12 April, 2018

Know Yourself

I am a big believer in knowing yourself outside any relationship. If you define yourself based upon the tastes and views of your Significant Other, what happens when that relationship ends? Will you merely morph into the next SO and the next?

To the young people in my life, I highly recommend taking some time ON YOUR OWN. Be solo. Be single. Figure out your loves and hates. 

This image recently showed up on social media, with this statement: "You have been dating someone for a month, and it's going great. Finally, they invite you to their place, and you see this. What would you do?"


That ^^ is a deal breaker for me, and I said so. As I read some of the comments, I saw one person said they would inquire what caused the mess and help clean it up. I had a moment of guilt for being an uncaring person, but only a moment. I know myself.

That image creates the physical sensation of a panic attack in me. I can't even shop in department stores that are too cluttered for the anxiety it causes. My husband once tried to get me to watch the show Hoarders (the extreme one) and I almost vomited it was so gross.

I am all about helping someone clean up a mess. I have done that before. But this deep of a mess? For the rest of my life? If I'm dating someone and see this, I know that it will probably happen again. At least, I know that there is the possibility, and I cannot live like that in the long term. If this relationship (hypothetically we'd been dating a month when I saw this, remember) has an expiration date on it because of something like this, I'd rather end it sooner than later.

This is just one simple way knowing yourself helps in regards to romantic relationships. How do you see yourself fitting into the world? Have you ever taken time to discover yourself? Have you just always known your own mind?

(If you're visiting from A to Z, please include the name of your blog as it is on the Master List so I can return the favor!)

9 comments:

  1. It's funny when you said you nearly vomitted watching Hoarders, that's how I felt when I saw that picture. Anyone who could exist in that squalor could not be part of my world. I'm a great believer in opposites attracting, but you need the same foundations (and to do that you need to know your own non-negotiables).

    Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au
    K for Keep Trying

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I once stayed in a house that was, I believe, owned by hoarders, but at least the mountains of ancient newspapers were neatly stacked, and the kitchen was not dripping with rust!

      Delete
  2. I've spent time on my own and I really enjoyed it. I can't deny that I was a tad nervous, but I was 50 and it was the first time. I love my boyfriend, but there are times when I look back at those years fondly.

    Oh & I knew someone with a house like that. We did date, but only briefly. I never saw the house till afterwards & it was a relief to be "just" a friend.

    A-Zing this year at:
    FictionCanBeFun
    Normally found at:
    DebsDespatches

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've never dated anyone with a house like this, that I know of. Maybe someone whose house I never saw?

      Delete
    2. I never liked to visit, so even the friendship didn't survive long.

      Delete
  3. Oh wow, that kitchen... Yeah, I'd have made a run for it, too.

    Liz from Laws of Gravity

    ReplyDelete
  4. I often wonder how I would manage on my own. I was 21 when I married and now at 67 marvel at how much time has elapsed. I try to do things with other people but it is an effort. I prefer to do everything with my husband. I would have no problem running the finances etc as I do that now but can’t imagine living alone. I wouldn’t live with that guy with the messy house though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only thing I couldn't get my head around as a singleton, was going to bars alone. I can eat alone, I actually prefer movies alone, and shopping is best for me if I put up my invisible bubble!

      Delete

I enjoy a good debate. Feel free to shake things up. Tell me I'm wrong. Ask me why I have such a weird opinion. ...or, just laugh and tell how this relates to you and your life.