13 March, 2012

To Live and Love in the Blogosphere

I feel so loved! With all apologies to my dear internet fiancé Brett, you’ve got some competition. I have a brand new lesbian lover!

Sarasaur (of Tangled Skein ) is back from a blog-hiatus and as she was catching up on my postings she left me this little gift in the Comments to “Of Axe Murderers… ”:

The final line to this post makes me love you even more. If you didn't already have an internet fiance (who is probably not an axe-murderer)and I wasn't engaged in real life, and my bread was buttered that way, I'd propose myself.

The “final line” she’s referring to is:

If all my tight-knit defenses are the Death Star, then I just shot a photon torpedo into my own 2-meter thermal exhaust port. Doggone it.
Ah! Another Star Wars nerd! No one else seemed to catch my A-MAZing Star Wars metaphor. …of course, that post had a lot in it – my defense of my extreme caution, a stalker story – there were great comments even without a Star Wars recognition. (My fellow nerds apparently didn’t visit that day.)

But now, in addition to my intelligent, witty Internet Fiance, I have a witty, sci-fi nerd of a Lesbian Lover! Awesome. I mean, don’t get me wrong, to paraphrase Sara “My bread’s not buttered that way” but I’m honored all the same.

Come on ladies, we all do it! We have all had the thought “If I were a lesbian…” or wondered if we’d be attractive to the same sex. …uh, haven’t we all had that thought? Yes? No?

Maybe it’s me. There’s a large, active, gay community in my region, so it’s not an unlikely thought. Also, some of my oldest, dearest friends from my pre-Delaware days are gay or lesbian, and these friends are better at relationships than I am, so more power to them! …but this isn’t a political rant about gay marriage (...which I am for, in case you’re wondering).

Some personal observations:
A couple years ago, when a bunch of us were out for Cinco de Mayo, I walked in on a lesbian couple kissing – deeply – in the ladies’ room. It didn’t bother me, except that I had to squeeze to get around them.

Another time, working my “fun” retail job on Black Friday: sometime around o’dark-thirty, a couple girls – teens? Early 20s? – were following what seemed to be one of their mothers. The girls weren’t really shopping in our store, just waiting for mom. Clearly bored. Next thing I know, they’re all over each other.

Yes I watched, surreptitiously. It was fascinating! They were in my line of sight, and anyway – like any chick wearing a too-low top or a too-short skirt - if they didn’t want to be observed, they wouldn’t do it in public.
No, it didn’t turn me on.
…but it didn’t bother me, either. I had the stunning revelation that I would be more offended by a heterosexual couple groping each other in public. I don’t know why.

Most (straight) women my age have been married at least once by now. (Don't ask my age. I won't answer.) I just could never be bothered to put in the effort at a relationship. So I asked myself if maybe I was barking up the wrong tree. Maybe my gay and lesbian friends were waiting for me to notice something in myself that they already knew, but were too nice to force the issue.

So I forced the issue on myself: I sat in my silent house one evening, closed my eyes, and imagined. I have a good – some would say overactive – imagination. I imagined what it would be like to “be with” another woman. Open your mind, Red, would you like that? Could you do that?

…Nope. Sorry. Here’s the thing: I already have a full complement of girl-bits! What do I want another set for? Nah. Got my own; don’t need yours, lovely though they may be.

But the fact that two different people from two different sexes appreciate what I put down in this blog – enough to want to propose! – makes me warm and tingly all over. To be valued for what’s in my head …or more to the point, what’s spilling out of my head …Delicious!

I don’t mean to offend anyone (but if you’re offended, please comment!). I’m not judging – be with who you love! I adore my Lesbian Lover and Internet Fiance equally.

Next week: Who would win in a “virtual” cage fight: My Internet Fiance or my Internet Lesbian Lover?

p.s. Posts like this one are why my family’s not invited to my blog!


  1. I like everyone, whether they're lesbian, gay or straight (or anything else that I can't think of). I have tried to imagine being with another girl/lady/female/woman (whichever word you like) myself - but never got very far. Then I tried imagining being with "my guy" and another girl (if he were so inclined) and I couldn't handle that either lol...

    I guess we're each just made a certain way and it doesn't work to try and break through what's natural for a particular person.

    About Star Wars - I like it but I'm not crazy about it - however, my cousin and her husband are. They attend conventions all over the country etc... and for their son's first Halloween, they dressed him up as Yoda, (pretty brilliant actually lol)

    So does having cousins who are nerds about it count for something?

  2. I don't judge on sexual preference... or Star Wars preference, for that matter! You be you. I was not bothered about the star wars thing because the comment discussion was rich enough without it. Sara's llove was just a bonus surprise.

    1. Well that's what I figured - but I was just trying to milk the post for more attention ;-)

    2. LOL. You're such a blog-whore! But I love you anyway. Everyone reading this should definitely check you out!

    3. Muhahaha.... you have no idea! Blog-whore am I... the blood of blogs is what keeps me going right now.

      Actually, I just have way way way too much time on my hands for the moment; which is how I manage to maintain a near permanent presence at the blogs I follow.

      And anyway, in real life people don't humour me as much as all of you! lol

    4. Good lord! I'm waiting and waiting for Brett to respond to the kiss issue on his blog - but so far nothing! It's all I can do to keep from responding to your feedback myself lol...

    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    6. lol...Don't do that! Give him some time. It's mid-afternoon here, and he may have things to do that require him to be away from his computer.

      He will respond. You can be assured of that, because he always responds to every comment. Please be patient - I want to know his thoughts!

      (since Train mentioned "stamps" on both Brett's and my blog, perhaps the two of them went to a philatelist convention or something.)

    7. While I am usually home every day, I have a job this week. Adam and I are working at an ink stamp factory to help them get a big order out. So, I am away from my computer all day. The job ends on Friday and I will be back to being available all day again.

      Headed back to my blog now.

    8. Well from a previous post I knew that Brett was busy this week ;-)... so in my mind he was totally excused. And I would never actually respond for him lol... I love hearing what he has to say!

      And you know, here's a great touch he's just added! He came to your blog before going to his own... ahh... I'm pretty sure my eyes just filled up lol

    9. Yes, I caught that too. You crazy romantic! It's a good thing we have you around to be all mushy for us!

      Oh-oh-oh! Lmao at this BRAINWAVE I just had: Bozo, you should be my Internet Maid of Honor! Nobody deserves to be front and center more than you. Indeed, in the blog-world I believe nobody IS more front and center than you are!

    10. OMG LMAO in a big way!!! You can't imagine how many times, from the very start of all this, I've wanted to ask if you were going to have bridesmaids - and if I could be included!!! But each time I thought I would really be pushing things if I took that extra step of a suggestion lol! I mean, after all, even I would have a hard time inviting self to be a Maid of Honour.

      This is so stylish! I've never even seen an American wedding before - but to suddenly be a Maid of Honour (even if it's virtual) fills me with such a sense of pride lol... The thing is, what do I wear?

      You know, I came over here to tell both you and Brett that when I'm enjoying something, I tend to go overboard with the fun. Overboard and overbearing... so I thought maybe I should sit back a bit and enjoy you both a little more quietly. But now with this whole Maid of Honour thing... I'm not sure I can lol!

      I do hope that you guys will tell me if I go too far though - I mean everything in fun - but I know my enthusiasm can sometimes becoming trying... if not downright obnoxious!

    11. Ha! Just saw your message!

    12. Ahhh the responsibilities... I'll have to research virtual Maid of Honour to find out what I have to do.

    13. I think you have to write the book, my dear.

      Bozo, you and I are spiritual twins, only you're more outgoing and romantic. I don't find you overbearing. I do think it's time to tame this thread for a bit. (Feel free to use it as blog-fodder if you like though) It's suddenly all complicated with 2nd-string side romances for each of us...my own fault for starting that one, I know.

      Tonight I'm suddenly a bit overwhelmed by this "storyline". Reality and cyberspace are getting blurry.

      Then again, I'm up extremely late, so maybe I'm just tired!

  3. I caught the SW reference that day, but didn't think to comment on it. Either way, you are much more into Star Wars than I will ever be.

    As for the cage fight, she would probably win since I don't believe I could bring myself to hit a girl. With a "virtual" cage-fight, I don't know how it would go down.

    I've always felt that competition keeps you on your toes. So, if I see the need, I may have to step up my game.

    Since, I really don't have any game, I will have to figure out what that means.

    1. Yet another thing we have in common: I have no game, either! I am legendary in my inabilities.

      ...and I'm more into Star Wars than anyone I know, I don't think I really expected comments. The people who seem more into it are into the video-gaming and stuff.

    2. Let me amend that: I have no game...in the real world. Clearly I must have game in the virtual world, because my virtual love-life is rich and diverse!

    3. That what I was thinking about myself. I come off much cooler and with more game here than I ever did in the real world.

  4. ooo, love triangle...

    Now this is drama! :p

  5. Red I have to say that I really enjoyed this one!!! I am a huge fan of Star Wars!!! (and yes I am a gamer too) but, I had to include this line for Star Wars that just seemed to make sense in this case!!!! Hope you like....

    Aniken: "I dont like the sand. It's hard, and rough, and it gets everywhere. Unlike you- you're soft and beautiful."

    As far as who would win in a fight bewteen the two....Unless Brett did something clever like set her on fire with his mind...(remember that he said that he would never "hit" her) I know without a doubt the lady would win every time and twice on Sunday....

    Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.....back to stamps...lol (preach lol fml)

    1. Wow. How funny. I happen to have a whole post written about that quotation! (well, except for the "beautiful" part...and thank you lol) I wrote the post after walking on the beach, but it's sitting and waiting for a day I have nothing else to say.

      You inspire me to dig it up and tweak it...maybe I'll post it later!

  6. Yeah... Barely anyone I know in real life knows about my blog either and for good reason. :P

    1. I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

      Actually, I had a blog years ago, and friends and family didn't comment, so I dropped my guard. About a year ago, my mom told me that she had stopped in one time and I was writing about my overindulgence of the previous night (to put it nicely) and decided she didn't really want to know what I'm up to!

      So they're not invited this time.

    2. There have been times I wish I had remained anonymous. There are stories I would like to tell, but can't because a lot of people I know (family included) are reading.

    3. If you want, I could always let you guest post here so you could get your "secret" stories out.

    4. That is so tempting. However, there are so many references to your blog on mine, they may find their way over here.

      I don't mind making fun of myself, but many of the ones I have in mind would be about people that might not want that story out there. Even if I change their names, people that know me may figure them out.

      Although, there ARE stories about me that my family does not need to read.

  7. I am going to admit to being on ANOTHER internet hiatus. Shame on me, I'm a terrible internet lesbian lover. But I do believe I would win in a cage match. Because, let's face it, I'm a gal and gals are scrappy fighters.
    I've never actually started a physical altercation. Though I have had my buttocks handed to me on more than one occasion. Growing up looking too white for the rez and too Indian for a small town, and then turning into a complete nerd did not do well for my popularity (that's for another post). ANYWAY, I'm just saying that I will pull hair, scratch and maybe even bite if I have to. And you and your charming, nerdy wit are worth it! *wink*
    I have also wondered if my bread may be buttered that way. I may even have to post a little something today, since I am back and all. I had my share of not so nice men who broke my heart (and once my face) and thought to myself, wouldn't a woman be better? We are softer, kinder (to some respects), wouldn't it be nice to be with someone who gets why the Folgers' commercial makes me cry? It just ended up that my soul mate is a man.
    I am also totally for gay marriage. I can't figure out why anyone is against it. I may not be religious, but I do have a spirituality that is strong at times, and all I can see is that true love is so darn rare, why walk away from it because it doesn't fit into society's "norm"?
    SO, it seems as if I am posting my own blog in your comment section. Ahem. I apologize, my sweetheart.
    On to catching up on the rest of your posts. I will try to be more attentive from now on.


    1. Yeah, the gay marriage thing? Since we have this separation of church and state thing that everyone harps on, I don't get why the extreme right are up in arms. As long as the government doesn't force churches to perform the ceremonies, how can it be a bad thing for a loving couple to legalize their bond?

      Besides, there are so many things that go wrong in straight marriages anyway. If someone wants to fix the marriage issue, they should work on correcting things like domestic violence!


I enjoy a good debate. Feel free to shake things up. Tell me I'm wrong. Ask me why I have such a weird opinion. ...or, just laugh and tell how this relates to you and your life.