15 July, 2016

The End Game

Have you ever read Milton's Paradise Lost? I think it's in there that time is described as a sort of spiral, with God in the middle, seeing everything at the same time.

Right now, my primary mental exercise is reminding myself that God sees the end-game. I'm stuck in the waiting room of life - we've all been there at different times, waiting on someone else's action to determine our next steps. Time is my primary stressor, so this situation is difficult.

BUT - it will pass. 
It may even pass tomorrow! 
Maybe next week! 
God can see the time, and may even be laughing at me for being impatient.

Our hold-up is the background checks we ran on the weekend, and we just have no guarantee of a time-frame for when we'll get our results, so it's like driving with no map.

Not that I'm completely stalled. We actually have friends and relatives coming over each of the next three weekends to collect stuff; I have a bag of books in my car to deliver to a couple friends; and I just sold all my camping gear! We set a date for a sort of "good-bye" dinner with friends we don't see very often, and I'm working in at least one "good-bye" lunch each week.

I've just stopped looking at the end-game. God can keep an eye on it for me. Where I used to look up ticket prices several times a week for comparison, I simply don't. I don't talk about our plans as much either, and haven't mentioned it on facebook in days.

This will happen.
Everything will come together.
I can only control what I can actually do - get rid of stuff. Gather information about finances and business... without providing dates. Set up get-togethers.

Time? I can't control that. 

I apologize for the rant - just had to put  it out there.


  1. I don't do well with waiting. I'll say a prayer or two for you! Sometimes things are just out of our control! (My son says that I am a control freak) What???

    1. Thank you! I appreciate it. Fortunately, in this case there are many things for me to do while I'm waiting. Since we gave away a large bookcase and our kitchen table this weekend, my to-do list tonight includes organizing all the stuff that is now in piles on the floor!


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