going to Hersheypark… I guess that’s neither here nor there.

ANYway, I got to Aphrodite’s and she understood the reason for my meltdown. She did NOT say, “you must be smoking crack to do that”, but gave me advice on next steps. There was a legitimate action that had upset me (it wasn’t simply overwhelming stress) and I need to address the person responsible. I cried; she listened. Aphrodite is an outstanding listener.

Gradually the moment passed and we moved on to other things, like her poor dog’s bad leg (ACL?)…the dog was snuggling up to me the whole time – recognized my distress. Animals can be amazing.

I want to stress that I AM NOT a waterworks factory! Aphrodite is one of an extremely small number of people who have seen me cry. This wasn’t me. I started to say I should go. She asked if I needed help packing or…anything. God bless Aphrodite! 

And thus we arrived at the “moving” issue, and why I'm going, and how lucky I am to be able to uproot myself, and pretty soon we were all cry-ey and huggy again. Guh. I hate tears. They’re my worst look.

But AH! Catharsis! I’ve never been able to talk to Aphrodite properly about my wishes to leave – for the past couple of years. It’s been a stumbling block to me in our friendship. Now, we understand each other.

It was a very rough night for me. But needed. I realized while overcoming my denial that I’ve been bargaining all along, too. As I tell people I’m leaving, I leave it open: “I’ll be back!” …yeah, next February for the Polar Bear Plunge, at least. Why am I doing that? What’s next? Anger? Maybe I got through that step with this meltdown. I sure hope so.

That’s all it was, but my heart hurts this morning. I’ll recover, don’t you worry.

Tune back in tomorrow when the Movie Whore will make another appearance!

OH! And your reason to celebrate? (you thought I forgot...)

Ostara – a pagan festival that basically means “spring is coming”.

OR, if you’re more conventional you could just celebrate the equinox. Similar, but astronomical, not pagan.

UPDATED X2(photo): If You Met My Family You'd Understand!

In the interest of being a little more open, I’m going to try to input some slightly personal stories into this crazy blog-thing. Don’t worry, they will likely still be nerdy enough to be “me”.

But before I get to the stories, I’d better acquaint you with the cast of characters. (Indulge me in my pantheon.)

Mom and Dad need no explanation. They are who they are, and I am them. All will be made clear.

The sibs. There are four.

The brothers: For the sake of “protecting the not-so-innocent”, let’s call them Zeus and Poseidon. They get along about that well. Zeus is my older brother. He walks on water, but doesn’t every girl’s big brother walk on water? Poseidon is younger than I. He has chosen to disassociate from the family, for reasons that are somewhat vague (which makes me more of a “baby girl” without anyone younger around). My S-I-L, Zeus’ wife – so, Hera? – and I both think that Zeus and Poseidon should be able to get along much better than they do – well, did until Poseidon got his knickers in a twist a few years ago. They are both musical (Zeus as a high school music teacher, Poseidon as a guitar player in a band), they both served in the military in the middle east (Zeus in Desert Storm, Poseidon more recently in Iraq), and they both quote Monty Python ad nauseum, with the accents exactly perfect (Zeus restricts himself to The Holy Grail – he does an amazing sorcerer “Tim”, Poseidon knows more of the sketches).

The sisters: (If I posted pictures of myself here, I would put up the picture of the three of us making mojitos in the hotel bathroom out in Iowa for Grandma’s 100^th birthday. We each added it to our facebook pages, and we each – without consulting each other – captioned it with a quotation from Macbeth’s “Three Witches” scenes.) In the continuing Greek pantheon naming-vein, I must refer to my eldest sister as Hestia - goddess of hearth and home - because for as long as I can remember, that’s all she wanted: marriage and family. Hestia and I go for weekly Sunday evening walks, weather and schedules permitting. We each get out our cell phone and she walks her dog while I walk on the beach. My other sister, the Middle Child, shall be known henceforth as Diana, the goddess of the hunt…because she always has me in her sights. After about a day and a half in each other’s presence – two if you’re lucky – Diana will blow her top at me. I don’t know why. Usually nobody knows why and I get a lot of sympathy. I must just grate on her nerves so much that the effort required to get along for two days exhausts all her good will.

(UPDATE 2)
Case in point:

...See the one with the scowl? That's Diana. See the one grinning in her general direction? That's me. There are multiple photos like this. We are seldom both happy in the same photo. (Since Poseidon is in this one, I must be about 4.) 

Birth-order Pyschology – a case study (see? I’m still being a nerd)

Are you familiar with this concept? Allow me to enlighten you. Our family has it all: Eldest daughter (Hestia), eldest son (Zeus), middle child (Diana), baby girl (me) and baby boy (Poseidon). I make the gender distinctions because I haven’t met a parent yet that treats their daughters and sons EXACTLY the same. You can’t. We’re different.

Although Hestia is technically older than Zeus, Zeus has always been his own boss. So when Mom and Dad would go out, Hestia was left in charge, but Zeus was left in charge of himself. It was the only way it could work. He got into a lot of trouble, as I recall, but never took anybody down with him. So we have the two eldest being the “responsible” ones. Standard textbook birth-order psychology right there.

I actually do feel sorry for Diana’s situation. Classic birth-order conundrum: She is exactly in between Zeus and myself, but was usually lumped with me and Poseidon in the kids v. grown-up argument, yet given the “you should know better” scolding if we younger three got in trouble. She also was stuck with me tailing her around. Zeus did not have Poseidon tailing him because they are 7-years apart. I now know that I was just trying to emulate Diana – which I could never do because she’s always been a goddess at everything – but all she knew was that I was a pest. Whereas Zeus got himself into trouble on his own, Diana dragged me down with her – because she couldn’t lose me! I was easy to coerce into breaking into Hestia’s room, for instance. (...which is the last such crime I remember. I got a spanking and vowed never to go along with Diana’s schemes again.)

Poseidon usually teamed up with Diana against me. They both admit this. I don’t know if this is birth order psychology, but it certainly helped me learn to get along on my own!

Hestia SOOOO babied Poseidon. Because of the vast age difference, she is holding him on her hip in my 5^th birthday photos. Responsible brother Zeus considers baby-bro Poseidon completely spoiled, whereas Poseidon feels abandoned for having to go to boarding school. We all went to boarding school, but Poseidon had a longer time with Mom and Dad to himself while we older sibs were away at school, so I guess when he went to school it was harder for him. I don’t know. For a brief period, when Poseidon and I were both living in the Chicago area as “adults”, we could hang out. I thought we had fun. It really hurts that he’s pulled away from us all, but there you have it: the “god of the sea” is stormy and unpredictable.

(Here endeth the lesson)

Finally, I’m adding to my cast of characters my best friend, who shall be called Aphrodite because she’s the lovingest, givingest person you could ever meet. Anyway, I added her as a “sister” on facebook, so she must be family! It’s important that I give her a name, because especially as I near my moving date, she will certainly figure into this blog with regularity. She’s the one thing – if anything – that has kept me in Delaware as long as I’ve stayed.

Now that you know the characters, there are several stories that can be told, but you have a voice: Is there any character in the pantheon of my life that you want to know more about? Any relationship? Or does anything I’ve said above pique your interest about…anything? Got a better suggestion for name selection?  Let me know in a comment and I will oblige as best I can.

UPDATE (suggestion of Bozo): A summary.
Mom & Dad keep their names "Mom" and "Dad"
Hestia = Eldest Sister
Zeus = Eldest Brother
 ~~~ Hera = wife of Zeus
Diana = Middle Sister
(Red remains "Red")
Poseidon = Baby Brother
Aphrodite = Best Friend