17 March, 2012

Buns of Steel

One of the great things about moving is all the stuff you find as you pack. Last week while packing a box of video cassettes, I came across my old Buns Of Steel video. This is the original, 1987 version with Greg Smithey as trainer, before it became a franchise. I set the video aside thinking I should try it one more time before deciding whether to give it to a thrift store or keep it.

Today was the fateful day.

Oh. How. Funny.
It is a good workout, and I’m sure I’ll be sore tomorrow, but Holy Hair, Batman! Full-on 80s “big” hair. Oh, and the leggings. awesome. The pictures here aren't great, but they give you the idea.

But the best, the funniest part of the workout were Smithey’s encouraging remarks.

“They’re gonna see you coming…” continuing in a lower, sexier voice… “and they’re gonna NOTICE you going!”


And with the tiniest leg-crunch:
“These are the baby ones. How can something so small…feel so...good!”


Crack. Me. Up.

Stretching one leg and getting ready to switch sides: “We do have to work the other side, or you’d be walking kind of crooked,” followed by a little chuckle and a waggle of his head like he told a funny joke.

(Can YOU touch your heel to your forehead?)

And my personal favorite:


“We’re gonna squeeze those cheeseburgers out of those thighs!”

I’d forgotten about the humor in this workout. I’m definitely keeping it now.

The funniest thing of all, after all is said and done, the thing that has me giggling out loud all day? Since doing this workout this morning, I have developed an occasional twitch. In my …uh…derriere! My right glute twitches involuntarily if I stand with my weight on that leg! At least, it has a couple times. Maybe it will fade as the day wears on...or when I get some beer in me. I haven’t even started any St. Patrick’s Day drinking, and I’m cracking up over my butt-twitch!

On that note, let me quote our tour-guide from the brewery and say “Drink GREAT beer, not green beer, on St. Patrick’s Day!”

…and please don’t drink and drive.

17 comments:

  1. I wonder if he wrote those lines thinking they were funny or said them in the moment.

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    1. It totally comes off sounding spontaneous. Especially the cheeseburger line, because then as the "students" correct him on what they really want to squeeze out of their thighs, he adds on "...and those french fries! ...and that cheesecake!"

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    2. Oh, I'm sorry! Did I write cheesecake? He says carrotcake.
      ...but you can have them both. I'll take the spice cake.

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  2. Such an entertaining video. And you'll be pleased to hear that I sat up, (I'm lying on my back with my laptop on my stomach), and tried to touch my heel to my forehead. And I could do it... hurray! The thing is, this feat doesn't so much give credit to me - rather it discredits the video lol... I think I better get myself a copy.

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    1. I'm glad to know you tried it...I wonder how many others will!
      I don't think that discredits the video, though. Most flexible peole probably can, and the purpose was to stretch out that muscle. Do you do yoga? That makes a person pretty flexible, I think.

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    2. That's funny. I had to try it too. I can still do it.

      Who says TV doesn't influence people?

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    3. It's fun to think of people reading this post and suddenly stopping to try and get heel to head. I hope everyone is goofy enough to attempt it.

      No, I don't do yoga - actually, I don't do anything right now. I did a few years of namesake martial arts when I was a teenager - but that feels like a long time ago now...

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  3. I'm fat but flexible, so I can do it, too. :D

    That is one video I never tried, but I think I had only seen the franchised ones with the chics dong it. An actual videotape, though. Wow! What a relic that is. I'm more impressed that you still have a VCR to play it on.

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    1. This delights me no end, thinking that so many people are sitting at home testing their stretchiness! Maybe with a beer in hand?

      My own test is if I can reach my forehead to my knee with my leg stretched straight on the floor. I know I need to step up my exercise, because it's hard to flex to my right knee now. (The opposite leg should be bent, just the leg you're trying to reach is straight.)

      And yeah, when this VCR dies I'll need to replace some videos with DVDs, for sure.

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  4. Might see if I can find that on Youtube :p

    I have plenty of cheeseburgers to squeeze out

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    1. The American contribution to world cuisine!

      I think e-bay might be a better bet, though. It's a 50-minute video.

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  5. They don't make work-out videos like they used to. :P

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    1. Haha. True. Somehow everyone takes fitness more seriously, so there's less humor in them now.

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  6. Oh, I remember this VHS. My mother had this and used it in the 80s, and at the time, I didn't think it was weird. Now, all I can think of is "Dear 1980's, what the hell were we thinking? Sincerely, everyone."

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    1. Your note to the '80s made me laugh.
      You'll like my next post about the brewery tour.

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  7. I actually just did this workout yesterday and it was excruciating!!! And today I started getting sore as the day wore on and its getting pretty painful now. I expect it to to be worse in the morning.

    I did this tape in the 90s with my roommate and it was tough then too. Yes the styles are outdated and his comments are funny but they seem sincere and relatable. But its the best workout tape ive ever done so decided to order it to try it again. This is seriously the best butt workout ever! I can't wait to do it again tomorrow! Ouch!!!

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I enjoy a good debate. Feel free to shake things up. Tell me I'm wrong. Ask me why I have such a weird opinion. ...or, just laugh and tell how this relates to you and your life.