The Kids of Indianapolis Have a New Hero

Sorry for the delay, those of you expecting this yesterday: My wi-fi died. It has been resurrected.

If you read through Brett's most recent post and comments (here), you might have noticed a tiny little response (or two) in the comment section where Brett mentioned that we spent Memorial Day together in Indianapolis.

Yep. And it was awesome. End of story.

Haha! Just kidding. I wouldn't tease you like that. I mean it was awesome, but that's not the end of the story. I'll share. ('cause I'm a giver like that.)

What happens when two bloggers get together? The ears of the entire blogosphere should be burning. Yesirree dudes, you were under discussion. Because we love you.

Hard to believe it's Indianapolis?

Brett and I are pretty comfortable together by now, so walking along the canal - beautified for the Superbowl, so a pretty nice walk - was comfortable.
People-watching near the museums and zoo was a riot, as you can imagine.

Believe me, Brett's the one making the jokes, and I am the one trying to keep my sides from splitting. (My friends in Delaware find me amusing, but I can't hold a candle to Brett for flat-out funny.)

We went to a baseball game in the evening. Victory Field in Indianapolis doesn't do bleachers in the outfield: they have sloping lawns instead. We had a blanket and a picnic, and set up under the sole tree (above the slope), because I was already pinking up from all the sun. Because we were near-ish to an entrance and concession stand, there were many families walking past us the whole time, and the occasional father-son or father-daughter pair playing catch behind us.

Dudes, I couldn't believe I was watching this phenomenon in person!

An abundance of random children.
...and in near proximity to Brett, the Transformed Non-conformist!

If you've read the post of Brett's that I highlighted above, you've heard his side of what happens when he is around young children.

Allow me to illuminate you! That's right. I was an eye-witness.

1. He's correct. It's not like he's trying to play with the kids. But if they stare - as kids tend to do - Brett will point at them in return. Sometimes this would cause them to laugh, sometimes to wave, sometimes to hide behind their parent. I tried to pull his hand down, but you know, "old dog...new tricks."

He was just trying to teach them what "rude" is!

2. Kids just walk in his direction. Really, we were just sitting there! In addition to the 8-9 year-old girls who seemed fascinated by us, and the parents playing catch with their kids, at one point a dad was walking his 2 or 3 year-old daughter near us. 

The dad & daughter. (It's a bit far away...)

When the dad was distracted by the game, Brett waved the girl over. She freely walked toward us, at which point Brett joked with the Dad about her opennness with strangers.  

He was just trying to teach a lesson in safety!

We had grapes sitting out on the cooler, so I suggested that she was walking toward food. (Everyone knows kids and animals are drawn to food.) I asked the girl if she wanted a couple grapes (not that she understood the question), and her dad quickly said, "Sure. She can have a grape."

I started  to reach into the ziploc and get out the grapes. The girl suddenly saw me - I think she was mesmerized by Brett until then - and started to back slowly away from our blanket.

Conclusion: Brett looks safe and I look scary.

3. The same little girl and her dad - after probably one or two more beers. He had apparently won her a prize: A small beachball designed to look like a baseball. They were again walking around near us. This time, Brett reached out as if to catch the ball. Without question, she tossed it to him.


The little girl who snubbed me.

 They played catch for a few minutes, while her Dad was shooting the breeze with us and another dad meandering the grassy area. Then they continued walking away.

She never once threw the ball to me.

Conclusion: Brett exudes a "fun" vibe that I obviously lack.

4. After the game, on our way out of town, Brett pulled into a gas station to fill up for the drive home. Now, he had been apologizing for the bird poop on my side of the windshield (like it was his fault), and intended to take care of it. Then I saw the minivan across from us seemed to have commandeered several of the squeegees for the one adult and two kids to tackle all the windows on their vehicle.

I heard the girl (about 9yo?) complain to her big brother (maybe 11?) that it was HER turn to do THAT side of the van.

...next thing you know, Brett found two young windshield washers to attack our bird-poop.

The big brother started on Brett's side...

The girl was too short to effectively reach the windshield, so Brett gave her some help:

Yes, she's standing on the hood.

He was just trying to solve the sibling dispute!

It was a delightful day by every standard. And it was especially fun to be able to verify what precisely happens in these scenarios. Believe me, dudes: Brett is NOT making it up!

Get Outta My Way - Red's on a Rant

CAUTION: This Post has been rated PG - 

for some strong language.

...because I'm pissed.

Who the HELL gave you the right to critique my weight?
(Well okay, not "you" particularly, the generic "you" meaning "people in general")

Are we as a society so accustomed to FAT that when someone is actually maintaining a healthy weight, we think they are "too thin"? ...the fuck?
(And by "we as a society", I'm curious if this is just an American phenomenon.)

AND YES I AM GOING TO USE
THE "F-WORD": FAT. No euphemisms here. We use a lot of nicer-words: "heavy", "curvy", "big". Dude, my 14yo nephew has high cholesterol and is on track for diabetes, but is he fat? No, he's a "big boy".

I know exactly what is considered the healthy weight-range for a woman of my age and height. I was just above it when I started losing weight last year. I lost 20 pounds. At that point I was still within a healthy range for myself. (I've since gained back almost half of it, and I'm fine with that, as long as I can fit my clothes.)

Co-workers could observe daily as my old clothes got baggy, and I started wearing smaller sizes. Some were supportive. Some said they wished they could do the same...while they ate subs and fries for lunch. One woman, who is clearly outside of the healthy zone for her, started cautioning me not to lose too much more weight or I'd be "too thin".

Dude, I wanted to smack the self-righteous bitch. I would have said to her "When you get off your fat ass and DO SOMETHING...and when you are eating more healthily than I am...when you are overall more healthy than I, THEN you can offer me advice." Bitch. I didn't say that, of course. I don't curse like that.

So where is this uncharacteristic-for-me rant coming from?

Today I tried on the Bridesmaid Dress again. The one that I was having altered because when it arrived in Delaware it was too tight, and when I went to the seamstress and tried it on 2 weeks ago, it was still too tight. It is a gorgeous dress, and extremely well-made. So much so that the seamstress (not a professional) was a little nervous to cut it, and recommended another woman finish the job.

Today we talked to the other seamstress, who said she could, but it would be better if we found someone who makes their living doing this. Upon returning home, I tried it on. (Don't ask me why I didn't try it on last night.) It fit.

Dudes, it needed to be let out by almost 2 inches. I'm pretty proud of myself that not only did it fit this afternoon, but I could zip it up myself. "Fitting" while having someone else help tug together the two sides of the zipper is one thing. "Fitting" with no assistance is excellent.

...so I did what everyone does when they meet a goal: I posted it on facebook.

Just like anyone, I want the kudos due me for achieving this goal. (I still have to maintain it for a few weeks, but at least I'm there.) If there's one good thing about facebook, it's the instant gratification of "like". And I got a few of those, a few positive comments, including one from a friend who was with me through the lost 20 pounds.

Then SHE struck. SHE is an old friend (I can't think of a pseudonym for her at the moment) from college who actually lives in the area. ...well, about an hour away. We finally got together last week, and she said I looked good, but again with the "don't lose any more" -

~~GRR...Why the FUCK do people think it's okay to judge my weight?!?!?! ~~

She's fat. Okay, I said it. I know, she has reasons: can't get around a lot, medications, blah-blah-blah. She even admits she's overweight. So What in Hell or Heaven or all the worlds between gives her the right to make random statements about my weight when it's not okay for me to tell her she needs to lose about half of herself?

But that's not what set me off. No. That was days ago, when I told her I was still working my way into the dress and she advised me (unsolicited) to put weight back on after the wedding.

No. When I posted that I fit the dress today, her comment?

"Good, 'cuz another 10 pounds and you'd be anorexic."

BITCH!

For the record, I would not. I couldn't be skin and bones if I tried. I'd ask Brett to vouch for me, since he first met me 2 days after I got here, and saw me the day after SHE did - and therefore could confirm that I've not lost noticeable weight in that time, but I'm not the kind of girl to put a guy on the spot. (Seriously Brett, not asking.) You will therefore have to trust that I am at a healthy size.

I deleted the comment. I really hope-hope-hope she asks me about it. I have tried to maintain our friendship, because I know she is not in a good way, and needs someone on her side. But she's making it difficult.

Seriously, do YOU randomly comment on people's weight? I mean, the occasional "wow you look great have you lost weight" notwithstanding?

Also seriously, is this just America, or is all the world so used to fat that normal looks thin?

...Okay. PG over. I'll go back to my G-rating. I'd apologize for all the language, which is NEVER in here (in case you're new), but I really needed to get that off my chest. Thank you!

Where Does the Time Go? Catching Up

Hi there! Remember me?
Yeah, I'm still here. I just saw on someone else's blogroll that I last posted 4 days ago.
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
That Red, man, she's such a slacker...

>sigh<
So I'm doing a total cop-out and posting an overall update on what's happening. Okay? Okay.

Most (if not all) of you reading this also read Brett's blog, The Transformed Non-conformist. So you've probably read his recent post that mentioned our day together this past Thursday. We are able to get together about once a week. He's even been over here and met my parents. (Please note that he survived the visit and is still blogging.)

~~~
I have to say, I feel like I'm dating a celebrity. The Transformed Non-conformist has so many followers and awards, and is just so popular ...and yet *I* am the one he chooses to spend his time with. It's like he's talking about someone else when he mentions me in his blog: "Who's this 'Red' person?"
(...I probably shouldn't have admitted that, but it's true.)
~~~

Those of you new to Doesn't Speak Klingon may have missed the fact that I moved to Indiana from Delaware nearly a month ago.(Here is the sort of summary after my arrival, but there's a lot of posts about the whole process.) I'm living with my parents until I get a job and move into my own place. I have no regrets, especially with my mom's extreme gratitude when I help Dad with the dog or the lawn or the gardening. I think she's worried about him overexerting himself. He had a mini-stroke in February, which was the impetus for my move. So I'm happy to help.

I had lived in Delaware for almost 12 years, which is a REALLY LONG TIME...and I was overdue to move, because ...well, one symptom was the fact that I couldn't go anywhere without running into someone I knew. And I need to start over every now and then. So I'm looking forward to starting that starting over process. Right now I'm just "at Mom & Dad's".

But dude, I wish I had a job by now!

So I'm spending a lot of time sifting through the options being sent my way by Career Builder. I have quite a broad search, which means there's a LOT to sift though. See, I want to live close to my parents, but I don't require the same area-code. In Delaware, I was a 12-hour drive away. I figure if I'm within 2 or 3 hours, that's still a do-able distance if something happens. So I'm casting a broad net geographically, and now have two resumes posted with different emphases. 

However, I've been focused on full-time positions. This week I will get a part-time job, so I at least have some money coming in ...and can keep filling my gas-tank to get to see Brett. Because it is still a bit of a drive for both of us.

So I guess technically I'm right on schedule. When I first decided to move here - with no job lined up (which was a radical idea) - my expection was to have at least a part-time job by the end of May, and to be settled into a full-time job and new place before the summer is out. Of course, my hope was to have a full-time position by now, and be able to focus on finding somewhere to live, but I knew that was unrealistic.

Basically, that means my time is divided between job-search, family, and Brett. I have no social life to write about. It never struck me until now, but a lot of my posts in April had to do with goodbyes and packing, and all that stuff is over. And hasn't been replaced.

I'm sure once I actually "start over", I'll have more entertaining things to say.

On another note:
In the US this is Memorial Day weekend - a holiday to remember fallen service-men and -women. But, here is a more random...

Today's Reason to Celebrate:

On this date in 1521, Martin Luther was banned by the Edict of Worms (that's "Vohrms") because of his religious beliefs and writings. Way to go, dude! Free us from that religious tyranny!

Allow Me To Explain OR "What Really Happened at The Avengers"

Ah...it's about time.

Methinks the squirrels are communing over the blog-fence.

I understand there's some scuttlebutt going on around the water coolers and fence-walls of the blogosphere. I have often in life found myself being fodder for the rumor-mill. I chalk it up to the fact that I refuse to confirm or deny any gossip I hear. And in that case, people like to believe the worst - or juiciest - whichever.

I would not have thought of this in terms of the internet, though. FYI, I am totally respectful of direct questions, if there's something anyone wants to know. (I'm not wild about people making plans/decisions concerning me, without my input, however.)


(really, they're whispering.)



In this instance, I don't know of any actual rumors or plans happening, but apparently my response to Rusty's comment on this post has raised speculation (seriously, click the link and read the comments.) Okay, maybe I figured it would, but I guess I assumed any further speculation would show in the comments of that post.

Ah well.


Your questions reached me. (Everyone needs Secret Squirrels!)

Allow me to illuminate you!

First, be sure you've looked at that comment and response. Okay... you with me?

Now, when I take the Movie Whore to a movie, she takes notes. (For an introduction to the Move Whore, click here) There's a tiny (2x4?) notepad in my purse that works just fine. When Brett and I went to The Avengers, I pulled out the notepad and a pen, and the Movie Whore started in with her random notes.

Well, movies are anti-social anyway, so if I'm going to sit and not talk with my internet fiance, the least we can do is have physical contact, right? About 1/4 of the way into the movie (maybe 1/3), my right hand was preoccupied with Brett's left ...or more often both.

I can write with my left hand (legibly, if not prettily), but my right hand is still the naturally dominant one. I do not believe I have the manual dexterity to hold down an itty-bitty notepad and write, both with my left hand, in a darkened theater. So the Movie Whore's notes stopped.

Just for clarity, we were not making out like a couple of teenagers. (Do they still do that at the movies? Seems like a waste of money to me.) A) I actually wanted to see the movie and B) The cinema was very full, and we were near the front...surrounded by teenagers and adults alike. I try to behave with discretion in public.

So I can't really fill a whole post about The Avengers. (Sorry, Rusty.) There may be a Movie Whore post forthcoming that incorporates The Avengers, and The Raven, and Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. None of those have good notes. (I saw The Raven in Delaware with my mother the day before moving, and took her to Marigold for Mothers Day.)

I hope that when people want to know things, they will actually ask. Hey, by asking a direct question, you're helping provide inspiration for a new blog post! Don't hide at the internet water-cooler!

Pardon the Interruption

We interrupt this blog to read

The Hunger Games

I started this morning and am almost halfway through it. (And that, with a several-hour interruption for interviewing and dress-fitting.) It is a very easy read.

(...and yes, I'm squandering a precious post to tell you all this. Rolling merrily along to the 100th...)

The Blog to End all Blogs - It's In There, I Know it Is!

CAUTION: This blog has no point, and will likely be a rambling one! (You've been warned.)

My blogging has slowed down since my recent relocation to my parents' house in Indiana. I really miss posting 5 or 6 days a week. Obviously, “Red” is not my real name. Recent followers may not have cottoned on to the fact that nobody in my RL (real life) knows that I even have a blog. It is hard to post frequently when I'm living with two relatives who don't know why I might need to be online so much!

I thought about just outting myself to my parents, but you know:

After it's out there, you can Never Take It Back!

So I won't.

I'll keep trying to discreetly write my posts on paper on my own time, send photos to my email to download to my laptop, and combine them in bits and pieces, in between the job search and what my father calls “The Devil's Playground” : facebook.

Facebook is EVIL!!! (so sayeth my father.)

Oh my! A wasp just totally landed on my face and bounced off! ...I'm out on the deck editing this post.
 

I've been thinking about what fun stuff to write, but it's all so new, and random, and humdrum right now, there's not a lot to say! I'm really bummed about that.

Brett recently posted his 100^th blog with a list of 100 things about him that are not elsewhere in his blog. (I dare anyone to go through his archives and double check.) I'm coming up on my 100^th, and started a list like that, but really don't think I'll do it. It's hard for me to think there could be 100 things that my 18 followers and half-dozen other regular commenters actually want to know!

Blogs I have in me waiting to come out, or partially written:

The story of the china.
Getting lost in the woods.
Something about Red&Brett. (There's stuff to say, but I don't think I know how to say it.)
My definitive work on Skin Cancer. (I'm gonna get it. Just sayin')
My Dad is trying to kill me.
The Avengers or The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - or both.
Something about where I used to work, now that I'm no longer there.
The micro-brewery I found out about and now have to actually find and tour. ...after I tour it, of course.
Complete my IOU and recommend 4 more blogs.

...Oh. There's SO MUCH in my head. But all this fresh air. And gardening. And parental presence. ...and peace and quiet. Usually what's in my head bursts out - but there's no need right now, because there's nothing to burst through!

In short, dudes, I'm sorry I'm not on the blogosphere very much. I pop into your blogs as I can, but don't always leave comments if I'm on a computer that's not my own, because that means logging in, and that means leaving the address of my blog for one of the 'rents to see.

I feel so deceptive.

I can't wait to have my own place.

It's Like a Fairytale! - but with murderous rocks

This is a story about Queen Holly the Magnificent and her sidekick King. King is a backhoe that Queen Holly and her husband purchased to assist them with all the renovations they are making to their vast estate in Virginia.

Queen Holly is my personal hero, who rebuilt a chicken coop, has been waging devastating war on horrible invasive kitchen pests (raccoons or bears, I'm guessing), protects her peach orchard from wildlife (probably with a machete or something, because that's how she rolls), is custom-building - with A CHAINSAW and a lot of force - a fence around the property - or a significant portion thereof - and has been utilizing King to help move giant rocks from one end of her kingdom to the other, to create a retaining wall.

She IS the Queen. All Hail!

While doing all this, she is relaying the ongoing saga via her blog "A Holly with Follies", with a lot of humor, some creative cursing, and overall, serious, awesomeness.

Now that I reside in a rural neighborhood in hilly country, I have a greater understanding of the kind of things she's talking about. Although I've not yet had need to utilize the chainsaw, we have a retaining wall out back that made me chuckle inside. It's lovely, with tiny purple flowers that grow between the rocks. Here it is...

Sweet, yes? Why did I chuckle? Here's Holly's retaining wall...


Dude...A-Mazing!!!

 Yeah, ours is kind of baby-sized by comparison.

Holly recently wrote about her retaining wall trying to murder her. Last week our small (but aggressive) retaining wall tried to murder me! I was out mowing the back yard ("Just the sloping bits"...of 3 acres of hillside). I got to use the electric push-mower, dragging the cord back and forth around the yard. ...and yes, up and around to the top of the retaining wall.

See those lovely, decorative, curved bricks at the base? Yeah. They're not mortared in place. (Is "mortared" a word?) The cord got tangled around one of them and I almost pulled the whole brick base loose.

...so wait...I guess that means that *I* almost murdered the retaining wall. THAT'S the difference between our little wall and Queen Holly's behemoth.

And then, after all my caution, I mowed over the extension cord and MASSACRED it! I am "Red, The Desctructor"! MWAHahahaha! The longer I stay here, the more uniquely country things I experience. Hopefully I'll get good enough to be less destructive in future.

Today's Something to Celebrate:
I just totally gave you another blog recommendation, bringing my IOU down to 4! (click the links to see why I owe recommendations, if you're new.)