Ever since... adulthood, basically! ... I have declined to celebrate my birthday, or even tell people when it is. My best friend was at one time my boss, and knew my birthday from my new-hire paperwork, so she always says something. My best friend from high school, and a roommate from college, both know my birthday and usually send me a private message through facebook messenger.
I simply don't see the celebration. I didn't do anything to deserve praise or accolades. Birthday? My mom did all the work: celebrate her!
When I started dating Brett I told him I "don't do" my birthday. When I arrived at his house on the fateful day, he gave me a kiss, looked me in the eye and said, "You're sure you don't want a gift?" I said no. He said, "Because I didn't even get a back up gift 'in case'." Everyone told him that no woman wants her birthday ignored. They urged him to get a backup gift, but he took me at my word.
I was so honored that he trusted me over his friends. About me. Who his friends did not know.
ANYWAY. This year, after a long and difficult winter/spring, and recurring/lingering depression, it has occurred to me that merely surviving another year of existence in this treacherous thing called "life" is an achievement of its own. This past year of life has been more difficult than I expected and Damn it! I deserve praise for being alive!
I still won't post my birth-date on social media, because if you don't know when it is, I don't want the flood of empty wishes. I admit that I give social media birthday wishes, largely so that I don't stand out as "why didn't she say anything" but I'm getting away from doing that.
I have a summer birthday, so I have informed Brett that this year I intend to do something to celebrate. I even told him what my preferred gift would be. He married a woman who doesn't do birthdays, and I'm changing the game. The least I can do is make it easy!
I took my birthday off of Facebook so I didn't feel obligated to respond or "like" all the Happy Birthday posts from 100 people who never talk to me anyways. It never fails though, somebody from my family will post it and tag me and everybody figures it out.
ReplyDeleteExactly! Fortunately, I've been adamant about not doing anything for my birthday for long enough, most of my friends are discreet.
DeleteLOL! Seriously I found this funny. I don't like a big deal being made about my birthday either. And I hate surprises. But I am foolishly still offering empty birthday wishes to all my Facebook friends!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. Heaven help the person who asks a waiter to sing for my birthday. Or a surprise party. Nope.
DeleteAww! I think it's nice to celebrate, even if it's just something small and meaningful. Too often people get caught up in the show of things (I have a friend who insists on celebrating her birthday "month," which is annoying). But I think you should definitely celebrate another orbit around the sun, and maybe your mom as well ;)
ReplyDeleteI have declared it will be just the two of us. Probably just going out to a favorite restaurant. No stress!
DeletePeople have thought I was joking when I told them that I didn't even know when your birthday was. You made a point to keep it hidden for a while and I decided to not seek it out since you wanted it ignored anyway.
ReplyDeleteNow, I know when it is, but sometimes forget which of the two months that start with the same letter.
You are awesome to go with the flow like this.
DeleteSee, that's how I see it. I want people to give me gifts for surviving another year in this treacherous craphole we call life.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds depressing, but a year of life is REALLY hard!
Happy day of surviving, whenever that might be.
YES! Celebrating something horrible is getting me quite excited.
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ReplyDeleteThere is something nice about making another complete orbit of the sun, but I've always felt that a person's birthday should be their way to celebrate however they choose--and that includes the choice to not celebrate.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I do envy you having a summer birthday, given that mine is in the middle of winter, which puts it uncomfortably close to a lot of major holidays.
That's true. Easy to miss those winter holidays. Which wouldn't hurt my feelings, but, yeah. Hard to be in the mood to celebrate ONE MORE thing.
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