The Movie Whore is Back – and she’s Very Confused

I know some of you are here looking for the next installment of "Doesn’t Speak Klingon and the Transformed Non-Conformist" and I’m sorry to disappoint, but we live five states apart! Think about it logically: what news could there be? (Yes, I’m part Vulcan, what of it?) So instead, I hope you’ll chime in with your thoughts on the Movie Whore’s latest adventure.

***** 

The last we heard from the Movie Whore, she had reaffirmed a disinterest in the Oscars. Indeed, the 2012 Oscars passed her right by as she slept soundly through the night. However, a person has to be trying very hard to miss the results in the news the next day.

…and the Movie Whore doesn’t care enough to try very hard.

So she heard.

“The Artist” had piqued her interest earlier, just by the buzz. She only knew it was silent, nothing about the story. So now, as a multiple-award-winning film – not just Best Picture, but Costumes and…what, like, sound? – what a good excuse to hit the cinema again!

...Yeah. Because the Movie Whore needs an excuse.

Please help us out here: What is so great about this movie? I get it: It’s unique and daring to attempt a silent, black & white film in this day and age, and the actors have to act with their face and body, not just vocal inflection, but really? BEST Picture? And costumes? It’s black and white! Part of the beauty of good costuming is in the variety of colors and patterns. …But Best Picture?

The Movie Whore is very confused indeed. Did you see this? Is it not a darker (no pun intended) version of Singing In The Rain? Without the singing, the color, or the fun? (or Gene Kelly)  I don’t want to spell out what I mean and spoil it for anyone who still intends to see it, but think in broad storyline strokes…if you don’t get what I mean, leave a comment and I’ll clarify my thoughts there. (So, avoid the comment section if you don’t want it spoiled for you…just in case.) Suffice to say, the Movie Whore is relieved that she was able to get into an early-enough showing to pay the matinee price!

Not to mention, it’s a movie about people making movies, and only in Hollywood is that kind of narcissism awarded.

The Movie Whore is really bad at remembering all that came out in a whole year, but truly, I’ll take Cowboys and Aliens over this snooze-fest. Literally a snooze-fest. Please, if you saw this and did not hear an audience-member snore, and did not doze off yourself, let me know! Never happened. You were probably dreaming. (My eyes may or may not have drifted shut at some point.)

On the plus side, the Movie Whore saw two previews for interesting-looking movies. Something about a “…Marigold…” is full of excellent British stars, and takes place in India, which I love. Both, I mean, the British stars and India. And something about “…Noonshine…” appears to be a sweet summer-camp, coming-of-age movie, featuring Bill Murray with an axe. No joke. At least that’s what the preview showed.

*****

However, the reality of today (all movies aside) is that I am taking a genuine sick day. The scratchy throat I’ve had is moving northwards and it’s all I can do to sit upright at the computer. So with that, my dudes, I’m going back to bed. …or maybe I’ll go to the living room and watch some silent, black and white Alfred Hitchcock movies – you know, a good movie!

Of Axe-Murderers and Other Creepy Folks

Geez, people!

I finally have at least two posts pre-written from over the weekend (and one still lurking in my brain waiting for the proper mental state to voice it), and instead I have been given an incomparable opportunity to respond to the responses to a post that was based on my earlier posts full of pretend assumptions about the supposed character of my internet-fiance Brett, over at the Transformed Non-Conformist. Check out his post, here, to see the firestorm that started my post.

I’ll give you a minute...

…and another one to sort out the above paragraph.

And off we go... 

You know how you build connections to people via their blogs? Like it or not, sometimes you connect to the words from one writer moreso than from another, however much you may appreciate both? Well, Brett started following my blog from the get-go, and we’ve developed a fun friendship, including a proposal, which he ironically suggested on Valentine’s Day (in the comments of my "Your Bloody Valentines Day" post). Touche, darling, touché. After many posts and comments on both our blogs, during which I threw around the phrase “axe-murderer” a few times, he posted his character-defense, linked to above.

Just to fill in some blanks:

While it’s true that I told Brett our engagement is off if I find out he’s an axe-murderer, and it’s also true that I sort of graphically explained exactly what part of meeting an axe-murderer puts me off – the part where I’m scattered across the Midwest in a zillion pieces, of course – I was using “axe-murderer” as an obvious – or so I thought – euphemism for “anyone wishing me ill”. I do not truly expect to find that Brett is an axe-murderer. Especially because any self-respecting axe-murderer would know how to cover up his tracks. Probably I would be scattered across the cornfields and no one would ever know.

I would become an America’s Most Wanted special.

Or Dateline.

Or 48 Hours.

...You get the idea.

The "Other Creepy Folks" Part of this:

Yes, I’m cautious.

I’ve never (that I know of) had an internet stalker before, but I did have the real kind. Well, two, but one of them didn’t make me afraid, just annoyed. But the FEAR thing…There is nothing scarier than thinking you are totally alone and suddenly feeling someone’s hands pressing down on your shoulders and hearing a voice very close to your ear asking in a quietly demanding tone where you were that morning? [Dear heaven above, my heart is pounding just writing about it] Where *he* expected me to be was chapel, at my college campus. I did not go to chapel that day because I was deliberately altering my routine in an effort to avoid him.

[Okay, heart, slow back down to normal...good.]

I’m not a person with many fears. I can be surprised or startled, but causing fear to rise in me is rare (which, ironically, seems to scare my mother). I don’t want it to happen again.

This all sounds very heavy, which I did not intend. The past is the past, and it’s all good now. I’m not seeking sympathy, just explaining my seemingly inexplicable behavior.

So yes, I’m a bit cautious. No, I do not think Brett is out to get me, but the constant vigilance persists from earlier days. It becomes habit.

(I am actually feeling a bit guilty that I’m so guarded when so many of the blogs I love include generous writers who truly share who they are, and one of the semi-composed posts I have waiting includes a bit more detail, just in case anyone is wondering about me.)

Back to the issue at hand:

…Actually, this axe-murderer line seems to have started so long ago, I can’t think how I came up with it.

…I think I was actually initially checking his archives more to see if this “proposing to some random internet-chica on Valentines Day” was just a tradition. Like maybe I had simply won the luck of the draw for 2012. Talk about an idea back-firing. I’m beginning to see him as a witty guy, a devoted father, with a healthy sense of adventure, Christian morals and loving family… !@(*#& Internet. I guess the joke's on me!

In a cruel twist of fate, this whole spiel has exposed the chink in my armor:

After I wrote this out and put it to bed until today, I looked up Brett’s fb page, and was laughing so much I ALMOST commented on a tweet, but thought no, that would provide a link to my fb page, my true identity and everything, and that’s just too much.

So I very cleverly decided to email my comment to him – haha! That way he’d only get my email address, which isn’t so far from my blog I.D. Clever me.

DOH! I did not think that my real name showed when I emailed to a new address. Hoisted on my own petard. (that is too a phrase. Shakespeare, I think. I’m pretty sure it means I was killed by my own sword.)

If all my tight-knit defenses are the Death Star, then I just shot a photon torpedo into my own 2-meter thermal exhaust port. Doggone it.

It's a Major Award! (and it's not a leg-lamp)

“You like me! You really like me!” (Wasn’t that Sally Fields?) I won an award!

My dear internet-fiance, Brett at the blog The Transformed Non-Conformist has granted me the Liebster Blog award! Wow. I’m so humbled. He was the first to follow my blog, and his blog falls into my favorites, too. Be sure to check him out at the link above. (my page greys out links, so scroll over it to see it.)

I take my Liebster Blog Award very seriously. Please bear with me through this intro. I think it’s an important distinction. [and your German tutelage for the day] “Liebster” is usually translated as “favorite” or possibly “dear” or “dearest”, but I took several years of German, and see the root “Liebe” which means love, so to me a better word is “beloved”. The suffix “-ster” means “most”. A something-meister is the greatest at whatever the “something” is. (think “maestro”=”meister”) Some bloggers are genuine “word-meister”s: masters of word-usage.

Liebe (love)

+ the superlative suffix –ster (truncated meister)

= “most loved”.

Ja wohl.

(to my German reader(s), correct me, please, if I’m out of line here.)

Who, oh who, are my most beloved blogs? First there are some rules.

1.       Link back to the person who nominated me. (check) Hi Brett!

2.       Award five of my own “Liebster Blogs” and notify them on their blogs.

2a. My five nominees must have fewer than 200 followers each.

I am a rule-follower. However, not all of my most-loved blogs post their follower-numbers on their page. What to do? Besides, those numbers may be skewed; I haven’t officially linked as “follower” to all the blogs I follow…actually, I don’t think I’m technically a “follower” of the Transformed Non-Conformist! But I keep a written list, check in regularly, and if I’m enjoying a blog consistently, I add it to my blog-roll. Although I have an awfully long written list, so my blogroll would probably sink the internet if I added all of you, my Liebsters! [German lesson II: That should really be "Liebschen" which means a person who is beloved, but I'm sticking with Liebster because it's funnier. Ja wohl.]

Of those blogs I check regularly, I first want to mention Sara’s blog Sarasaur-Tangled Skein. I’ve linked to her in a post earlier, just because I love her. Sara doesn’t post often, but the girl is a genuine nut – like me. Her posts are off-the-wall funny, or deeply heartfelt, or both. She doesn’t have it easy, but seems to deal with things through humor, which is always a good thing. As I said before, if I’m ever in her direction, I’m taking this Liebster out for coffee (or something). Stop by and give her some love!

I don’t know how I found A Holly with Follies – probably trolling ya’ll’s comment sections. Holly lives on a farm she and her husband are renovating, and she describes in vivid detail some of the pride and pitfalls that go along with it… in addition to general stuff about horrible winter weather and video games and pet-issues. But...CRACK ME UP! OMG you MUST read her recent post about the guinea-hens. p.s. she posts a warning up front that she swears on her blog, but she really doesn’t do it as much as some others I love.

I regularly check the blog Confessions of a Cornfed Girl to see what Johi is up to. I admit I feel a sort of kinship with her because I, too, was a Cornfed Girl from Iowa right up until the summer I turned 10 and my family moved to the other side of the world. (literally. Sri Lanka. Check it out on a globe – couldn’t be further from Iowa and still be on the planet!) But you don’t need to be a Cornfed Girl to get it. She writes about her life with her husband and sons in Colorado, continually poking fun at herself and the craziness around her. I enjoy her stylings, and obviously I’m not alone, since she’s pretty close to the max number of followers for this award.

Here, I get into a grey area. My next two nominees do not post their follower-numbers. I can’t believe their numbers are small, but perhaps just small enough. I leave it to the gods of the internet to determine if I am in violation of the rules.

Misty over at Misty’s Laws includes a lot of funny photos of crazy people/things she sees daily. She is the original cameraphone-ninja! Check out her Weekly Whacked, if you can’t get to her site more often than that. Also, I just double-checked to see if her follower-numbers were suddenly posted, and today is her birthday! Misty, since I won’t send you my killer-bunny stapler for your birthday, just know that you are one of my Liebster Blogs! (I hope it’s a better present than a stapler.)

And last but not least I nominate Kendall at This is Not That Blog. She’s one of those blog-artistes who draws her blog…with skill and humor.  The ideas that come out of her mind are best rendered graphically, it would appear. Go on, check it out…randomly click into her archives. You’ll love it. Especially with St. Patrick’s Day coming, find her “Leprechaun Bingo” and maybe we can get a blogosphere-wide bingo game going this year!

As I said, there are others that I check on regularly, too, but for non-professional writers with under 200 followers, these five are truly "liebster"! I hope you think so, too.

Reply All = EPIC FAIL!!!

This is TOO GOOD NOT TO POST!

So, it’s late in the workday, and I got an email from someone about planning a major meeting involving several lord-high muckymucks for sometime in March, and requesting response about the better date.

The date choices offered were 3/16 and 3/23. I have plans in the evening on 3/23, which wouldn’t really be a problem, but I’d prefer the 3/16 option, since the location is up-state. (Delaware’s small, but still…) I added that some of us might even enjoy going out to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day after the meeting adjourned, since it will be an all-day affair and we don’t all see each other very often, being spread across the state.

After suggesting going out after the meeting I added the phrase, “I know, beach party animal, me” with a smiley face. Because in the state of Delaware, those of us who live near the beach are notoriously more laid-back and carefree, and presumably drink and party more than those up north. It's just a stereotype... Really... Shut up.

Because these emails are typically sent by one of my counterparts, to all the rest of the people in our same position, I hit “reply all”, as I usually do. Because I enjoy being around my counterparts and again, it doesn’t happen often, so I wanted to include anyone who might find the suggestion agreeable.

My first two replies were from people who do NOT hold my same position.

Hmm…I must have made a mistake. How did Mary and Susan know about this meeting if it was just for us? (Mary and Susan are friends of mine, who actually work in an office closer to my home, and who I have in fact gone out with. It would be great if they were there! Awesome!)

Let me just look at the “sent to” portion…

Holy. Crap-eroni! With bells on.

CC’ed to ALL the superintendents, all the administrators, some people from other offices I don’t usually deal with and who therefore don’t-know-about-my-witty-humor-and-good-nature, and THE BIG BOSS HIMSELF!!!! (who is a very nice guy, but not someone I want to go out with on St. Paddy’s)

Epic. Fail.

My office-mate and I laughed uproariously as I recited names off the "sent to" and "CC" list.

Then I attempted a “message recall”. The list of people with “recall failures” (meaning they’d already read my faux pas) is pretty humorous, too…including a previous supervisor with a great sense of humor who I’ve no doubt will have something to say!

Boy, is my face red.

I then sent a more specific email to only those I thought I was “replying all” to, explaining my thoughts on potentially going out that night. Schadenfreude being what it is, they should all get a laugh! (it’s German, look it up.)

(I know, I'm posting twice in one day. Please don't ignore my previous post, I'm still seeking feedback. Just had to get this out there.)

Asking the cosmos - Is it Bad to Boomerang?

Today’s subject has been on my mind for a while. Sorry if it's long-winded.

I briefly commented here that my dad had a mini-stroke, and it freaked me out a bit. He’s doing fine, although they still don’t know what caused it. My dad’s theory is that it is linked to the very long-distance flight he and my mom were taking at the time. Non-stop from Istanbul to Chicago. (Mom makes sure to walk the airplane aisles occasionally if they’ll be aloft that long.) Dad could be right in his guess.

Anyway, he’s getting control back over his right hand, and they are now off on a road-trip. (yeah, I got my travel urge genetically.) As I said, it had not affected his mind, his humor, or any of the important stuff that makes him so brilliant. It was just frustrating for him.

I have a fantastic relationship with my parents. I realize how fortunate I am in that. I spend vacation at their house, which I call “my private retreat in the woods”. It is awesome, and peaceful (unless my siblings are there with their families), and they appreciate me being there. (I’m low maintenance, and I get the coffee going before they get up. ...and walk the dog. ...and Dad usually has some task for me to help him with while I’m there.) Keep in mind, where they retired has never been home to me, so when I go there the only people I know are “their” people. I don’t have a bunch of other things to do. Totally. Relaxing.

On one visit a couple years ago, Mom and I had a “girls’ day out”. We went to a craft store, had lunch, and saw a chick flick. Mom confessed that Dad doesn’t like to try new restaurants. He has a couple he likes and prefers to stick to them, but Mom likes to try a wider variety. So she really appreciated the opportunity to go somewhere she doesn’t get to go with Dad. At that point I thought, “Hm…If I moved closer, we could do these things more often, and try all the places on Mom’s list!” And especially now, while they’re healthy enough to get out and about and do things. 

That was two years ago. Or maybe more.

So Dad’s stroke was like a bolt from the blue telling me to move my butt over to their corner of the world.

I’ve moved spontaneously before. Just up and left, and looked for a job when I arrived. It all worked out. But that was a different economy. It’s riskier now. A MUCH larger leap of faith to assume that I can even find a job. But that’s what I’m looking at doing. I don’t want to waste any more time. I want to have those fun days out with Mom. I want to help Dad chop firewood. I want the intellectual stimulation that I get from my family that doesn’t come from most of my friends.

And I have itchy feet. I’ve lived in Delaware for 11 ½ years. A long long long long long time for someone like me. My strongest tie here is my best friend, who continually tells me that I must not leave, and I know she would miss me. (She was my boss at one point, and has been a good reference for me since then. She hints that if she’s called for a reference for a job out of state that I’ll get a bad reference, and I’m only half-sure she’s kidding!) I’m used to moving more than she is – people come and go in life …maybe more to the point, I come and go in life. But within the last year, I’ve observed that she has developed another close friendship. At first I was actually a little jealous, and then I realized that now, at least she won’t be lonely when I move. Because I’ve known for years that I have to move.

So, Dudes, here’s the question:

Do I follow my inner prompting, move closer to my parents, and seek a job when I get there? Or do I do the “smart” thing, slowly seek a job – knowing most companies aren’t going to hire someone who has to relocate if there’s someone local – and move after/if I find a job?

I really am interested in hearing the views out there; please don’t censor yourself in the comments.

I know what I want to do, but in order to do it I will have to impose myself on my parents for an indeterminate amount of time. The way I see it playing out is like so:

1. Pack up (sell a bunch of stuff first) and move in with Mom and Dad.
2. Look for a job – retail if nothing else. My work history includes retail management, so I know I can do it, I just don’t love it. Part-time if necessary to start with and help with bills, until I can get a full-time job.
3. Full-time job found, seek apartment.
4. Apartment found, move out of parents’ house, but still be close enough to enjoy them.

Sounds simple, but could be anything but.

I don’t want to be a boomerang baby. I don’t want to mooch off my folks, but I do want to be able to enjoy their company while they’re in their prime.

Of course, the drawback of living close to my parents is that I’ll have to see the rest of my family more often…hmmm… just kidding…or am I?

...and feel free to correct me if I missed any there/their/they're spellings - there are a lot!

So now I'm Dreaming about Blogging? Crap.

To quote Holly Golightly, "Quelle Night!" (please correct my French, if you know where the accent goes.)

That’s right. Last night I had two “blogocentric” dreams. First I dreamed that The Bloggess turned me into a cartoon on her page. If you read her regularly, as I think the entire blogging world does, then you understand how this dream came about.

Second, I dreamed that I actually met my internet-fiance (blog-fiance? I still don’t know what we are…), Brett of the Transformed Non-conformist, only we still didn’t meet. That dream was kind of Scooby-Doo-ish. You know, lots of going in random doors and coming out others? …But I kept running into his son, who didn’t look like the son Brett posts about in his blog, but I knew it was him because, you know how in dreams you just know? Yeah, that. Also, random members of my own family kept popping up behind the various doors. Hmm… Parse that one, dream-analysts!

(For anyone new to my blog, check out the comment section of this post to catch up. There’s more in Brett's blog, but this is where it started.)

I should explain that these dreams occurred AFTER I awoke at 1:30 a.m., had a small dose of Angry Birds Opium and, unable to go back to sleep after an hour of trying, I finally gave up, grabbed my pillow, and went into the living room to try to doze to a movie. Didn’t really work for a good long while, but obviously I slept at some point, long enough for two distinct dreams.

It’s Karma.

The rough night is, I mean.

See, yesterday was not the first time I took a “mental health day”. I don’t do it often, but I have done it before. However, yesterday I bragged about it online. Shame on me! Not that anyone I know is on here, or even knows about this blog, but still, I tempted fate, and fate accepted the bait, Doggone it.

Since I’m not on-form today, and while I’m inserting links like …wow, there are so many great analogies for that one and my brain is just off. Pick your analogy of choice. Wait, let me know your “link inserting” analogy of choice in the comment-section.

ANYway, I would like to point you to an LOL-funny blog I found recently: Sara's  Tangled Skein is a riot - at least she tickles my distorted funny-bone, so I hope you feel the same. If I ever get out to Spokane, I am totally taking this chica out for coffee (or something). She doesn’t post often, but it’s a gem when she does. So, since I’m not making you laugh, check her out!

AND for today’s reason to celebrate:

Today is the 25^th anniversary of the closest exploding star seen on Earth since the telescope was invented. (Supernova 1987A, in the Large Magellanic Cloud, if you’re counting.) WHAT? A supernova?

Awesome.

Someone needs to create a drink called the supernova…or maybe “exploding star”. Either way.

...Maybe it should have bubbles… sweet. Happy Supernova, everyone!

Playing Hooky and Proud of It!

Hey Dudes!
(Sorry if "dude" annoys you. I live at the beach, and picked it up somehow. I'm not using it to be gender-specific, if that's not obvious. I've decided that ya'll are my "dudes". Deal.)

ANYway...
Hey, Dudes - I'm totally playing hooky today. Or, as my former boss would say, "taking a mental health day". Sometimes you just need an extra day to play catch up on life, sleep, housework, and since I have no definite commitment this evening, how nice not to have to drive anywhere. You know, saving gas is VERY good for the mental health!

Yes, I'm a little sniffly.
Yes, I could with some exaggeration claim I'm crampy.
Yes, my throat has bothered me the last few mornings.
Maybe, it could be pollen-related.
No, I don't feel like I'm on my death bed and cannot move.

I called in to take a sick-day, knowing that these days are so NOT busy at work that nobody will miss me. Besides most of the management is at a big conference today. And I've had a very productive day thus far! I'd launch into a "six impossible things I did before breakfast" but they're not impossible, not all before breakfast, and probably not six.

"Mental health, riiiight..." you say? Here's how mentally healthful this is:

1. Before I even got up I had beaten that Angry Birds level I was stuck at - Yea! Body releases dopamine into my system. Good for the mental health.
2. I moved on into some of the "nickel-slot-style" easy-win levels, but successfully put down the Angry Birds even without feeling stuck on a level! Conquering an addiction. Good for the mental health.
3. After rising, I exercised (which looks spelled wrong) releasing positive endorphines. Good for the mental health.
4. Ate sugary cereal for breakfast, which takes me back to my youth, when we never kept sugared cereal in the house so it was a very unique occasion and always at someone else's house, like Grandma's. Ah, nostalgia. A little nostalgia is good for the mental health.
5. After finishing breakfast, the kettle whistled, I made my giant mug of Earl Grey and went for a walk on the beach. (Dude, it's supposed to get into the upper 60s today, how could I not?) About 45 minutes. Endorphines AND Vitamin C. Very good for the health and mental health. Also, more exercise. SO healthy! Plus meditation time, excellent.
6. When I got out of the shower, I set up a time to skype with my parents later today. We talk every Wednesday, which is unbelievably vital to my mental health. They keep me grounded.
7. I also emailed a friend for her address so I can send her birthday gift, finally. If she gets back to me today, I can wander in to the Post Office and mail it. Sense of accomplishment: good for the mental health!

...and that's just the things I've already done. I still intend to do some of that "catch up" housekeeping, and if time and energy allow, I may even get going on my "organize my house" resolution by rearranging things or at least doing the prep-work. (I've already measured the spaces I want things to go, but need to clear bookshelves in order to move them.)

If it's truly warm, I'll have a beer on my deck later, because that makes me feel like summer's coming and although I'm not particularly a summer-lover, I do enjoy my deck, and again, out on the deck I'll be getting more vitamin C, and curing some cabin fever. ...wait, what time is sunset? Maybe I'll make it a mixed drink and have a "sun-downer" as my dad calls it.

AND on another note:
Today's "reason to celebrate" for those of you who will not be partaking of the Ash Wednesday tradition (which ya can't really call a "celebration" anyway, can ya?) is "Losar" or Tibetan New Year! Excellent! ANOTHER New Year! Get out the bubbly, everyone!