27 April, 2018

X is for Exes

Today's "Life Wisdom" is more of a question about something I have never understood.

When you break up with somebody, why do you then get back together with your Ex?

I'm not talking about the cases where "I need to take a break to think about this." Sometimes an earth - and relationship - shattering revelation can really make one person in a relationship step back to re-assess before determining to continue or discontinue the relationship. I get that. But after the actual break-up, why the reunion?

For me, if I broke off a relationship, it was because I realized that it was going nowhere.
Do some people just break up on a whim? I'm mad, so everything we've built is bad?

I don't get it.

One time, I broke it off and heard, "but I want to be with SOMEbody!" This guy wasn't questioning that we weren't a good match; he just didn't want to be alone. Is that it? He was honestly hurt when I said there wasn't someone else. "So you'd rather be alone than with me?" like that was a personal insult.

I don't get it.
I really hope that guy found someone truly suitable for him.

Yes, I would rather be alone than be with someone who is not a good fit with my personality and life choices. Another question, why do so many people not get that? Why?

I really hope some of you can help illuminate this issue for me. Exes are exes for a reason.

(If you're visiting from A to Z, please include the name of your blog as it is on the Master List so I can return the favor!)


  1. I think it belongs to the part of our brain that tends to remember the happy times and forget the crappy times. I think back to old boyfriends and remember songs from that time, fun things we did, friends we shared - the stage of life when we were young and carefree. I see the allure of looking back but I'm not stupid enough to revisit past mistakes and I don't really understand people who go back in the hope that it will be different a second time around.

    Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au
    X for Xcellence in your efforts

    1. I guess I just know my mind. If I have decided there isn't a future, there isn't one. I also never backtrack. Life moves forward. I can't even comprehend the concept.

  2. Maybe they realise that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. Some people will cannot cope on their own, for various reasons. www.hesterleynel.co.za

    1. True, the grass may not be greener, but if it was so bad on one side of the fence that you left that side of the fence, is it worth it to go back?
      Maybe some people don't trust their own decisions.

  3. Guilty of this one. I think the degree of foolhardiness depends on whether the original problem was the relationship or the circumstances of that time. Sometimes going back again works out - often it doesn't, but you get closure that you didn't get the first time.

    *Why* have I done it? To be absolutely sure I don't have any "what if's" biting me in the butt farther on down the road. A lot of people don't interact with the world that way and cannot imagine a bigger waste of time. Which is absolutely fair... but I don't understand them any better than they understand me.

    But then again, we all do things that don't make sense to someone else, don't you think?

    1. Interesting! I guess to me, "breaking up" has always meant closure, so I never considered that it might not mean that to others.

      You're right. I don't think I'll ever understand this, but I do have several burnt bridges behind me. (I don't regret them; I never think "what if", but I know they are there.) Many people probably don't understand my view, either!


I enjoy a good debate. Feel free to shake things up. Tell me I'm wrong. Ask me why I have such a weird opinion. ...or, just laugh and tell how this relates to you and your life.