01 April, 2018

Absence Can Be Good

I love it when my husband is out of town.

But I love it when he is here, too.

I think there's a connection.

Right now, he is in another country - well, he spent the weekend there and will be home tonight. 

When he leaves for short periods of time, I can do things like:
  • Sleep in the middle of the bed.
  • Not wake to pull the blanket my direction in the middle of the night.
  • Sleep soundly with no interruptions from phone notifications.
  • Fall asleep in silence without the TV on.
It's not all sleep-related, though. During these short bursts of absence, I can do cleaning I can't do when he's home.
  • Dusting (the smell of dusting polish gives him a headache)
  • Wash bedding he can't sleep without
I can also set my music or TV to whatever I want or - drum roll - NOTHING AT ALL! Sometimes, I just love silence.

Absence is good for him, too. I'm sure he appreciates sleep-related benefits of absence as I do. Also, he can't concentrate on his writing or reading when I'm home because our apartment is very tiny, and I talk a lot. 
Also, I sneeze loudly. 
Also, when I have a sudden epiphany, I tend to announce it audibly with an "OH!" that makes him jump out of his skin.

He uses a straight razor to shave - on the rare occasions he does - so when he decides it's time to shave he waits until I'm gone. He wanted to shave right before his current trip, so I just shut the one door I can shut and agreed to stay in my own space until he was done. If I make him jump while shaving, he could cut an artery!

I was single for a long time. I'm used to my noises. I think I developed a habit of verbalizing every observation I make. He... tolerates my noise well. 

A little occasional absence from each other helps!


  1. I see where you’re coming from. We have a largish house and so can do our own thing in peace. I have the study and a spare bedroom with a TV set to escape the loud football. I just pass by now and again and ask the score. Whenever we discuss downsizing to an apartment we decide we’re not ready.

    1. I would love a 3-bedroom. Office for him, Yoga room for me, bedroom.

  2. What is it with husbands wanting to have the TV on at bedtime? Mine is the same way, and it drives me crazy! I will wake up in the middle of the night and see it is still on, while he is snoozing away. I guess as far as complaints go, this one is mild, but it does make me wonder why this seems to be a common issue with husbands in the bedroom...

    Looking forward to reading more of your posts this month. Happy A to Z'ing!

    1. Ah! Mine at least sets a timer, and we have settled on a low volume. Still, I sleep better without it.

  3. I get more cleaning done when my husband is gone because I like to clean late but when he's home I want to spend time with him.

    I'm also responding to your question on my blog about Peppa Pig (I couldn't figure out how to just respond). I am in America! She's been on TV for a while around here but just recently started blowing up with toys and clothes!

    Happy blogging!

    1. That's interesting to know! I guess I haven't been buying kids' toys or watching kids' TV in a long time!

  4. This makes perfect sense to me. As great as it can be to have someone in your life, it's good to have your own space and to be able to meander through your day doing your own thing without having to concern yourself with how it might impact someone else!

    1. We were both out of work for a while last winter, and had to devise times we could each have the apartment to ourselves. It was so hard.

  5. I agree and you appreciate them.
    Happy A to Zing so nice to meet you!

  6. You know what they say about absence...

    And straight razors. He's a brave, brave man!

    A Bit to Read

    1. I'm waiting for the day he shaves with no blood!

  7. I could sooooo relate to this - I've been married for 35 years (!!) and I still love it when I get to starfish in the middle of the bed when he goes away - and I love being at home by myself (my hub works from home these days - so it's rare) I even loudly announce "Home Alone!!!" and do a little happy dance. But it's lovely when he comes back too.

    Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au
    B for Believe in Yourself

    1. That is so great. <3
      I'm learning Mandarin right now, and interestingly, the character for "bed" looks like a person star-fished on a bed!

  8. We have no TV in our bedroom. It's too small. It was also my flat before it was ours, so ... I picked it that way :)

    A-Zing this year at:
    Normally found at:

    1. We didn't have a TV in our US bedroom, but our Chinese apartment has a tiny front room, a large "bedroom" and that's it. I don't intend to have a TV in our bedroom again!


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