I am a big believer in knowing yourself outside any relationship. If you define yourself based upon the tastes and views of your Significant Other, what happens when that relationship ends? Will you merely morph into the next SO and the next?
To the young people in my life, I highly recommend taking some time ON YOUR OWN. Be solo. Be single. Figure out your loves and hates.
This image recently showed up on social media, with this statement: "You have been dating someone for a month, and it's going great. Finally, they invite you to their place, and you see this. What would you do?"
That ^^ is a deal breaker for me, and I said so. As I read some of the comments, I saw one person said they would inquire what caused the mess and help clean it up. I had a moment of guilt for being an uncaring person, but only a moment. I know myself.
That image creates the physical sensation of a panic attack in me. I can't even shop in department stores that are too cluttered for the anxiety it causes. My husband once tried to get me to watch the show Hoarders (the extreme one) and I almost vomited it was so gross.
I am all about helping someone clean up a mess. I have done that before. But this deep of a mess? For the rest of my life? If I'm dating someone and see this, I know that it will probably happen again. At least, I know that there is the possibility, and I cannot live like that in the long term. If this relationship (hypothetically we'd been dating a month when I saw this, remember) has an expiration date on it because of something like this, I'd rather end it sooner than later.
This is just one simple way knowing yourself helps in regards to romantic relationships. How do you see yourself fitting into the world? Have you ever taken time to discover yourself? Have you just always known your own mind?
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