Since no one is really Getting together these days (one hopes), this post is more related to the "Grief" part of my theme.
We moved to China in September of 2016. Knowing we'd be leaving the country that month, my dear mother tried to get the whole family together for Labor Day weekend. She'd had kids out the country consistently for at least 8-10 years. My big brother moved back from Turkey in June, so there had been just three months with all FIVE of her offspring on US soil.
Our family is seriously lacking in family photos that include everyone.
Suddenly, days before the weekend Get together, my little brother decided he had to take his daughters to Chicago to see their maternal grandparents. So the rest of us Got together, but it was not what Mom had hoped for.
Nearly a year later, Brett and I returned from China - partly to close out our storage unit, since we now knew we'd stay in Asia long-term, partly to see family. During that 2-week visit, I only managed to Get together with one of my four siblings.
After moving to Vietnam the following year, we knew it would be a while before any family Get togethers.
Or so we thought.
When my nephew died (18yo) last fall, we scrambled to find a way to get me back to the States. I won't get into all the reasons this was a logistical problem, but Brett couldn't leave.
The whole family at one Get together. For a horrible, horrible, terribly painful reason. But we were there. At one point my older brother (father of the deceased) commented with tears in his eyes about how amazed he was that everyone was there.
When I got home, my darling husband suggested that we start planning a trip to the States for June of this year. A long trip - maybe three weeks - so we could see everyone and spend time together for fun. Not for grief. I had started clocking ticket prices in early January.
Then my eldest sister died. It was ruled a heart attack, although there was no autopsy, so... (Come back on Day S for my opinions of Statistics.) That meant just five months after going State-side for one painful funeral, we were in transit again. This time, Brett was able to accompany me, and THANK GOD!
Again, the whole family was able to Get together. Again for a horrible, horrible, terribly painful reason.
We were, even more than before, looking forward to our June trip - as yet unplanned - to Get together with all of our friends and family for FUN!
When Covid19 came on the scene, I knew that a trip in June wouldn't be possible. My family in the States may have been skeptical, but I knew. Now that they are dealing first hand with this pandemic, they agree. We cannot have any fun Get togethers for a while.
When was your last Get together with friends or family? What did you do? Does the memory of it help keep you optimistic for the next time you can Get together?
I'm too angry at some relatives for a good get together. And they moved half way across the country anyway. I know, I know, I should let it go. Eventually, I will. Once I can get over the anger.
ReplyDeleteI was so pissed when my little brother blew off our "farewell". I told him off, and he cut me off. If his two little girls didn't LOVE me, I'd be completely out of his life.
Delete...I did apologize for telling him off, at the first funeral. Still.
I often wonder when we will be able to see family again. As we have discussed many times, I am quite certain there are some that we have already seen for the last time. Terrible to say, but the longer this goes on, the older our senior family members get.
ReplyDeleteVery true.
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